Page 15 of Desire and Revenge

Sebastian begins to undo the buttons on the front of my dress till it gapes open, and I help him shrug it off my body.

He stares down at my half-naked form, clad only in a matching black lingerie set, and I see the desire in his half-lidded eyes. He drags down the cups of my bra till my breasts arerevealed, and then he pinches one nipple, causing it to harden to a stiff point.

I moan as pleasure shoots down my body.

Sebastian bends his head to suck my breast into his mouth, tongue flicking over the peaks and drawing circles around my areola. My back bows and a sigh slips from my mouth.

I don’t realize he’s sliding my panties off till I feel cold air against my pussy. I shiver, spreading my legs for him. That’s when I hear the sound of a zipper sliding down. The sound fills the room, loud and inescapable, and I can’t help but wonder if there’s anywhere else I could be—anywhere but here.

I shut my eyes tightly when his mouth crashes against mine, rough and demanding, the force of it sending a jolt through me. Then I feel him at my entrance, poised to push into me.

When he finally does, the stretch is sharp, almost foreign, like my body is resisting something it should have welcomed by now. It’s supposed to feel good, I know that much. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself enjoy this—not when every part of me feels detached and distant.

Meanwhile, it’s clear he’s feeling the exact opposite.

“Damn it,” he groans, fully buried inside me, his hands possessive as they cup my breast, fingers digging into my skin. “You feel so good, Sofia.”

His voice drips with satisfaction, but his words only drive the wedge deeper between us. Because while he’s lost in the pleasure, I’m sinking further into a place where I can’t reach him. Where he doesn’t exist.

His hips begin to pump into me, and my fingers curl into the sheets at my side, holding on, all the pleasure from earlier fizzling away as I sink deeper and deeper into my head.

I want him to keep touching me, to kiss me more, to whisper dirty things into my ear. Yet, something feels fundamentally wrong about it.

It’s as if I’m betraying the one person I shouldn’t even be thinking about while lying here with my husband. The desire clashes with a deep sense of guilt, making everything feel disturbingly misplaced.

“Do you like what I’m doing, baby?”

“Yes,” I whisper, trying to put some feeling into my voice, “it feels so good.”

I just want him to be done already.

“Open your eyes, Sofia, look at me,” Sebastian whispers, his voice strained with a mix of longing and frustration.

I want to. I want to enjoy this, to feel what I’m supposed to feel when I’m in bed with my husband. I know I should be able to, because Sebastian isn’t doing anything wrong, at least not as far as I can tell. So why doesn’t this feel right? Why am I wishing he were someone else, wishing I weresomewhereelse?

“Sofia,” he demands, his voice cracking just slightly, a thin layer of frustration seeping in. “Look at me. I need to see you. I need to know you’re here with me, not stuck in your own head.”

My chest tightens, and still, I stubbornly keep my eyes closed. I can’t give him that connection. I just can’t. Not now.

“I don’t want to,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper, the truth slipping out before I can stop it.

Silence. The kind that’s heavy and thick, hanging between us like a storm waiting to break. I can almost feel the disappointment radiating off him, sharp and suffocating.

“Of course, you don’t,” he mutters bitterly, his voice lowering to a harsh whisper. “God forbid you give me anything. Can’t even look me in the eye, can you? What is it, Sofia? Am I that unbearable to you?”

I flinch at his words, but I don’t respond. I can’t.

“Fine,” he spits, his tone now sharper, his patience wearing thin. “I wouldn’t want to spoil this moment for myself anyway. I’m used to it by now, being with someone who’s only halfwayhere. But at least do me a favor, would you? Just open your damn eyes, even if you feel nothing.Pretend, Sofia. Pretend you care, even if it’s a lie.”

His words cut deep, and the weight of his frustration presses harder on my chest, making it harder to breathe. Still, I don’t move. I don’t speak. Because he’s right—I can’t pretend.

Another silence follows, and then he sighs against my neck, the warmth of his breath making me shiver. “Okay,” he finally says, his voice a mix of sadness and acceptance.

“Okay.”

Sebastian grunts and increases the speed of his thrusts. Finally, he stills, lets out a groan, and then I feel his hot release inside of me. I don’t move till I hear him use the bathroom and leave.

I take a quick but thorough shower and then slip out of the room, heart racing. Anticipation and excitement war inside of me as I hurry to the greenhouse.

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