Page 102 of Lotus

A tiny sob breaks free, and I kiss him.

I kiss him because Ihaveto, because it’s the only choice, because it’s the only thing left to do. I’m on my knees, clutching his t-shirt as I melt into him, his hands still cupping my jaw as our mouths lock. I feel his groan, I taste it, our lips parting to let the other inside. His tongue sweeps across my own, a trace of strawberries fused with passion, and that passion begins to mount and climb when one hand lowers to palm my breast through the thin layer of cotton. The heartfelt moment turns into a lust-filled haze, my body arching into him on instinct, our tongues starved.

I pull back to breathe, my body trembling as I kneel beside him, my fingers white-knuckled, gripping his shirt. “Oliver…” A familiar fear trickles in while I gaze into his eyes that are crackling with fevered flames, knowing this will change everything.Terrifiedthis will change everything.

Our beautiful dynamic. Our precious friendship.

When I hold him at arm’s length, it’s so much easier to keep his heart safe and protected.

“Oliver, I’m scared,” I admit, baring my weakness as I drop my forehead to his.

“I’m not.” He brings me closer until my leg lifts on its own accord, and I’m in his lap. “Iachefor you, Sydney,” Oliver rasps, one hand curling behind my head, fisting my hair. “I crave to be inside you more than I craved freedom in all of those twenty-two years combined.”

Holy hell. I feel my ovaries spontaneously fertilizing.

“God…” I whimper, wrought with need, our groins melded together as I straddle him. I can’t help my hips from swiveling, grinding, begging for friction. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Why not?”

Our lips touch, just barely, and I breathe more words against them. “Because… my willpower is hanging by a flimsy thread, and I swear I’m only one longing look, one touch, one more fucked-up, glorious truth away from throwing logic out the window and never looking back.”

“There is no logic in the way our hearts beat, Sydney. Only magic.”

“Oliver…”

“Tell me how to break that thread.”

My willpower turns to dust when his tongue pokes out to trace my lips, lips that are nearly quivering, a seductive request for entry.

I open, I accept, I squash my fears and doubts and insecurities and kiss him hard.

I break the goddamn thread.

He feels my surrender when our tongues meet again with renewed fervor. I sense it in the way his body trembles, his hands going rogue and casing my curves, desperate to explore the unknown. I hear it in the moan he releases into my mouth when the heat between my thighs presses into his rock-hard erection.

Our mouths part so I can yank his shirt up over his head, fingers splaying over his chest as I fall back down, his mouth catching me. I’m grinding, scratching, mewling, his hands dipping beneath the hem of my shirt until they find my bare breasts. He cups them, palming with urgency, his thumbs circling the tight nipples. I’m making sounds I’ve never heard before as Oliver touches me, and I reach down to pull my own shirt off, hair falling down in waves, my body finally exposed to him. His eyes blaze with something primal, a wildfire, and it spreads between us fast and furious. Instantly, he leans in, taking my breast in his mouth, then the other, his tongue swirling each nipple and making my underwear flood with my need for him.

And then it’s a desperate race to discard our final barriers. I move back to fumble with his belt buckle, fingers shaking with blind lust as Oliver tangles his hands in my hair like he’s unable to let me go for even a second. When I unlatch the belt and unzip him, I start pulling down his pants and boxers, bunching them at his knees as he lifts his hips to assist me.

His cock springs free, and myGod, he’s beautiful. Big, thick, fully hard andachingfor me. I can’t help but wrap my hand around his length, giving him a tug as I graze my thumb along the wet tip. Oliver’s head drops back against the headboard, his groan mingling with mine, and while there are so many things I want to do to him right now, I can’t go another minute without feeling him inside me.

I release him, yanking off my panties and scooting forward until I’m centered right above the tip of his cock. It teases my core, an exquisite torture, as our eyes meet through a fog of fire and frenzy. Oliver’s hand curves around my neck, pulling our lips back together, while my own hands sift through his mess of hair.

Hips twirling, I rub my clit against his erection, the desire coiling low and deep, causing his own hips to jerk up, his grip on me tightening. “God, Sydney… please.”

“You’re sure?” I murmur, words intertwining with my needy gasps, my lips trailing kisses along his jaw.

Oliver responds by lining himself up with my entrance, slipping inside just barely, only an agonizing inch, ripping a shameless whimper from my throat. He hesitates, though, his eyes flaring. “I… I don’t have a contraceptive,” he says, his voice low and strained, his urge to thrust all the way in hardly controlled.

“I’m on the pill,” I reply, my voice no different. “I’m safe. It’s okay.”

A hiss pushes past his clenched teeth when I reach between us to grip his cock, gliding it over my wetness before lowering myself onto him. We both watch as I sink down, taking him inside me, stealing his virtue inch by inch. The image is the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen, and I fucking almost come undone right then and there, with Oliver’s drawn-out groan carrying me to the finish line. But I hold it back, biting my lip as our pelvises finally meet and he’s buried to the hilt. “Fuck…” I whisper, strangled and unhinged.

This seems to trigger something in him, and his hands are instantly clutching my waist, fingers digging into me as he begins to pump his hips. Lifting up, I slide back down, harder than before, then do it again. And again. Faster, needier, driven by all-consuming hunger. A lifetime of longing and yearning andmissing him. I need him closer, closer than ever, desperate to feel every single piece he’s willing to give. Every inch of skin that’s warm and alive, beating heart, blood pumping.

Tugging his face to my chest, I increase my pace, feeling his cock filling me, stretching me, as his arms wrap around my back and cling tight. I know I should be gentle; I should go slow. We need to savor this moment, butGod, I can’t… Ican’t. There’s no foreplay, no sweet caresses, no thought to the fact that I’m taking his virginity, and with that, should come tender restraint.

But I can’t hold back, and neither can he.

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