Page 98 of When Stars Fall

“I’ll help pay for it.”

“Do you truly believe you’re better?” Nikki zips her coat. “That you’ll always be better?”

“Truthfully? I won’t ever be better.” The gum in my pocket rattles. “The minute I convince myself I’m fixed, I take risks and chances I shouldn’t. So for the rest of my life, I’m an addict. Each morning when I wake up, I choose Haven. I choose Ellie. I don’t choose the bottom of a bottle of pills or alcohol.”

“You seem sincere.” Nikki’s pale eyes are serious.

“I am. I’ve never meant anything more.”

“Why is it so cold here?” She tugs her hat onto her head and glances at me one last time before smiling.

“Canada, eh?” I use a thick Canadian accent. “The movie’s supposed to be set around Christmas . . . I guess that means there has to be snow.”

“Next time you make my sister do a movie with you, can it be in a better location?”

“I like it here.” That’s actually true. The only drawback is the layers Ellie wears.Layers. A valid point. Maybe a beach next time.

“Let me know when I can come back.” Nikki closes the door behind her.

The couch calls to me and I sink into it with a sigh. When Ellie emerges from the bathroom, her face is devoid of color. With a frown, I get up and close the distance between us. “Are you okay? Are you sick? I’ll talk to James and get things rearranged if you’re ill.”

“You going to hold my hair back if I throw up?” Ellie’s dark eyes connect with mine. Her lips quirk up.

“All day long if that’s what you need.” I envelop her in a hug. “I’ll talk to him and come back.”

She wraps her arms around me and sighs. When I try to leave, she tightens her embrace. Her face is buried in my chest. My hands rise on her back as she sucks in a deep breath.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Wyatt.”

“I gotta talk to you too.”

Both of our phones buzz in unison on the kitchen table. Ellie glances up at me and lets me go to cross the room. If it’s possible, she gets paler. “Anna’s on set?” She throws on her jacket. “She’s in your trailer. Nikki sent an SOS for help.”

“Holy fuck.” I grab my coat.

Ellie clatters out the door, and I leave my coat undone, running past her. There’s no way I’m letting Ellie in there before me.Well, Rick. You did a shitty-ass job on security.

I burst through the door to find Anna storming around the trailer, screaming for Jamal. His wails come from his bedroom upstairs, but she’s too out of it to notice the stairs to the next floor. Nikki and Stacy trail behind her, asking her to calm down, take a seat, wait for me.

“Anna.” None of them realize I’ve entered.

“Where’s Jamal?” She turns wide eyes to me. “He should be at your house. Why is he here? Why’d you bring himhere?”

“Anna.” I keep my hands up, my voice measured. I scan the area to make sure she isn’t near anything she could use to do serious damage to me or anyone else. “You left him, and I went to get him. We’ve done all ofthisbefore.”

“You calling me a bad mother? Are you saying I do this all the time? I love my kid.” She raises her face to the ceiling. “Jamal! Jamal, baby. Come to Mommy.”

“I don’t think he should see you like this.” Ellie’s measured voice causes me to whirl around.

Anna’s eyes narrow. “You broke my brother. Broke him. How has he possibly forgiven you?”

“We’re working on forgiving each other.” Ellie stares at Anna. “That’s what family does.”

“Not my family.” Bitterness seeps out of her. “Isn’t that right, Wyatt? We just take and take and take from each other. You’re not taking my kid anymore. When I leave here, we’re going to go somewhere far away. You’ll never see Jamal again.”

My heart thump-thumps at the suggestion. She’s repeatedly made this threat. So far, she hasn’t followed through. She encouraged me to go after Ellie, but Anna’s never had to face the notion of Ellie as more important than her and Jamal. Haven tipped the scales. An unspoken truth. Anna is family, but so is Haven, and by extension, as my daughter’s mother, so is Ellie. Even if I didn’t love her, that’s the truth.

“Mom,” Haven calls for Ellie from the hallway.

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