Page 112 of Resurrection

“I fired her.”

I stare at her, tempted to ask why but not sure I want to get into it. The things we can’t bring ourselves to say float around us.

I shrug. “This place is as good as any. Don’t trouble yourself.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been doing research, and I can have you moved somewhere better.”

With a shake of my head, I shift the phone to my other ear. “I told you to go and be happy. Live the life we planned.”

“I can’t do that. I won’t as long as you’re in here because of me.”

“I’mthe reason I’m in here. You have no clue the shit I did before you came back into my life.”

“Sook gave me a copy of the things you pled guilty to. I realize exactly what you were up to, and I’m all out of fucks to give. You think I haven’t understood who you were this whole time? Please. Give me some fucking credit.”

A chuckle escapes me against my will. “I figured I’d be the reason his first word was fuck.”

The fire goes out of her, and a ghost of a smile crosses her lips before she whispers, “Me too.”

We stare at each other in silence. I take in every peak and valley of her face, store it away, but I can’t hold on to her image too tightly. My memory never does her justice. “You can’t keep coming here,” I say.

“How will you stop me?” Defiance flashes across her face.

“I’ll refuse to see you.”

“Are you going to do that?”

Am I? I should. I really fucking should. “How’s Lucas?”

“He’s good. On target with his developmental milestones. He’s at the hotel with Lena.”

“And Jay?”

Another brief smile. “And Jay.”

“You’re in Cape Verde now?”

“We are.”

“Long flight to be here for an hour.”

She sucks in a deep breath. Is she surprised I know the length of the flight? “Worth it.”

“It’s really not.” I lean forward and give her a taste of the thoughts raging inside me. “Every month that passes, our lives get further apart. Soon we’ll have nothing to talk about. You’ll come here so we can sit and stare at each other and remember what might have been, what we used to have.” I sit back, annoyance spilling out. “No thanks. I’ll pass.”

“That’s not true.” Her voice lacks conviction. Those whiskey eyes connect with mine, and she straightens in her chair. “I didn’t want this. I wouldneverhave agreed to this.”

“Come on, Carys. Did you think I’d let you spend years in prison while your son was out there growing up? The only thing you ever wanted was to be a mother.”

“Our son, and raising him wasn’t the only thing I wanted.”

“I understand what it means to miss a mother.”

“And that’s why I’m not incredibly fucking angry with you.”

“You’re still angry with me. But I did the right thing.”

She scoffs. “Oh yeah? This choice doesn’t seem rash and impulsive to you? Ill thought out? You’re telling me you lie awake at night thinking about howrightthis is? Fuck off.” Her voice breaks. “Don’t pretend like this situation is easy for you.”

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