Page 89 of Claws and Feathers

Her heart was here.

Like divine intervention, Cooper appeared in her doorway then. Abby thought maybe her heart had died when that bullet lodged in her chest, butno. Here it was, thumping new life right through her, beating wildly as her gaze landed on the man she loved. Her heart was beating just for him.

“Abby.”

Her name sounded like a lost melody on his tongue. It made her weep. Abby reached out to him, tears welling in her eyes and a cry escaping her lips. Ryan stood from his chair and moved aside, and Cooper ran to her. Heranto her. He fell to his knees by her bedside and cradled her hand in his.

“I thought I lost you,” he said, his words breaking as he pressed his forehead against their entwined fingers. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

No, no, no.Cooper felt guilty. He blamed himself.God, she couldn’t allow him to think like that. Abby sniffed back her tears as she raised her hand to his face. Her arm felt heavy; frail. But she managed to keep it upright as she let her fingers sweep over his cheek. Cooper looked unwell. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in weeks – maybe months. Maybe a lifetime. His eyes were hollow and swollen, and his skin was pale despite the summer sun. His hair was a tousled mess, and the stubble along his jaw had turned into scruff. “None of this is your fault, Cooper. Don’t you dare say that. If you were there, you would have died, too.”

He kissed her knuckles, then reached for her other hand and kissed that one, too. “Jesus, Abby. I was so fucking scared.” Cooper leaned over and smoothed her hair back, kissing her forehead. He lingered there, and Abby’s eyes closed in contentment.

“How long have I been out?” she wondered as he pulled back.

Cooper sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Eight days,” he replied. “You woke up a few hours ago in a panic, so the nurse had to give you drugs to calm you down. You fell back asleep and I went to go visit with Kate. I wasn’t sure when you’d wake back up again.”

Eight days. She was out for eight days. It was a long time to be somewhere else – to be lost in a dreamworld she couldn’t remember. Abby squeezed Cooper’s hand, her eyes roving over his handsome face. “How is Kate? Is she okay?”

He nodded. “She’s doing really good. She’s going home soon.” Cooper smiled at her. “She’s been asking about you.”

More tears. More weeping. More grief. “Tell her I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Abby was sorry for the destruction she had brought into Kate’s life. She was sorry for the bullet in her friend’s back. She was sorry for playing a role in the death ofher guy.

“She doesn’t blame you, Abby. Nobody blames you.”

“Iblame me,” she responded. “I put it all in motion. On one rainy night twelve years ago, I created a chain of events that would ruin so many lives.” Abby couldn’t hold back the new wave of tears. She wondered how many tears she could cry before her tear ducts dried up and turned to ash.

Cooper’s brow furrowed, and he turned to Ryan who was leaning against the far wall, trying to stay out of their moment. Cooper looked back at Abby with confusion on his face. “Did Ryan tell you what happened? About the accident?”

She chewed on her lip, lowering her eyes. “When he… when The Man was shooting at us, he came up to me, and… I started having these flashbacks to the accident.” Abby wiped the tear stains from her cheeks with a shuddering breath. “At first I wasn’t sure if they were nightmares or fragments of reality, but he had this look in his eyes. A horrible look, and I justknew. I did it. I put that look there.”

Cooper closed his eyes slowly, seemingly at a loss for words. He tilted his head down, kissing her hand again, breathing in her scent. “You’ll get through this, Abby,” he finally said. “I’m here. We’ll do it together.”

She glanced over at Ryan, their eyes locking, as Cooper mimicked her brother’s words from only moments ago. Abby gulped down a shaky breath, clutching to Cooper’s hand and looking up at the ceiling.

She had a choice to make.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Dearest Abigail,

When I was pregnant with your father, I prayed so hard for a little girl. I know how blasphemous that sounds, and I hope you’ll never think ill of me. Heaven knows how much I loved your father and always will. But ever since I was a young girl, I wished for a daughter to call my own.

Then God gave me you.

My heart sang with joy, and I knew I had to protect you at all costs. You are precious to me. You always have been.

If you are reading this, my sweet child, please forgive me. I have crossed over to eternal life and have left you with a great burden. You must understand why I did what I did. Love comes in many forms – it is not always chocolates and roses and candy hearts.

It is hard choices. It is sacrifice. It is pain.

I cannot shield you from all the horrors of this Earth, but I can do what I can to protect your heart the only way I know how. We all have our blessings in life, and I have been blessed with financial security. I chose to use my blessings to protect you from a terrible tragedy – from a terrible truth.

Sweet Abigail, I know you never meant to hurt anyone. Your heart is pure and kind. Accidents are part of life, and I pray you will find peace one day. Your parents loved you more than life itself, and I know they are looking down on you with pride. No one blames you for what happened. It was a cruel twist of fate. Please know that.

I have saved what I could over the last year and have given your brother a box. I asked Ryan to give you this box if you ever uncover the truth one day. It doesn’t erase what happened, nor the pain you are inevitably feeling, but I pray that it provides you with the answers I was never able to give you.

Forgive me, child. Do not think less of me. You are the daughter I never had, and I only ever tried to do what was best for you.

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