Page 61 of Resurrection

I cross my arms and lean my hip against the table. I will not be the first to bridge the distance between us. He isn’t raging against me leaving him in Russia. I’ll take this version of him, even if I don’t understand it.

“I asked for her,” I reply. “But I think they agreed with the hope she’d get under my skin.”

“Kim’s like a sliver.”

“Gotta dig it out, or it’ll become infected.” I stare at him, pondering my next move. “She told me about the trafficking.”

Finn’s head nod is almost imperceptible. “Course she did.”

“It’s true?”

“You doubted her?”

I swallow and shrug. Did I? Maybe not. But I hoped Kim was trying to needle me, get me away from him. Tears prick behind my eyes. I turn my gaze to the ceiling and take a deep, shuddering breath. “Years ago—”

“I’m not that guy anymore.”

A tear falls. I wipe it away and then recross my arms. “Sometimes.” I shake my head. What I’m about to say isn’t smart, but the sentiment has been playing in my mind on repeat. “Sometimes, I wish we could go back. Have a redo.”

“What would you redo?”

“I don’t know.” Another tear escapes and trickles down my face. “I don’t know.” But I do. I had too much time to think when I was trapped with the CIA. Lately it feels like the night I was stabbed was a turning point. Not everything that came after has been shit, but nothing in my life has ever felt as good as it was before.

“Did you know?” Finn’s gruff voice hauls me right into the present.

“Know what?”

“The night you were stabbed, did you know you were pregnant with my baby? Had you already decided I wasn’t fatherhood material?”

“Oh, my God.” My knees buckle, and I reach out blindly to brace my hand on the table. “Who told you?”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Finn

Color leaves her cheeks in a rush, making her washed out, too pale. My head and my heart war over whether to go to her. Before I do anything else tonight, I need the truth.

“I drank that night. Do you honestly think I would have been drinking if I was aware I was pregnant?”

I search her face, checking for any sign she might be lying. “You found out…”

“When I woke up from surgery.” Her gaze connects with mine across the divide before slipping away. “I never had the chance to tell you.”

“In the hallway, when I spoke to Charles, when he warned me off…”

“He knew, yeah. My father.” She secures a stray strand of hair into her braid. “He’s always had these misguided ideas about what’s best for me. I’m not sure he’s ever understood me.”

“Seems he still doesn’t,” I say as she brushes a few more tears from her cheeks.

I clench my hands and shove them into my pockets. My chest aches with longing, with the desire to go to her, comfort her.Touching her is a bad idea. Too much will spill out. The words are there, but they won’t help either of us.

“Tweedledum and Tweedledee are conspiring against you.”

Carys sighs and toys with the glass on the table beside her. “Yeah. I just don’t know why.”

“You understand what they’re up to?” I narrow my eyes.

She gives an unsteady laugh and points at me. “Okay. I don’t have that information either. They aren’t being honest with me.” She smooths both hands over her face. “What did you hear?”

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