Page 44 of Final Vendetta

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in a hard swallow as his gaze traced over my face. From my eyes. To my nose. Then settling on my lips. He cupped my cheek, his touch gentle at first before becoming harsh. Powerful. Controlling.

A shadow crossed over his eyes, the heat I’d missed since the accident slowly returning.

But it disappeared in a heartbeat, and he quickly dropped his hold on me, as if reminding himself who he was.

Or, more accurately, who hewantedto be.

“I told you. Gideon Saint is dead.” He spun from me, storming toward the front door.

But I wasn’t going to let him avoid this conversation. Wasn’t going to let him keep pretending to be someone I knew in my heart he wasn’t.

“He’s not dead.” I grabbed his hand, forcing him to come to an abrupt stop. “He’s still a huge part of you.”

I swallowed down the emotions bubbling up inside of me. But I couldn’t stop. Not now that I was finally giving voice to all my thoughts and feelings.

“I get that the accident…changed you.”

“I could have lost you, Imogene.” He swallowed hard, his eyes filled with the panic he must have experienced that day. “And it would have been all my fault. I?—”

“But you didn’t lose me. I’m still here. I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think that’s what I need. You can’t pretend the past didn’t happen. Can’t pretend all those horrible things never happened. They did. I hate that they did, but it made you into the man you are today.” I erased the distance between us once more, holding his face in my firm grip to prevent him from escaping this. “I love that man. Love his light. Love his heart. And I love his darkness, too. Please… Let me love that darkness.”

He gripped my hip, his fingers digging into the skin. It ached, but I welcomed the pain. Welcomed the hurt. It was what I needed.

“Please,” I said again, his blue eyes swirling with confusion and indecision. “Give me your darkness.”

Closing my eyes, I inched my lips toward his, bracing for him to capture my mouth in a heated kiss like he once did.

Instead, he released me, practically pushing me away.

“I am not that person anymore,” he said, his tone harsh, his expression strained with the anger he struggled to hide. “If you don’t want to be with me like this, then I guess you don’t want to be with me at all.”

His words caught me off guard, and I stared at him, bewildered, struggling to come up with something to say. Something to make him see what I did.

But before I could, he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him with a finality I hadn’t anticipated.

Chapter Nineteen

Gideon

My tires squealed as I peeled out of the driveway of the bungalow and sped down the tranquil street. With no destination in mind, I drove aimlessly at first, my mind a jumbled mess of frustration and confusion. How could Imogene say that? How could shewantthat?

After everything I’d done, everything I’d become as Gideon Saint, how could she possibly miss him?

I thought she’d be glad to have Samuel back, the man who once dreamed of simple, beautiful things, like building a life with her. Having a family together. Being one of those couples who was still madly in love, even when we were old and gray. I was trying to give her that, trying to be that man again.

I thought it was what she wanted. What she deserved.

Wasn’t it?

After driving around for a while, I pulled into the parking lot of a dive bar on the edge of town. It wasn’t normally the type of place I’d frequent, but tonight it was what I needed. A place where I could disappear for a while. Where nobody gave a shit about who I was or what I’d done.

I made my way into the dimly lit room, passing a few other patrons scattered at tables or hunched over the counter. Slidingonto a worn barstool, I ordered a whiskey. The bartender didn’t ask questions, just poured and left me to my thoughts. I downed half the glass on the first swallow, but the burn did nothing to dull the ache in my chest.

What did Imogene want from me? Did she want me to lose myself in that darkness again? To become the man who’d stop at nothing to settle a score? I couldn’t do that, not for her. Not for anyone. That man nearly killed her.

A faint buzzing in my pocket pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. I fished out my phone, expecting to see Imogene’s name.

Instead, Henry’s name flashed on the screen.

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