Page 88 of Claws and Feathers

The Man.

The accident.

Everything spilled through at once, leaving her breathless. Abby started to cry. “Are they okay?” she sobbed.

Ryan clutched her hand, scooting forward on his chair. “Shh. Take a deep breath.”

“I – I need to know. Please. Are they dead?” Abby was wrecked with anguish and mourning andguilt. “Oh, God, are they dead?”

A nurse rushed into the room, and Ryan lifted his head to her. “She’s remembering again,” Ryan mentioned as the nurse slid over to the side of Abby’s bed and fiddled with her IV line.

Abby was shaking and shuddering as something cold began to glide through her veins. She felt a calming wave wash over her, her body instantly relaxing. “Please,” she whispered, her plea directed to the nurse, her gaze slowly following. “I need to know if my friends are okay.”

The nurse only smiled as she continued her task. “Just rest,” she replied, then turned to leave the room.

Abby looked back at her brother, taking in his features for the first time. He had aged a bit, of course, but he was the same Ryan. He was handsome and distinguished with sandy hair and a crooked smile just like hers. She reached for his hand again and he took it. “Tell me, Ryan. Please. I have to know the truth.”

The truth.

What a notion. Abby had been shielded from the truth for almost half her life – she had been lied to, betrayed, and deceived. And for what? – to protect her? To preserve for her a cushy, guilt-free future? Abby’s breath ruptured as she inhaled. She didn’t remember everything about the accident. Some things, some images, somenightmareswere still buried, and Abby wondered if they always would be. Maybe her brain wasalsotrying to protect her. Maybe all the things she had seen that night were just too much for one person to carry.

But she remembered the precise jerk of the steering wheel. She remembered the screams and the sound of metal against metal. She remembered The Man bellowing his sorrow into the night as the rain pelted down on them like razors.

Abby squeezed her eyelids shut, forcing the memories back. Ryan ran his thumb along her knuckles when he noticed her tension rising.

“Your friend is alive, Abby. Kate survived,” Ryan finally said. “They think she’s going to make it.”

Oh.Oh, what a thing to hear. A silver lining amidst the shadows. She swallowed, then asked with hesitation, “James?”

Ryan’s expression said it all. His eyes drifted from her, his grip on her tightening. All he did was shake his head, and Abby’s tears reemerged. James Walker was a soldier shot down in battle. Only, it was a battle he had no business fighting. It washerbattle. It washerwar. The thought sickened her.

“Abigail…” Ryan pulled his hand from hers and sat up straight in his chair, running his fingers through his shaggy mop of hair. “I’m so sorry for abandoning you. The more time that passed by, the harder it was to face you. I had a lot of anger and resentment and I didn’t know how to handle it.” He closed his eyes, his knee bobbing up and down. “But I never thought about how you must have felt. You were grieving, too, and we should have fought through the pain together. I made you go through it alone, and it’s a cross I’ll bear for the rest of my life.”

More tears spilled from her eyes. Abby wiped them against her shoulder with a sniffle as she took in his words.

“There’s so much to tell you, Abigail,” he continued. “There’s so much you need to know.” Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded-up envelope. “Nana left this for you. She gave it to me the day I moved out and asked me to hold onto it in case she was gone and… you remembered. I never planned to give it to you, but… after everything that’s happened, I need to. You deserve the truth.”

Abby watched as he set the envelope down on her bedside table. “I know the truth, Ryan. It was my fault.”

Ryan’s head jerked towards her, a look of confusion sweeping over his face. “You do?”

“Not everything,” she explained, shifting in the bed. “Flashes. Feelings. Sounds. I remember enough.”

“Jesus,” he sighed, wiping a hand over his face and shaking his head. “I can’t imagine everything you’re trying to process right now. It’s so much.”

Abby was used to shouldering more than what one heart should ever have to hold, but this… this was more than she could carry alone. This was back-breaking. “To be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, Ryan. My whole life has been blow after blow. I fall, and I get back up. Rinse and repeat,” Abby told him, her chest already swelling with the prospect of having to trudge through new pain. New heartache. “I’m not sure how to survive this.”

Ryan studied her, his eyes thoughtful as they skimmed her face. He nodded, leaning into her and wrapping her hand in both of his palms. “Come back home with me. I’ll help you. I need to make up for lost time – we can do this together.”

She sucked in a breath. “You mean… leave The Crow?”

“There’s nothing here for you, Abby. You shouldn’t be alone anymore.” He smiled, intrigued by this new venture. “There’s this great complex of condos about a mile from my subdivision. Delilah, my wife, and I lived there before we bought our house. I know you’ll love the units. Or you can stay with us until you’re comfortable being on your own again – Delilah won’t mind. We have a spare room. Hell, we have three spare rooms.”

Abby didn’t know what to say. She was taken off guard by the offer. She was shaken.

There’s nothing here for you.

Oh, but there was.

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