Page 72 of When Stars Fall

“Why aren’t you?” Sweat trickles down my back. Turning, I realize the fire has tentacles peeking out of the cavern, shooting up the mantle.

Ellie’s eyes widen, and she strides to the kitchen and throws open a door by the stove. She grabs the fire extinguisher and hurries to my side.

“No.” I rest my hand on top of her arm. “Just a sec.” I leave her to search Isaac’s room. With the drawers open, I remove anything I can find that reminds me of him. My arms are overflowing when I re-enter the living room.

“Wyatt.” Ellie shakes her head. “No, don’t do that. You’ll regret doing it.”

“Like hell I will.” I toss everything into the fire. “He’s gone, Ellie. He left us. Don’t need his shit lying around anymore.” The photos on top of the pile curl and smoke.

“Wyatt.” She sets the fire extinguisher beside her feet. A thin sheen of sweat coats her face when she drags me into a hug. “Wyatt,” she murmurs against my ear. “I want you to come to my set with me.”

She’s overreacting and worrying more than she should. I’m fine here, and she’s only a plane ride away whenever I want to see her.

“You need to come to set with me. I know you’re supposed to start shooting in a couple weeks here in LA, but I can’t keep flying home on the spur of the moment. Chris is being kind to me because he knows you, he likes you, and he understands about Isaac. But I can’t keep doing this. I’m costing people money. I can’t—no one will hire me if I keep running to you.”

“Then stop. Stay here with me. Quit the movie. I can look after you.” I tug her closer. “We can spend all our time together.”

“Do you remember calling me last night?”

“I got locked out of my phone.” I gesture to the ground behind her. When I rub my forehead, my hand dampens with sweat.

“You pulled up the carpet?” She searches beyond where our Turkish memento had lain to the smashed phone. “And you broke your phone.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll buy a new one.”

She steps away from me and picks up the fire extinguisher. In one fluid movement, Ellie sweeps the spray across the fireplace, dousing the flames.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” My brain stalls while she smothers my blazing creation. “I wasn’t done.” The smoke gets to me, and I cough.

“Have you gone to see Tanvi?” she shouts over the noise of the fire extinguisher.

“Not lately, no.” I grit my teeth.

“I bet you’ve had lots of time for Anna, though, right?” She tosses the fire extinguisher onto the couch. The fireplace is a mess behind her, but the flames are gone.

Watching her almost makes me laugh. She’s so tiny and angry that I want to wrap her in my arms and carry her away. “She’s my sister.” I shrug. “She understands how I feel right now.”

“She does, does she?” Ellie’s dark eyes blaze. “She knows what it’s like to watch her best friend overdose? I wonder why that is? What does that say about her?”

“You mean what does that say aboutme?” My anger rises. Her judgmental tone grates on me. She’s silent, with her arms crossed. “That’s bullshit. How could you say that to me?”

Her expression collapses from angry to pained. She clasps a hand over her mouth, muffling a sob, and a few tears slide down her face.

“Ellie.” My anger is gone in an instant. Her tears are always my undoing. “Don’t cry. Ellie, come on. I’m sorry, okay? I don’t remember calling you. Don’t have a clue what I said. My head . . . it’s like I have a train in there. I need to take something and then I’ll be back to myself.”

“I don’t know who you are anymore,” Ellie whispers into my chest.

“You don’t mean that.” I smooth her hair. Panic toys at the edge of my sanity. “You don’t mean that.”

There’s a hitch in her breathing before she says, “Maybe you should talk to someone.”

I let go of her to grab the fire extinguisher. The flames are starting again. Fire can be so persistent. The last thing I need is for the house to burn. Pointing the extinguisher at the fire, I smother the new flames. “I talk to people all the time.”

“You’re not talking, not really. Not about anything that matters. You’re stuffing it down, covering whatever you’re feeling with more and more drugs.”

Her words wash over me in a haze. The pounding in my head is winning out. I leave her and go to the master en suite bathroom to search the cabinets. Nothing left. Not a single pill in any bottle. I stride out past her to Isaac’s en suite and check in the bathroom drawer where he used to keep his stash.Success. An old container of pills. I toss the bottle from hand to hand before popping the top off and taking a Xanax. Clutching the last of my sanity in my hand, I return to Ellie.

She faces the charred remnants of Isaac’s memory, arms crossed against her middle. She doesn’t look in my direction and tears are streaming down her face. The fire is out, so there’s no need for her to be crying.

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