Page 28 of When Stars Fall

“Oh, Wyatt,” she says with a sigh. “You haven’t even considered it?” She picks up her fork and stabs her food. The salmon doesn’t deserve that. “You’re here, asking me to turn my back on everything I’ve built the last ten years, and you haven’t even thought of how we’d work? None of the practicalities?”

“I want you, Ellie,” I say. “How our relationship functions isn’t a deal breaker. I’ll do anything to make us work. The guy sitting across from you isn’t the jackass who was high on drugs and dug in his heels. Told you to accept him as he was or leave.” Whenever I remember the day Ellie came home with those rehab pamphlets and started talking about the benefits of getting clean and sober, I want to punch some sense into myself. Caught off guard, I’d raged out of control.

God, that fight.I never believed she’d leave. How could she leave me? She loved me so much.God knows I loved her too much.

“And I’m not the same person,” she says.

“I’m not asking you to regress to who we were. I want us to build something new.” I take a mouthful of my food and sit back in my chair, crossing my arms. “Tell me any of your other relationships have set your heart on fire the way ours did.”

“Not everything has to be big and bright to be real.”

“All the best things are.”

“That’s not true.” She points her fork at me. “That’s not true. Love always burns bright at first, but at some point, it doesn’t have the same intensity.”

The thought of her being in love with anyone else bothers me. I’m a hypocrite. After Ellie, I told a couple women I dated that I loved them. Never loved anyone with the power with which I loved her. None of the other relationships burned big enough, hot enough, bright enough to match our connection.

“We were together for three years. Are you telling me you didn’t love me as much at the end as you did at the beginning?” I know the answer. Even if she left me, even if I don’t understand why she changed so much so quickly, Iknowthe answer.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Answer the question.”

She sits back and crosses her arms.

Why won’t she admit that what we had was special? I want to grab her, sweep away the plates, and show her love doesn’t have to burn out. Sometimes it just burns for years, even when there’s nothing to stoke the fire.

We’re not over, have never truly been over. The embers are still there, and this week, I’ll prove it.

Chapter Twelve

Ellie

Present Day

Every fiber of my being wants to go over, straddle him, and pretend ten years haven’t passed. Long-dormant parts of me flutter to life, beating their wings, begging to be let out. My body aches in remembrance of how good we were together. But I can’t. Haven is my priority, not Wyatt or my aching body.

“There’s nothing wrong with stable.” I toy with my food, pushing pieces of salmon around my plate. If I’m honest with myself, I would have never left Wyatt if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. I’d be over in his arms right now. I’d be living in LA in our house.

Or I’d be dead. Or he’d be dead.

“There’ll be no drama with us this time.” His elbows are on the table, and his sincerity kills me.

“You enjoy the chaos that surrounds our industry. We’re not a good fit.”

“Compromise. Not new to you, I’m sure.” He’s being a smug bastard. I compromised all the time when we were together. He glances at his plate and his practically untouched food. “I can’t prove to you I’m worth the risk if you won’t see me.”

“You’ve been gone for ten years.Ten years. You’ve been here for forty-eight hours. Did you expect me to drop everything? Pick up where we left off? Even if I had, you haven’t considered how a relationship would work between us.” I sigh and pick up my plate, no longer hungry.

In the kitchen, I tuck away ingredients and wipe the counters. Collapsing in a flood of tears on my bed is appealing. I want to be sure of Wyatt’s state of mind. Last time we were together, I let myself get sucked into a lifestyle I almost couldn’t handle. If Isaac hadn’t overdosed, I have no idea how much further I would have slid in a bid to please Wyatt. Back then if I loved him, I had to love his addictions too. They were so intertwined I had no choice. He says he’s clean, but it’s been two days. What if he’s not? So many of his old habits are bad for me and very bad for Haven.

Wyatt doesn’t follow me, which is surprising. I bang around the kitchen, washing and putting things away. When he wanders in, his plate is empty. I can’t believe he ate everything. Men are a mystery.

He’s silent while he puts his plate in the dishwasher and picks up a dish towel to dry the remaining dishes. When they’re done, he slings the damp cloth over his shoulder. He crosses his arms and gives me one of his intense stares. He’s about to go on the offensive.

Brace yourself.

“Five more days. I want all of them.”

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