Page 43 of Peacock Me Like a Hurricane

“Talia did; is that a problem?”

“No. I had experience with Sari—as you know—and Lily.”

“I thought of something that no one knows. People will be hurt if it ever gets spoken beyond this garden, though.” She just looks back at me, waiting. “My relationship with Blondie had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Talia. I probably don’t have to say much more.”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying. I, um, I have a secret I can share. The only person I ever told this to was Rhea because she wouldn’t make fun of me.”

Dropping her head, she lets out a breath. “When the beast got hard to control, I did something bad by accident. I was doing better with caging Her by the time you met me—which isn’t saying a lot, I know—but before that, I was with Mercury. He wanted to take pictures because he’s a big voyeur. He had the idea to take pics of me changing and then of her. I let him, andit led to where you’d think it would because I was naked. She was prowling, he was frisky, and I bit him. I didn’tintendfor it to be a skin piercing bite—because Mercury doesn’t do that even with Lily—but I slipped. Lily was mad because she thought I’d violated her lines.”

He blinks at me, and I look down, shrugging in embarrassment. “I was really upset about it. I didn’t say anything because Lily, um, never talked about it again. I was in a fragile place because of other things, so the reaction hit me hard. Mercury hardly comes around anymore. I didn’t tell them how much that hurt, and it was a small thing that got bigger and bigger. I even had his tattoo removed because it made me sad and ashamed. That, combined with all the other stuff, made me decide that I had to figure out what to do about her. So, I came to find you. It’s a big secret that I don’t talk about. It actually still hurts to talk about it.”

“I don’t see the embarrassment here, pet. You didn’t have control and he provoked the beast. There’s a little blame in both columns.”

“You wouldn’t see it, because it’s a slice of Deli insanity. It really upset me when Mercury disappeared. He was a playmate, but also a friend. I felt like I screwed up big time, but I couldn’t say anything to resolve it. I sort of maybe expected them to notice that I wasn’t looking for him. Once I let it go for so long, it got ridiculous.”

“Sort of like the thing with Rhea and me that I didn’t know about.”

“Yeah, sort of. I never told Sari, and she’s dying to fix it. If Rhea tells her to get back in with her, I’ll never hear the end of it. I was unintentionally passive aggressive.”

“I’m at a loss when people don’t say what’s on their minds. I live at the other end of the spectrum.”

I turn my body gently and look at the house behind us, an inscrutable expression on my face. The full moon highlights my bloody clothes and makes the open wound under my arm visible. It glistens with six inches of white that can only be exposed rib. Finally, I turn back to her and lapse into silence. I’m not sure where to go from here, especially with her still in the fucking shroud.

“Let me help you, please. You’re hurt.” She pokes one hand out as if reaching for me.

“No.” She shrinks back in—almost tighter—and I curse myself. “N-not yet.”

Nodding silently, she gnaws on her lips.

I pause. “Unless I pass out, then you can keep me alive. I’m still bleeding; I can feel it.”

She eyes me from above the line of the blanket again as if assessing the wounds she can see in severity and figuring out how much time before something turns threatening.

“That’s it, then? All our cards are finally on the table?”

She keeps watching me, then murmurs, “Yes.”

“If I kick it, you can keep me alive—no more, no less. Talia will know and send Damien to get me.” I give her a serious look, knowing that she’s past focusing on anything but the blood now.

“Okay.” Her eyes darken and she shrinks smaller yet again.

“Well, short of telling you Company stuff or giving you a Taurus hit list, I’m remarkably tame. One will get you killed, the other gets you disgusted with me, so we won’t go there. Are you sure I haven’t bored you in the sack? It’s not one of those ‘hiding the truth to spare feelings’ gigs, is it?”

Shaking her head emphatically—a feat for someone who’s practically in a burka—she murmurs, “No.”

“You still love me, even with all this stuff in my head and heart?” I look down at my bruised, broken, and bloody self.

“Yes. Very much.”

“You won’t forget we’ve mated or not want to claim me as a mate, will you?”

“I’ve wanted everyone to know for a while. I love you and I would have shouted it to everyone if it hadn’t been for worrying about hurting Rhea. I’m not worried about that now. And I could never forget I mated with you, baby. I can feel you inside me all the time. I’ve never done some of the things we do before.”

“I appreciate the clarification, Sandwich. By the way, don’t you even think about repudiating me—ever. We’re mated; we’re going to sodding stay mated.”

“It never crossed my mind. I’m not on the boat with that, even for the exes.”

“I don’t like it because of the damage it can do to the split parties. I’m of the mind that if a relationship ends—even if it’s badly—there should be an effort to look fondly on the good times. But—and there’s a big but—sometimes that’s impossible because of the behavior of both parties. You do what you need to do when you need to do it, love. I won’t judge you.” I lean back against the chair, the blood loss getting to me. “You’re sure you love me? You’re positive?”

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