Page 47 of When Stars Fall

“Seems like a good word.”

I’ve never thought of my mother as being on Wyatt’s side, and maybe that’s not what this is either. Maybe she’s digging at the same point as Wyatt. There is a difference between happy and content. But I’m terrified of what Wyatt and I will have to wade through to have any chance at happiness again. “Should I tell him about Haven?”

“I can’t decide that for you.” She consults her teacup, as though it has all the answers. “If it was me, I’d wait a day or two. The risk, of course, is twofold. Someone else could expose you—so many people on the island are aware she’s his. And the second problem is that the longer you wait, the more likely he is to be Wyatt-level angry.”

Wyatt-level angry. Been a while since I’ve had to consider that.

“But it’s not my fault. I tried to talk to him before leaving, and he wouldn’t listen. Mom, the things he said to me that day.” I shake my head. “After Haven was born, I went back to try to talk. He wasn’t capable of being a good father or partner. When he didn’t remember, I decided he couldn’t know. Inviting that version of him into my life was a bad idea.”

Her expression softens. “I’m aware of the choices you made, honey. I’m warning you Wyatt might not process it through your eyes. He’s missed almost ten years with her. It’s a lot. He’s her father, and you’ve tried twice in ten years to tell him.”

“Mom!” Anxiety creeps across my chest. “You’re not helping.”

“This is preparation for how he’s going to view it. I don’t disagree with how you’ve handled your situation. Given the lifestyle Wyatt was leading, you did your best to protect Haven and keep her safe.” My mother’s blue eyes are filled with sympathy. “I realize how hard it was for you to give him up.”

My secret shame is how much I resented Haven for the first few months. If she didn’t exist, I would have been with Wyatt. But I made the choice to keep her, knowing what it might mean. Deep down, I was sure Wyatt would cave. He’d seek me out. He’d get help. I didn’t expect it to take him ten years. The way he loved me—I didn’t believe there was anything bigger, more intense than that. I was wrong.

“I want you to understand that if you do tell him, it might not be sunshine and roses with a happily-ever-after.” She drains the last of her tea and crosses to put it in the sink beside me.

“He’s decided she’s Nikki’s daughter with a deadbeat guy.”

“Yes, Nikki told me. That’s what you’ve wanted the rest of the world to believe. Why wouldn’t he?”

“I guess I thought that once he saw her, he might recognize the parts of himself in her that I see so clearly.”

“Oh, honey. You have toknowto look. That’s doubly true if you’re a man.” She gives me a wink.

“What does Dad think?”

“Oh, in your father’s eyes, you and Nikki can do no wrong. He’d walk through fire for you both.”

We’ve always had a strong father-daughter relationship. “Haven should have a chance to experience that relationship with Wyatt.”

My mother doesn’t say anything; she just looks at me with her wise eyes.

“If he seems okay today and tomorrow, I’ll tell him.”

She pats me on the arm. “Good girl.”

Chapter Nineteen

Ellie

Ten Years Ago

Wyatt and Isaac are passed out in lounge chairs on the other side of my parents’ pool. We went out last night and partied a little too hard. Par for the course lately. The two of them seem to be in a battle to see who can be more wasted. Calshae and Nikki found their outlandish behavior hilarious, but I can’t help feeling as though we’re on a collision course.

Beside me, my mother flicks through a magazine. We’re here for a long weekend. Wyatt’s idea. He wanted to get Isaac away from LA for a while. His father’s death and the dried-up acting roles have finally led Isaac to agree to a production company. The only problem is that neither of them are in the proper headspace to build the company with good people. Instead, I’m the one trying to do the hiring, and I don’t have a freaking clue what I’m doing.

“When you first brought him home,” my mother says as she flips a page, “I could see what he was. I’ve seen it before. But I wasn’t worried about you because I thought you were smart enough to stay out of it.”

I’m glad for my sunglasses when she stops turning pages to stare at me. The sheer number of tabloid stories about Wyatt and Isaac meant their exploits were bound to get back to my mother. She doesn’t follow gossip, but Bermuda is small, and lots of other people would be happy to fill her in on her eldest daughter’s colorful, celebrity-filled party life.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, wouldn’t you? No matter what you get yourself into, I would always help you get out.”

“I’m fine.” Despite the life Wyatt, Isaac, and Anna lead, the only thing I have ever craved is Wyatt—his company, his attention, his touch.

“Buttheyaren’t. And if you truly are fine, then you’re lucky.” She tips her chin at Wyatt and Isaac. “The path they are on doesn’t lead anywhere good. You understand that.”

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