Page 108 of Lotus

He pauses his feet, turning towards me as he runs a dirty hand down his jaw. He’s a tall man, maybe a giant, with a large forehead and jet black hair. “Call me Bradford.”

“Where are you right now, Oliver?”

The doctor’s voice pokes through. “I’m in the basement… the very first night. Bradford looks frightened. We’re both frightened.”

“Does he want to hurt you?”

“No.”

A pause. “Look down at your arm, Oliver.”

“lotus”

It means something.

I can’t forget, I can’t forget.

There’s a penny in my pocket, so I pull it out after Bradford has left me alone with a sleeping bag and a black bucket. It’s cold down here. I miss the sunshine.

With the penny held between my shaking fingers, I begin to carve letters into the stone wall beside my sleeping area. I start with my name.

Oliver Lynch.

I can’t forget, I can’t forget.

It takes a long time to write my name. The penny doesn’t dig deep enough.

Then I write “lotus” beneath my name.

What does it mean?

I say the word aloud, whispering it into the lonely cell that is illuminated by only a flashlight: “Lotus.”

The word sounds strange on my tongue; unfamiliar.

I don’t know what it means, but I think…

I think it means everything.

I squeeze my eyelids shut, my mind reaching for the memories.

Only, this memory feels different somehow. It doesn’t feel buried, it feels…nonexistent.

Finding my voice, I rasp out, “I don’t think I ever knew what that word meant, not even then.”

“That’s okay, Oliver,” Dr. Malloy says gently. “Maybe your captor was involved in something very serious, and it was some kind of code word. What do you think?”

“Perhaps.”

“Did he ever reference something along those lines?”

“No.”

Pen scratches against paper. “Let’s get out of that basement for a moment,” she says. “Let’s go back a little bit further.”

An image bursts to life…

My mother.

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