Page 111 of Resurrection

When the door opens on the other side of the table, I’m crying so hard I can’t look at whoever has entered. My chest is caving in, and it hurts to breathe. I can’t breathe.

“Hey.” Finn tugs on me, drawing me away from the window. “Hey.”

The handcuffs clink, and I throw my arms around him, burying my face into his neck. I can’t stop crying, deep wracking sobs as I cling to him.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“Please tell me you didn’t,” I choke into his ear. “Please tell me you didn’t.” I say the words over and over, but he doesn’t respond, just nestles as close to me as he can.

“I love you so fucking much.” His gruff voice in my neck restarts the flood of tears.

“We were happy. We were gonna be happy.” The last word catches on another sob. “I don’t want us to end like this. We weren’t meant to end like this.”

“You go home today to Lucas. You grab the life we planned.”

My chin wobbles. “I’m not leaving you here. I won’t leave you here. Please don’t do this. Don’t do this, okay? Don’t do this.”

He backs away from me, and his cuffed hands cup my cheeks, his pale-blue gaze scanning me. “It’s done. It’s already done. If you’d taken their deal, he wouldn’t have known you. A boy,” his voice cracks, “needs his mother.” He brushes my tears with his thumbs and kisses my forehead. “Boys need their mother.”

I hold in a sob, my chin trembling as I try to keep myself together. Tears stream down my face. “I would have gotten out, eventually.” A voice niggles the back of my brain. He’s right about my relationship with Lucas. He understands from his own childhood. Still this price is too high.

“But you—” I suck in a deep, shaky breath. “The evidence they have on you.” I stare into his eyes. “You’ll never… we’ll never…” My lips won’t form the end of those sentences.

“You’ll be safe. Lucas will be safe.”

“What about you?” I cry, clinging on to him. “I can’t—I can’t—”

There’s a knock on the door, and over Finn’s shoulder, Sook comes into focus. A man in a suit enters behind her. “Time’s up,” he says.

“No.” I hang onto Finn. “There has to be something. We can’t. No. We need more time. We need more time.” The words come out broken and garbled, desperate.

His lips find my ear. “Be safe. Be happy. Raise him up to be a good man. I love you.” His voice is raw, as though even he might be on the verge of a breakdown. Then he steps back from me, and tears run in rivers against my cheeks. He stares at me, and agony coats his face. With a tortured expression, he slides his hands along my jaw as he pulls me into one last kiss.

I clutch onto him, trying to memorize the warmth of him, his scent, the way his tongue glides against mine, his palms warm on my cheeks. Banking each thing, hoping I’ve deposited enough detail for all the days to come. When he draws back, his forehead grazes mine.

“It would have never been enough,” his rough voice whispers.

This time when he steps away from me, there’s no hesitation, and when he slips out the door forever, I slide to the floor sobbing.

Chapter Forty-One

Finn

Attachments have never come easy for me. One way or another, people let you down. My father, Lorcan’s mom, Lorcan—all of them fucked me over. Saving Carys is the only time in my life when I’ve let someone down by doing therightthing. This decision feels like shit, so it’s no wonder I’ve never bothered before. Who would choose to have their heart ripped out?

When I’m called for my first visiting hour at the federal prison, I debate having them tell Carys to go home to her kid. But the only remedy to this terrible ache is likely her, even if the relief happens through a glass partition. I’m weak, so fucking weak when it comes to her. I travel to the cubicles like a man walking the gangplank.

Yeah, I’ll feel better gazing into those whiskey eyes. Then when she leaves, my chest will burn a hell of a lot worse. She can’t stay; I can’t go.

I take the seat across from her, and we scan each other in silence. A frown mars her face, and she picks up the phone. After a second, I do the same. Already a crushing tightness threatensto make talking about anything important impossible. To be sure this is as close as I will ever get to her again is like being repeatedly punched in the nuts.

“You have a bruise on your cheekbone.” Her hand clenches the receiver so hard her fingers are white.

I smirk, trying to gloss over her concern. She doesn’t need the details. “You’re not sleeping.” I graze my knuckles across the ugly darkness blooming on my cheek. “Lucas keeping you up?” Her makeup can only hide so much when I know her so well.

“I’m getting you transferred to a different prison. I have Bradley working on it.”

“What happened to Sook?”

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