Page 87 of Breaker

“How numb?” I ask.

“Completely blank.”

I nod as I back away. “Change, and then we’ll go to bed.”

Her eyes dart to the large bed. “We?”

Her smile makes me grin as I shut the door.

Yeah. We.

Chapter 28

Breaker

After that first nightmarewhen I was eight, I continued to dream of the blue room. Sometimes instead of room, I would dream I was drowning in an endless blue ocean, the water so cold it hurt the tip of my nose. The dreams changed every time, but the color blue was always the same.

Sometimes, I’d walk along a concrete beach, icy water lapping at my feet. I’d never seen a beach when the dreams began, only in pictures, so I didn’t know how sand felt beneath my feet. Didn’t know the smell and taste of salty air. But I knew the feel of cold concrete and that’s what the beach felt like under me. Cold. Hard. As unforgiving as the school and the landscape around it.

Sometimes the dreams would jerk me awake. Other’s I’d scream until one of my brothers woke me. Never did the endless blue change. It was always the same.

Antoinette blue.

Like Viper’s eyes. Blue flecked with green. Sometimes green, bursting with blue, seemingly changing with his every emotion.

As I lie beside Cora, watching her sleep, I wonder what he’s doing. If he’s in his bed or if he’s in bed with Striker, going to him in the middle of the night like he does with me, aching to be held.

I hope he is. I hope they are watching Delilah sleep right now, like I am with Cora, making sure she feels safe and warm. Because god did we ever fuck up with her. With both of them.

I knew Cora needed a gentle touch, yet we treated Delilah so harshly, thinking we could train her similar to the way we were. That was what Fallon wanted. Control over her. For us to mold her until she was willing to do what we asked. Her affection for us brutally shaped the way Fallon shaped us.

Yet, we couldn’t do it. Not even Reaper. Even though he’s like Fallon in so many ways, he’s not as cruel. Not nearly. Not even close. Even when he tries to be. Even when he knows he needs to be to make Fallon happy and leave us alone.

I love my father. I do. I’ve seen so many sides of him that I know underneath his cruelty, he’s just a man. A man who loves deeply and uses his power in all the wrong ways. But he abused us in order to turn us into what we are. His soldiers. Killers. Ready at his command.

Until them.

They are what created the fissures in our relationship. He wanted us to watch them and keep tabs on them while Harlow gathered intel so we could slip in and take Rune down. But new cracks formed after every command, and we started breaking away from him.

I’ve always defied his orders. But Reaper, he did only once. Striker once. Viper.

God Viper.

I bury my face in her hair, missing him. We connected in some way that first day in school, and we just kept by each other’s side. At first, I thought it was to protect me since I was the youngest, but over time, I felt the shift. We both did, even if I was the only one to admit it.

We changed. He changed.

I remained too young.

He became too feral.

It took years for us to finally break the barrier he’d set in place. After the night with them, my blood crackled with energy. I needed a release, so I let him suck my dick right in front of Striker. The way he looked at us was such a turn-on; I didn’t last long before I was shooting my release into Viper’s greedy mouth.

We’ve done that a hand full of times after sharing a women, but I think we all felt how different it was that night. After that, we left and went to Viper’s room where he fucked my hand, teeth on my neck, hands roving over my chest, groans so feral and desperate I got hard all over again.

We barely got any sleep that night.

God, I miss him.

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