Page 106 of Lotus

He stares at me for three whole seconds, my response registering like sludge. Then we both break out into laughter, shoulders shaking, the affection between us palpable. For the very first time, I am truly and exceptionallyhappy. I have a family. I have freedom and possibilities and fresh air and sunshine. I have hope. I have meaning.

I haveher.

As we fall into a comfortable silence, Gabe broaches another change of subject, propping his feet up on the coffee table and crossing them at the ankles. “So, have you given any thought to shacking up with the old man? Not that I want you gone, but I can’t deny the appeal there… this adulting shit is stressful. If he offered me a rent-free space at his lake house with financial assistance, I’d probably be all over that. I might never have sex again, but fuck it,” he laughs, folding his arms.

“I have considered it,” I admit, recalling the way I’ve played out the scenario over and over in my mind, finding great difficulty in turning down such a generous offer. It would be a temporary burden in exchange for arealfuture. While Sydney does not appear to be the materialistic type, she will surely desire gifts, vacations, and dates that don’t involve her living room sofa at some point in time. Our friendship and attraction will only take us so far before stressors begin to seep in like poison—my lack of career, vehicle, and sustainable income being the primary concerns. “You think I should accept?”

A thoughtful pause before Gabe shrugs. “I mean, I’ll miss the hell out of you, but it might be in your best interest. It’s not easy starting from scratch at thirty-years-old. Sometimes we need that push, and most people don’t have a push as good as what’s on the table for you, you know?”

I nod, seeing his point. “Yes. It seems like a smart move. I’ll discuss with Sydney and—”

“You’re leaving?”

Her voice has me twisting around on the sofa, and I’m met with stormy eyes, glistening like puddles after a rain shower. “Sydney… you’re awake,” I smile, overjoyed to see her because that will always be my reaction to seeing her.

Sydney hugs herself, still dressed in my t-shirt, along with her leather bottoms from the night before. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you leaving, Oliver?”

“I… I don’t know. I was hoping we could discuss.”

A slow nod greets me, matched with a tight jaw. “I didn’t realize there was anything to discuss.”

“I’m sorry, this was a sudden development.” She’s angry. She’s hurt. I can feel the heavy emotions radiating off of her, nearly suffocating me. “Syd, I’m just trying to evaluate what’s best for me. Forus.”

Gabe remains silent, distracting himself with his cellular phone, while Sydney begins a quest for her shoes. She sniffs, traipsing down the staircase to fetch them. “It’s fine. I’m going to head out… I need to check on Alexis.”

“Sydney.” I’m on my feet, following her down the steps with worry piercing my heart. “Syd, please. It’s not my intention to hurt you.”

She shuffles into her shoes, ignoring me.

“Please don’t shut me out. I’d like to talk about this.”

Sydney throws me a wounded glance as she reaches for her coat. “There’s nothing to talk about. We’re not on the same page, and that’s on me.”

“That’s not true at all,” I try to reason, my anxiety swelling. “Lake Geneva is less than an hour from here—we can make it work. It would be temporary.”

“And, what, spend the weekend fucking in Travis’ spare bedroom, then go back to our separate lives?” Sydney swipes a piece of loose hair from her eyes, her cheeks flushed with indignation. “No thanks. That’s not what I signed up for.”

“I didn’t realize there was a dotted line!” For the first time that I can recall, a feeling of outrage prickles my skin. My blood boils with anger, desperation, a sickly sense of dissolution. She’s misunderstanding everything. “I would be doing this foryou, Sydney. I’m trying to become a better man—a man you can be proud of. A man who has the means to take care of you.”

Sydney zips up her jacket, pausing to drink in my words, her eyes averted just beyond me. Her chin is quivering as she deliberates her response. Swallowing, she finally replies, “You know me, Oliver. I don’t need anyone taking care of me.” Her voice has dipped into a quiet contemplation, her gaze drifting back to me with poignancy. “All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted isyou.”

My heart clenches when she turns to walk out the front door. How, after the sixteen hours we shared together, can she just walk out like this? She hasn’t even given me a chance to discuss the circumstances. I call out to her, pushing through the screen, sans my shoes and coat. “Sydney!”

“I just need some space, Oliver,” she replies over her shoulder, stomping through the yard towards her house. “I just need to think.”

I stare at her retreating back, eyes stinging, my skin blasted with a winter draft. She says nothing else as she disappears through the front door, prompting me to collapse onto the porch step, my head in my hands. Frustration eats away at me, uncertain on how to proceed. I did not expect this reaction from her. I did not expect any of this, given the intimacy we just shared.

As I sit and stew with strange, new emotions worming their way inside of me, I tent my hands in front of my face, tapping my fingertips against my lips.

Sydney wants space. I can give her space.

I’ll give her anything she asks for.

Before I pull myself to my feet, a flicker of movement catches my eye from the left side of the yard. I frown, gaze casing my surroundings, searching for the source.

I don’t anticipate what I see.

Athena.

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