Page 110 of Resurrection

Kim turns back. “A man named Zahir will call you.”

“Sook can help with whatever paperwork I need to sign. She’s with Carys right now.” I hesitate before I make my only other request. Am I being selfish or fair? I left her one other time without an explanation. I can’t do that again. “And I want to talk to Carys, alone, just once before they put me away.”

“You’re really doing this.” Kim takes a deep breath.

“I don’t know why everyone is so fucking surprised.”

“Death or jail,” she says. “Always thought you’d pick death if push came to shove.”

“Not the dilemma here, is it?” I eye her. “She’s is in trouble. I can save her. Nothin’ I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.”

With a curt nod, Kim links her hand with Lorcan’s. “We’ll make the arrangements for the swap. We gotta go, or we’ll be missed.”

Before they’ve even taken one step toward the door, Jay raises his gun. “My family.”

Her smile is sly. “We never had them. Watched them leave before picking the lock and disabling the alarm. You should tighten your security. They got a call from a new friend to go to a pool party. Completely legitimate. Sometimes,” she says, “timing is everything.”

Jay takes out his phone and dials his wife. Lorcan and Kim are out the door when Jay’s relieved laughter sounds behind me. With a sigh, I wander to the huge windows in the living room facing the ocean. The ebb and flow of the waves lull me into a mindless state. Carys and Lucas will have a good life here.

Jay calls out that he’s going to get his family. I wave over the top of my head but don’t turn. It’s easy enough to imagine Carys and Lucas here. When I close my eyes, the sun touches my face. The memory of her hand, starting at my shoulders and running along my back until she loops her arm around my waist is so vivid, so real. When I half turn, I almost expect to see her there when I open my eyes. But she’s not. We’ll never get this moment.

From my back pocket, I remove the photo of me, Lucas, and Carys I stole from the frame in Lucas’s bedroom before I left. That life already seems so long ago.

Happy. So fucking pleased with ourselves.

I trace Carys with a fingertip before I fold it, making sure the crease runs over my face, and slip it into my pocket again.

Chapter Forty

Carys

My heart pounds, and I drum my chipped nails on the metal desk. There are two windows to the right. Outside them is a hallway. People wander past, but they’re faceless, nameless, and none of them distract me long enough to forget why I’m here, what’s at stake.

Sook is supposed to be coming in with the paperwork for a deal. Anywhere in the five- to ten-year range and she thinks we should take it. Part of me wants to snatch the deal out of her hands and sign it immediately, anything to guarantee I return to Finn and Lucas someday. The other part wants to tear it up and tell them if they listed thingsIactually did, I’d be a lot happier.

Happier.What a stupid, stupid word.

We were so close. So, so close. I press my fingers into my forehead and try to block out those thoughts. That path is gone. Now I have to focus on what I can get, what I can have.

The evidence and charges they’ve piled on me are unreal. Most of it, I either don’t remember doing or didn’t do.

Even from the grave, Eric is fucking me over. I’ve been trying to pinpoint when I lost my focus, but between the miscarriagesand my renewed interest in Finn, I can’t recall the last time Iwasfocused on the business. I should have quit years ago or stepped away, done something else so this steaming pile of shit didn’t land on me.

People walk past the room in a steady stream. What is taking Sook so freaking long? There’s no clock, but I’ve been waiting for hours, haven’t I? Out of the corner of my eye, there’s a familiar movement in the hallway. The man is surrounded by bigger, broader FBI agents. This glimpse of something recognizable vanishes when I look close enough.

This time, I want the scene to be a mirage, a trick of the light. His head is turned toward Sook, but I’d know those shoulders anywhere. Pinpricks dart along my spine, and I stand, my chair scraping against the floor.

“No,” I whisper.

Where’s his gun? He shouldn’t be walking around with escorts like this. Shooting people, pulling me out of this room, the two of us fleeing together, those are things he does. Not this. He can’t be here if he isn’t fighting his way through.

When his shoulders rotate, the handcuffs become visible, and panic wells in my chest. “No.” I go toward the window.

As if he senses me, Finn turns. His gaze is shuttered, but when we make eye contact, I realize what he’s done. My stomach rolls.

“No.” I shake my head and shove my hair behind my ears.

Sook leads him away from the window, and I bang on it, trying to follow them down the hall. “Get him out of here,” I scream, my voice echoing around the room, mocking me. I rest my forehead against the cool glass, my fist banging against the window, and a sob releases.

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