Page 99 of When Stars Fall

My breath stalls. “Go back to bed, Haven,” I call out.

There’s terror in the depths of Ellie’s eyes when she looks at me. I shift so Anna can’t get down the hall without going through me first. My sister wouldn’t hurt Haven on purpose, but I’m not gambling with my daughter’s safety. Anna is capable of scaring grown-ups. Seeing what she can be like when she’s high at the tender age of nine might be too much to bear.

“Mom!” Haven says with a touch of panic.

“I’m here, honey,” Ellie says. “Do what your dad says, okay?”

“That’s her?” Anna tips her head in the direction of the hallway. A sheen of sweat coats her forehead. “She’d probably like to meet her aunt, right? Haven, Aunt Anna is here. I’d love to meet you, sweet girl.”

Haven comes out of the darkness of the hallway and into the light. My heart contracts so hard I worry it’ll stop. She inherited my stubborn streak.

“Haven.” My tone is a warning to her, to Anna.

“You look sick.” She stares at Anna, curiosity and fear mixing on her face.

Anna probably hasn’t showered in weeks, and her eyes are wild. I scan the room again for weapons. From looking at her, she could be on a high or a low. Hard to believe I’m out of practice.

“You’re like your mother.” Anna turns her hateful expression toward Ellie. “Full of judgment.”

“She’s nine.” Ellie’s tone is sharp. “And she’s right. You look awful.”

“Mommy.” Jamal comes around the corner of the stairs, wiping his bleary, sleepy eyes. I scoop him into my arms, and he tucks his head under my chin, snuggling in. He reaches out for Ellie and calls her name.

“She’s not his mother!” Anna storms over to me, yanking Jamal from my arms. Jamal wails, trying to scramble back. This isn’t the first time he’s been in this position, hungry for stability and torn from it.

“Anna.” I offer Jamal my hand as he cries and screams. “Can we talk about this in the morning, please? You’re scaring Jamal. You’re not thinking clearly.” I glance at Ellie, and I’m about to take a chance. I don’t want Anna in here while people are sleeping. “You can have Ellie’s trailer to yourself. In the morning, we’ll talk about Jamal, about you, about getting both of you back to LA. Okay?”

“Her trailer?” Anna eyes Ellie. “Queen Ellie is okay with that?”

“Yeah.” Ellie scrapes her hair into a loose ponytail and lets it fall. Her expression isn’t happy, but she’ll understand why I’ve suggested it. The local hotels are full with the crew for the movie. Giving her the other trailer is the best, safest option for everyone. “I need to get a few things before you go over. Wyatt?” She nods toward Haven.

“Yeah. I got it.” I’m still a barrier between Anna and Haven. My daughter’s tiny form is rooted to the hallway entrance. No matter what I have to do, Anna won’t be allowed to touch her.

Nikki follows Ellie out, probably to get her things as well. Anna steals from me, from stores, from anyone she can. She wouldn’t hesitate to take items from Ellie or Ellie’s family.

Jamal’s wails have turned into whimpers, but he’s still straining toward me. His desire to escape Anna hurts my heart. Would this have been my life if Ellie had told me about Haven, and I hadn’t gotten clean? There were times I was this far gone, this out of my head. An overwhelming urge to apologize to Haven draws me to her. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tug her into my side.

Ellie and Nikki return with small suitcases clutched in their hands. “It’s all yours, Anna,” Ellie says.

Anna heads toward the trailer door, Jamal still in her arms.

“Jamal should stay here.” I drop my arm from Haven. “His things are here. He’s used to being here.”

“He needs to be with his mom.” She sniffs.

God, she’s a mess. Not sure how anyone looked me in the eye when I was this bad. “Tomorrow. As soon as you wake up, come knock. It’s late. He needs his sleep. You know what he gets like.” Appealing to her motherly instincts is a gamble.

Reluctantly, she passes Jamal to me. She gives him a kiss, but he tries to get away, clawing at my shoulders.

“It’ll be better in the morning,” I say. Not always. Maybe Camila will be here by then.

Anna runs a hand through her stringy, greasy, midnight-colored hair. She sniffs and grabs a small bag by the door. When she leaves the trailer, the cold winter air rushes in. She isn’t wearing a coat. I shake my head. High as a kite. She must not be able to feel the bitter wind at all.

“I’m sorry,” I say to everyone in the room. Stacy hasn’t said a word the entire time I’ve been here. She must be shell-shocked.

“That’s Jamal’s mom?” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “How’s he turning out okay? That was awful.”

I cradle Jamal closer to my chest. His life isn’t easy with her constant mood swings, periods of absence, and drug use.

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