Page 95 of When Stars Fall

“Tonight, yeah.” I swing open the door. “I’ll be back.”

Once I’m in my trailer, I shed my layers as fast as I can. My place is warmer than Wyatt’s. He must find mine tiny and stifling compared to his. Must be why we’re at his more often than here. A thin sheen of sweat breaks out on my forehead. Stress is taking its toll on my body. No temperature regulation, and I’m queasy.

On cue, my stomach rolls at the thought of making out with Wyatt again in front of a gaggle of crew members. A perfectly terrible night. Nikki will be here, so there’s zero chance of a repeat performance up against the wall of a trailer when shooting is done.

The kettle is boiling for tea when there’s a knock on the trailer door. Wyatt pokes his head in. “The kids here?” Without waiting for a reply, he steps in.

“No, they’re in yours. Haven says our trailer is no fun.” I pour the boiling water into a cup. I stare at the tea bag floating to the surface before raising the cup toward Wyatt, questioning. Inviting him to be here without the kids is a no-no. But we’ve been getting along so well, it’s hard to remember he can’t be trusted.

“Sure.” An easy grin spreads across his face. “I take it Stacy is with them?”

I shoot him an annoyed look. This parenting thing isn’t new to me, and I’ve never been the irresponsible one. The kids move between the trailers with ease, but they’re always supervised. With a spoon, I mix milk and sugar into his tea.

“Thanks for being so good with Jamal.” Wyatt slides into the bench seat of my kitchen table.

“Whatever I might think about your sister, her behavior and these circumstances aren’t his fault. He’s a great kid. Happy. Listens pretty well. Cuddly.” At night, if I’m around, Jamal presses his tiny face into the crook of my neck as I rock him and sing. He loves it. He might not be the only one. I place a hand to my lower abdomen. “She really has no idea who the father is?”

Wyatt shrugs and takes his cup of tea from me. “Says she doesn’t, but I’m not so sure. I’ve never pressed her on it.” He sighs. “But I might ask again. Probably should.” He takes a sip of his tea and winces.

“More milk?” I bring the container over and pour another dollop into his cup.

“Thanks.” The barest hint of a smile touches his lips. “You remembered.”

“Some people are hard to forget.” I return the milk to the fridge, trying not to dwell on what I’ve said. Shouldn’t have, even if it’s true. Wyatt’s focus burns a hole in my back. “What makes you think Anna knows who the father is?”

He takes a long gulp of his tea before speaking. “When she came off her last bender, we had a long talk about you, Haven, what it meant to me that I hadn’t known about her for so long. How much I wish I’d had a choice.”

“I can’t keep apologizing for what I did, Wyatt. It takes us in circles.” When I turn to face him, I rest my hip against the counter.

“I know.” He nods, and there’s no animosity in his expression. “I’ve been trying to remember what we said to each other the day you left. But it won’t play. You didn’t tell me about Haven, but I can’t remember everything we said to each other. The next day I realized what an ass I’d been. The biggest ass. Bits and pieces of our fight came back. What Icanremember, I shouldn’t have said.”

“It was a long time ago.” My heart flutters.

“It was, but how I behaved that day changed everything. Would you have told me if I’d stayed?”

I bite my lip, searching for an honest answer. “Only if you agreed to try rehab. Whether you were successful wouldn’t have mattered. I wanted you to try. To be sure you were capable of wanting what I wanted. What Haven and I needed.”

“I’ve thought about it a lot, and there’s no way to be sure what I would have done if you’d told me. Would I have gone? Even if I did, would one stint in rehab have been enough? You were always looking after me. Not sure it would have occurred to me you might need help sometimes too.”

There’s a knock on the trailer door, and the director’s assistant pops his head in. “Ellie.” He glances around until he spots me. “Oh, hey, Wyatt.” He gives Wyatt the universal head tip. “Ellie, they need you in hair and makeup. We’re trying to get back on schedule for the lighting tonight.”

Wyatt and I were finally getting somewhere. I suppress a sigh and drain my tea. “Okay.” From the couch, I gather my winter clothes. The door clicks closed, and the director’s assistant is gone.

Wyatt appears beside me, swoops my hat off the couch, and sticks it on my head. When we make eye contact, his grin fades. One of his hands slides behind my neck. “A little practice before our scene tonight?” His voice rumbles through his chest, low, seductive.

Giving in would be so easy. If I didn’t have to worry about Haven’s safety and security, I’d have jumped into his arms long ago. I’d sacrifice my sanity, but I won’t risk hers. “There are two things wedged between us. One is your drinking or your lying—one of those. The other is your sister’s living situation.”

“Then what? You’ll be with me?” Wyatt’s focus is locked on me. “You’ll give me a chance?”

Someone has to relent or we’ll never move forward. The last two weeks with Jamal here, we’ve been more like a family than I ever could have hoped for. We have a chance to change our future. Deep down, I believe we want the same things.

“If it wasn’t for Haven, I would never have left you. Would have followed you to the ends of the earth. I loved you with everything I had in me. I would try again, see whether we can be good for each other. But I cannot do that if I’ll be putting Haven in any danger because of your drinking or your sister’s violence and addiction.”

He presses his lips to my forehead. “You mean that?” he murmurs.

“If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be late.” I frame his face with my hands. “I’ve been honest. You need to be honest too.”

He searches my expression before stepping back and thrusting his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I close the door behind me, hoping he takes my words to heart.

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