Page 110 of Still Beating

Dean takes the lead, letting out a sigh as he approaches me. “Thanks for letting me stop by. There’s some stuff I wanted to discuss with you.”

“Me, too… I was actually going to text you about grabbing coffee this weekend. But this works.” Our eyes are holding tight, making me nervous. I gulp. “Um, have a seat.”

We make our way to the couch, Dean trailing behind me and sitting farther away from me than I’d prefer. All I want to do is jump into his arms and kiss him senseless. We lock eyes again, both of us out of our element. Neither of us fully prepared to face the fallout from last week. I lower my head and we both speak at the same time.

“So, I—”

“I wanted to—”

Dean clears his throat. “You go first.”

I gather up my courage and nod, twisting on the couch so I’m facing him, one leg pulled up in front of me. I curl my fingers around my ankle as my heart thumps wildly in my chest.

Just be honest. Tell him what you want. Don’t hold back.

“I, um, just wanted to say how sorry I am for dragging you down into my dark hole for the past few weeks. Hiding you in the shadows. Keeping you at a distance. Letting you in, then pulling away. It wasn’t fair because I know you wanted more… I’ve just been so ashamed, so confused, and I haven’t been handling it right.”

I watch as his eyes float over my face, his jaw tight, his eyebrows creased. He doesn’t say anything, so I keep going.

“I talked to Mandy today. She invited me out for ice cream—our traditional birthday cone at the park. We had a long talk, and I think it’s going to be okay.” I scoot closer to him on the couch, reaching for his hand. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’m hopeful Mandy will accept everything one day. She even said she was talking to this new guy and there’s a spark, and maybe someday we can both move on and—”

“Cora, I’m leaving.”

His words flip me upside down and I drop his hand. “What?”

A look of pain stretches across Dean’s face as he blows out a hard breath. “A job transfer opened up and I’m taking it.”

Disbelief rips through me, cinching my chest. I turn away from him, pulling my lips between my teeth as I try to process what he’s telling me. The heart that was beating so rapidly from nerves, from excitement, from the possibility of actuallybeingwith the man I love, is now cracking in two. “Oh.” It’s hardly a whisper, barely a breath. “Where are you going?”

He pauses, glancing away. “Bloomington.”

I feel blindsided. “That’s three hours away.”

“I know.”

“When?” I’m almost afraid to ask.

Dean replies, still gazing off over my shoulder, “A week. I start next Monday… I’m putting my townhouse up for rent and getting an apartment until I’m settled.”

A small sob breaks through, despite my best efforts to hold it in. Dean takes my hand, but I pull away as if he struck me with a match. “Please don’t try to comfort me when you’re the one breaking my heart.” I rise from the couch and walk over to the bay window, desperate to get away. Desperate to hide how much he’s hurting me.

“Corabelle…”

I whip around, finding him standing a few feet behind me. “Don’t call me that.”

“Listen to me,” he says, taking cautious steps toward me, like I’m either going to bite or run. “This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make and I’m doing it because I know, Iknow, it’s for the best. I’ve tried so hard to be the one who pulls you through this, but I’m only holding you down. I’m preventing you from healing.”

“That’s bullshit. You’ve been the only thing keeping me going.”

Dean paces forward, closing the gap, and reaches out his hands to cup my face. “You’re right. And that’s why I have to go.” He lowers one of his hands until it’s pressed up against my splintered heart. “Youneed to keep yourself going. It’s the only way.”

I pull back sharply. “You don’t get to touch me anymore.”

He looks wounded, like I just shoved a blade through his chest. “Cora, please. Try to understand.”

“Oh, I understand. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear.” My legs are trembling as I wipe away the fallen tears. “You’ve had your fun, and now you’re moving on.”

His face flashes with fury.

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