Page 67 of Still Beating

I jump to my feet and sprint down the hallway to her dimly lit bedroom, where I find her tossing and turning, kicking at the covers, gripping the bed post between both fists behind her head.

She screams again. “No! Please, no…”

Her eyes are closed, squeezed tight, but I know she can see.

She sees all the same horrors I see when I close my eyes at night.

I rush to her bedside and cautiously slide myself onto the mattress, careful not to startle her. “Cora… Corabelle, you’re dreaming.” I slip my arm around her waist and pull her close, whispering into her ear, “Come back to me.”

She’s still writhing on the bed, her expression pained and terrified, so I try again.

“Cora…”

She whacks me across the jaw.

“Fuck,” I mutter, massaging the side of my face as Cora whips herself into a sitting position.

Cora’s eyes fly open, her chest heaving with strained breaths. “Dean? Dean… oh, my God…” She grabs my face between her hands and starts peppering kisses along my tingling jawline. “I’m so sorry. I was dreaming. I’msosorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Cora slings her arms around my neck, pulling me as close as she possibly can, and sobs against my shoulder. “Are you real?” she cries, tilting her head until her warm lips are pressed to the side of my neck.

I freeze for a moment, a shiver sweeping through me. I’m unsure of what to do or say or how to console her, but instinct takes over, and I lower her back onto the bed, cradling her in my arms as I situate myself beside her. “I’m real. You’re real. Everything’s okay, Corabelle. It was just a dream.”

Her arms are still linked around my neck and her tears are still flowing. “I feel like I need to keep touching you… it was so vivid…” Cora slides her hands up and down my back, then over my chest, much like she had done the first time I released her from her chains. “Did I hurt you?”

I shake my head, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. “I’m fine.”

“God, Dean… I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot.”

Her face is cupped between my palms in an instant as I force her eyes on mine. “You arenotan idiot. You’re the strongest fuckin’ person I know.”

Cora’s chin quivers as I swipe her stray tears away with my thumbs. “I’m not strong. I’m falling apart.”

“You’re strong as hell. Youamazeme.” How can she not see what I see? How can she not know? “Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me?”

She sniffs, still trembling, still misty-eyed and vulnerable. “I feel like it was all my fault. On top of all the flashbacks and nightmares and madness, I have this coil of guilt in the pit of my stomach. You shouldn’t have been there, Dean.” Cora sucks in a fractured breath, her leg sliding up over mine. “I shouldn’t have called you that night…”

I frown, thrown by her admission. Rattled by the absurdity of it. “That’s crazy talk. I was the one who set it in motion. That bastard asked if you were my girl and I should have fucking lied. I should have said,‘Hell fucking yes, she’s my girl’because I’d be lucky as shit to have you.”

She stares at me with the most astonished look swirling in her emerald eyes, and her lips part, her gaze slipping to my mouth for the tiniest second.

“Cora, listen to me,” I say, still holding her face in my hands, still clinging to her like it’s the very last time. “Those were the worst three weeks of my entire goddamn life and they will haunt me forever.” I swallow. “But I’m glad I was there. And I’d do it all again, a thousand times over, just to keep you from going through that shit alone. I’mgladI was there with you.”

A gasp-like whimper escapes her. I’ve never seen her look at me like this before.

I close my eyes, dropping my forehead to hers. “And don’t ask me what that means, Corabelle, because I don’t have a goddamn clue. All I know is that I’d kill that son-of-a-bitch over and over again just to keep you safe—hell, I’d kill a hundred men if I thought that would chase away your nightmares and bring you peace. And I know how fucked that sounds, trust me, Iknow, but I can’t let you go another minute feeling guilty or responsible orweak. You’re a warrior.”

Jesus Christ, I’m spouting out these raw, unfiltered truths like I’m delirious, drugged—out of my minddrunk.

But I’ve never felt more sober or clear-headed.

Orterrified.

Cora is gaping at me, speechless.

“Ah, shit… say something, Cora.” Our foreheads are still melded together, our noses touching. I feel her peppermint breath against my mouth as I close my eyes, waiting for her to tell me thatI’mthe idiot.

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