Page 86 of Claws and Feathers

And lay lodged – though not dead.

I know how the flowers felt.”

–Robert Frost –

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

One foot forward.

Two feet forward.

Keep going.

You can do this.

All Cooper could hear was his heart unraveling against his ribcage and the sound of his frazzled breaths resounding in his ears. He felt like he was in a dream, or a time lapse, or a fractured, new world. Every step he took felt like a step backward. The hospital doors looked farther and farther away with each forward movement.

Maybe he wanted it that way. Maybe he never wanted to step foot into that hospital, or to allow reality to consume him. Maybe he wanted to pretend.

Pretend.

Forever.

Kate and Abby were alive.Barely.They were both in critical condition and their respective prognoses were uncertain.

James didn’t make it.

His partner had died at the scene after being shot three times in the chest. One of the bullets went straight through his heart. It was likely he’d never felt a thing.

It was a small solace.

The news still echoed through him and crackled like fireworks as he made his way towards the hospital entrance. His body ached from the tense drive home. He had received updates from his father and Sheriff Reynolds as he’d sped down the expressway pushing one-hundred miles per hour, and it was probably the worst few hours of his entire life.

When his mother had died, at least he’d had closure. He’d seen it coming. He’d been there when she’d taken her final breath. Cooper had known exactly what was happening.

Today was different. Today was a different kind of pain and fear and unmatched horror. He was completely helpless, hundreds of miles away, unable to do anything but keep on driving. He could only wait out the agonizing hours and hope for the best.

Cooper found himself pushing through the revolving doors with blurry eyes and a sour stomach. The receptionist stood from her chair, adorning a worried expression. Cooper didn’t know why she was moving in slow motion and speaking in clipped and gargled phrases. Was she under water? Washeunder water?

“Cooper.”

His name. At least he knew his name.

Cooper’s head shifted to the right, a familiar face coming into his line of vision.

“Son,” Earl said.

Cooper squinted his eyes, his perception muddy. His sight tampered.

Why did it feel like he was falling?

It felt like he was falling because hewasfalling. His world had come undone and it was taking him down with it. Cooper collapsed to his knees as his father rushed over, crouching down in front of him.

“My son,” Earl whispered softly, showing more emotion, showing moreaffectionfor him in that moment than he ever had before.

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders and it was a comfort Cooper didn’t know he needed. He was used to being strong. He was used to being valiant. He was used to carrying the sword in his capable hands and fighting through the murk and mud and long, dark nights. He was used to carrying it all on his own.

Cooper broke against his father’s shoulder, realizing it had been decades since he’d last cried. He thought back to a summer morning when he was only a small child, running through his backyard with a popsicle in one hand and a tiny toad in the other. He had dirt on his face and grass stains on his shoes. He was running over to their playset where Kate was gliding languidly along on a swing.

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