Page 61 of When Stars Fall

“Right.” She reaches up and yanks her ponytail tighter. “I guess I need to consider that too.”

“What does that mean?”

“Anna and I didn’t get along. I—I can’t put . . . I don’t want to be in a situation where someone might get hurt.”

“There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’d let her hurt you, Ellie.”

“You’re not always there! Has Anna hurt Tanvi? Hurt Kyle? Or you? Obviously you can’t control Anna. I’m not blaming you, but it’s not realistic to say she wouldn’t hurt someone else—me . . . or anyone.”

When Anna is using heavily, she’s difficult to control, and she’s unpredictable. I’ve never asked Anna how she treated Jamal before he came to live with me, but I’ve done everything I can to maintain distance between them when she’s using. “You keep tossing up roadblocks, Ellie. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

She throws up her hands. “These are real concerns. My safety,” she hesitates before continuing, “and the safety of anyone else in that house is compromised by Anna being there.”

“You want me to kick my sister and her son out on the street? Turn my back on them? Come on, Ellie. Years ago, you would have been proud of me for helping her.” She won’t look at me. “Even if she wasn’t my sister, there’s a child involved. I have to help her. I have to.”

Ellie starts to say something and then snaps her mouth shut. “It’s just another thing I have to consider. I mean, where do you see this going? You and me? What’s the five-year or ten-year plan?”

“I want you. To live with you, marry you, start a family with you. Us. The way I always wish we’d ended up.”

Tears pool in her eyes, and she shakes her head.

“What?” I step closer. “That’s surprising?”

“I’m not sure what to do. This is so impossibly complicated.”

“Say yes, and we can work everything else out. Nothing here is so complicated we can’t fix it together.” I’m standing in front of her now.Look up, Ellie. Look up.

She shakes her head again and refuses to meet my eyes. “I should take you back to the hotel.”

“Ellie.”

“I just need some space,” she blurts out.

“I’m only here for another day. After tomorrow, you get all the space you ever wanted.”

“God, Wyatt. I never wanted any space. I didn’t. I wanted you to come for me. I wanted you to get help. I wanted the house and the kids and the life. I wanted all of it.” She closes her eyes and presses her hands to her face. Tears spill unchecked, but she still won’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, drawing her close and wrapping my arms around her. “I’m so damned sorry.”

“And then you show up here with no plan, no idea how we’ll work. You don’t tell me about Anna and Jamal. It makes me wonder what else you’re keeping from me.” She draws back and her dark eyes are accusing. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

“Why do you think there’s something else?” Now I’m the one avoiding eye contact.

“Probably because I wasn’t told about the first thing you were hiding.” She laughs, but it holds no humor. “We’re not doing this anymore. I can’t. It’s exhausting. I need a break.” She doesn’t wait for my answer. Snatching her keys off the island, she goes through the door and to the garage.

I follow her, head spinning. Something isn’t adding up. Younger Ellie would have been pissed at me, but not like this. Nothing like this. She opens her car door, and I grab her arm. “What aren’tyoutelling me, Ellie? Something is holdingyouback. I don’t think it’s the drugs, the fame—not even Anna. It’s something else. I can’t figure out what it is.”

She swallows. Over her shoulder, she says, “That doesn’t seem like enough to you? All of those are a problem. Every single one. Combined, they seem like a sign to me.” Shrugging off my hand, she slides into the car and starts it without another word.

Reluctantly, I go to the passenger side and duck in. The drive to my hotel is silent. I stare out into the darkness, sure I’m missing something. I replay conversation after conversation, but I can’t crack the mystery.

“What time tomorrow?” I ask when I can’t take the silence anymore. I’m going to need a new stress ball at this rate. Possibly a whole case. She doesn’t respond. That’s fine. I’ll wait her out. When we pull up to the hotel entrance, I don’t get out of the car. “Time?” I repeat.

“We’re done, Wyatt.” Her jaw tightens.

“We’re not done, Ellie.”

She turns her body toward me, anger written across her face. “You don’t get to decide that.”

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