Page 77 of Resurrection

“I don’t know,” I whisper. Turning toward him, I’m comforted by the steady beat of his heart in my ear. “Anytime I hear someone gave up the chance to be a mom, it makes my heart hurt. I just—I would have done anything to have a baby, to be a mom.”

He’s silent as his hand strokes my back. “Sounds as though your sister had it rough after your mother left.”

“Yeah. I can’t process it. Being beaten by your father?” His arms tighten around me. “My mom has her faults, and so doesmy dad, but they’ve been there for me. Even if I didn’t always like what they did or what they said. They’d never set out tohurtme. And my mom is… Well, she’s my mom. I love her despite everything.”

“Having a mom is important.” His voice is gruff in my ear.

My heart skips a beat at the raw emotion in such a simple sentence. Through the sliver of light peeking through the curtains, I glimpse his face. “God, I’m so stupid. I’m sorry.”

He chuckles and tugs me into a kiss. “It’s all right. It was a long time ago.” He runs his hand up my spine and fits me snug against him again. “Jay and I will find out more on Pearl tomorrow.” His lips trail along my neck. “Is it wrong that when your mom said your sister’s name, I was glad she lost her love of precious jewels when she named you? Not that I wouldn’t have loved you if you were called Ruby or Amethyst.”

I chuckle. “But? I sense a but.”

“Not sure any of them would have the same ring to them.”

“And that’s important?” I kiss his chest, the heaviness from the day fading away.

“When you’ve yelled it out as you come as much as I have over the years, it’s gotta feel right.”

“Over the years?” I laugh. “Just how many Carys’s do you know?”

“Nah.” He smirks. “That’s not it. Carys is the name of my right hand.” He holds it up and wiggles it.

I giggle, and his lips find mine in the dark. “Sounds confusing,” I murmur.

“Not as much as you’d think.” He rolls me onto my back and braces one leg between mine as he peers down at me. For a moment, he searches my face, any trace of laughter gone. “Because I always knew it was you I was thinking about.”

My heart dips to my toes. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to being this close, this connected to him. Before, I didn’t believethese emotions existed with Finn—with anyone. I told myself it was impossible. Maybe I imagined them. Wanted something that wasn’t there.

But he loves me, and I love him. And everything is perfect.

The next morning, I’ve missed four calls from Eric and a text asking me to contact him right away. The urgency is confusing and takes a moment to sink in after just waking. I roll over to Finn, but he’s gone.

Getting up, I throw on a robe to search for him. In the kitchen, he and Jay are speaking in low voices at the island, unaware of me outside the doorway eavesdropping.

“You going to tell Carys?” Jay asks.

“After yesterday? I don’t know. That guy is fucking unbelievable.”

“Who is?” I enter the open room as though I just arrived.

They turn to me in surprise. Finn’s face flares with annoyance, probably that I snuck up on them. But it passes, and I’m not sure I like the emotion in its place any better.Pity.

Leaning against the island, he runs a hand along his cheek. “You don’t want to fucking hear this.”

“Try me.” I bypass them and flip the switch on the coffee maker.

Jay and Finn exchange uneasy glances.

“Jay got a call from Demid this morning. Valeriya’s body was released and is back to Russia.” He splays his hands on the island and leans into them, focused on me across the granite expanse.

“That’s great.” The hiss of the water heating momentarily distracts me. “Who is fucking unbelievable? Surely not Demid.”

Finn searches my face. Deciding something, he circles around the island and comes to where I’m standing, pressing his side into the counter and crossing his arms. He’s close enough his body heat radiates toward me. “Valeriya was pregnant.”

I grip my phone in my hand. Those calls from Eric. “Of course she was. Of course.” Waves of shock and anger course through me. “Eric,” I say in a monotone voice. “He was the father?” Frustrations spills out of me.

All these women. All these babies. None of them mine.

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