Page 93 of Claws and Feathers

Numb.

He would not beg her. He would not give her bullet points as to why their love story was one for the ages, or how their hearts were made to beat in perfect time, or how he haddiedat the exact moment he’d thought he’d lost her.

No, he would not give her reasons. He would not make a list. If Abigail Stone did not already know these things, then it was simply better that she go. Cooper would heal in time. Maybe someday he would forget her crooked smile, and the smell of her tangerine skin, and the way she made him laugh out loud. He would forget the sounds she’d make when he kissed the spot on her neck right below her ear. He’d forget her enormous strength, and the curve of her hips, and the way her hand fit perfectly in his own.

Surely, he’d forget.

Cooper looked out his back window at where he’d left her over an hour ago. She had fallen to her knees, sobbing against the surface of his dock. She’d looked broken – like she didn’t want this as much ashedidn’t want this.

Thenwhy? Why add to their grief and suffering? Hadn’t they been through enough?

Cooper growled and planted his fists against his dining room wall, his chest heaving, his breathing strained.

Fuck it.

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number. If she wanted him to beg, then goddammit, he would beg.

He sighed when the call went straight to voicemail.

Cooper closed his eyes, contemplating his next move. He could spill his guts to her in a pathetic voicemail and hope she changed her mind, or he could let her go. He could move on with his life and go back to the way things were. Before Abby. Before May.

Hell.

Who was he kidding? There was no going back. He was too far gone.

Her voicemail beeped and he began to speak. “Abby, if you’re there… if you listen to his… dammit, don’t go. I told myself I wouldn’t beg you, but the truth is, there’s nothing Iwouldn’tdo for you. If you need to make amends with your brother, I understand. I get it. Let me come with you – I’ll take some time off work and we can go together. We canhealtogether. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I know that means something. I know it means more than what you’re allowing us to be.” He paused to take a breath and collect his thoughts as he continued to pace the kitchen. His gaze settled on the pier once again. “I see more summers out on my boat. I see marathons of The Office and game nights and bad jokes and…” He hesitated, unable to hold back a laugh. “And make-out sessions against appliances. I see it all. I see a future… with you, Abby. Nothing else matters if you aren’t here.” He took a final breath before finishing. “I’m a fighter. I was born a fighter. But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t fight for the most important thing of all –you. So… just think about it, okay?”

Cooper clicked off the call and tossed his phone down on the kitchen table with a clatter. He pulled out a chair and sat down, scratching his head, feeling like a tool for pouring his heart out into a voicemail message. He should have told her everything out on that dock.

But he thought she knew. How could shenotknow?

Cooper tapped his foot against the floor, this thoughts erratic. Abby’s entire life had been full of abandonment and betrayal. She was programmed to fear. She was programmed to distrust. She was programmed torun. He couldn’t blame her for that. She was simply wired that way.

Cooper stood up then. He didn’t think twice before pulling on his shoes and running out his front door. He ran to Daphne’s house. He ran the whole damn mile to her ranch on Sullivan Hill. He didn’t stop to breathe, or think, or process his next move. He just needed to see her, to hold her, to tell her to stay.She needed to stay.

He knocked on Daphne’s screen door, pounding his fist against the rickety frame.

“Jeez Louise, I’m coming!” Daphne shouted, her footsteps quickly approaching. She whipped open the door, raising an eyebrow in aggravation when she spotted him. “Oh, it’s you. If you’re here about that parking ticket, I’m going to pay it eventually.”

“I’m here for Abby.”

Daphne studied him through the screen, pulling her lip between her teeth. There was an unmistakable sympathy in her eyes. “Sorry, McAllister. You just missed her. She left about fifteen minutes ago.”

Cooper deflated, his hands pressed up against the door as he leaned forward, head down.

“Am I witnessing that part in the romance movie where the hero chases after the girl, but it’s too late, and his heart is broken, blah blah blah, cue the angst and tears?” Daphne chirped, pushing open the door and poking her head out.

He stepped back, sighing in defeat. “Yeah. I think you are.”

“Well, she also forgot her phone, so there’s no chance of calling her either. I’ll have to mail it to her.” Daphne pulled Abby’s cell phone out of her back pocket and waved it around in her hand. Then she tilted her head to the side as she regarded him. “Damn. This is actually kind of sad. Do you want a hug or something?”

Cooper shook his head.

No, he didn’t want a hug. He didn’t want pity.

The only thing he wanted was gone.

Abby pulled into Kate’s driveway with her heart in her throat, mentally preparing for her final goodbye. She hadn’t seen Kate since the morning of the shooting. The last memory in Abby’s mind was Kate falling at her feet with a bullet in her back and a look of shock and horror on her face. It haunted her. It kept her away. It kept her locked up in her box of shame, unable to face the remnants of her crimes.

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