Page 116 of When Stars Fall

“Anna,” Camila says. “Are you ready to listen?”

Anna glares at her and then turns her stare on me. “You can’t have him. I don’t care what you offer me.”

A humorless chuckle escapes me. “It’ll be the difference between staying in his life and not being there at all. It should be an easy choice.”

She tries to pull her hand out from Camila’s grasp but can’t manage it without throwing a fit. Pursing her lips, she rolls her eyes.

“Go ahead, Wyatt,” Camila says.

“Ellie and I are taking Jamal to Bermuda with us when filming is over.”

Anna opens her mouth to protest, but Camila shoots her a look. “Listen to him,” she says.

“Ellie would like you to come too. We think it would be good for you to get away from the negative influences you’ve had in LA. We’ll get you a house or apartment within walking distance of us.”

“You want me to go to the island?” Anna’s eyes narrow.

“That’s what I said.”

“I’ll live there with Jamal?”

“That’s not quite what I said.” I hold up a hand. “Jamal will live with us. You’ll be able to visit him whenever you want, as long as you’re clean and sober. No drugs in our house,ever. The kids are not able to visit you at your house,ever. Ellie’s mother is starting a new treatment center. You’ll go there until you’re dried out. Clean and sober. You’ll go there every time you relapse—without question or complaint.”

“Treatment plans don’t work.” Anna shakes her head.

“They don’t when you keep giving up, that’s true.” I shrug. “I’m proof theycanwork.”

“That was with Camila, though—”

“And clearly her methods haven’t been successful for you. So what worked for me isn’t going to work for you. Instead of ignoring the problem, we’ll have to try something else.” I take a deep breath. “I’m not giving up on you, Anna.” Taking her hand from Camila’s, I clasp both of Anna’s hands in mine. “I’m not giving up on you.” The brother in me is straining at the seams to save her.

“I don’t think I’m worth saving,” she whispers. “You’re wasting your time. Everyone would be better off.” There are tears in her eyes.

“Never.” Standing up, I yank her into a hug, and I squeeze her tight. “Never. I’m never giving up on you. We’re not better off without you. Jamal should know you, the real you.” My voice is gruff when I say, “I love you, Anna. You’re my sister. But I’m not propping you up anymore. I’m going to push you to get better. You’re gonna hate me sometimes. We’ll probably say terrible things to each other because I’m not backing off this time. Jamal deserves to have you, the best you, in his life, however long that takes.”

“I don’t want to lose my son.” Anna sobs into my chest. “I can’t lose him.”

“You don’t have to. We’re not taking him. We’ll look after him, give him stability, love him. When you’re ready, when you’re healthy, and you’re good for him, he can come home to you.”

She sobs into my chest, and I hold her tight. My heart aches. Three years ago, when she turned up with Jamal on my doorstep with Tanvi, I wasn’t any better than her. We were lucky Jamal never bothered with our drugs. It helped that by the time he was walking, I decided one of us had to be clean and sober. Anna couldn’t hold it together, so I had to.

“I’m not sure I can do this.” Her words are garbled.

“One day at a time,” I murmur into her hair. “We’re all just going to take it one day at a time.”

“I think this is a good direction, Anna.” Over my sister’s head, Camila winks at me. “It’s a fresh start in a new place.”

Anna sniffs and wipes her nose with the heel of her hand as she steps back from me. I pass her the tissue box off the table.

“Ellie hates me,” Anna says. “I know she does.”

Ellie doesn’t like Anna when she’s been using, but I don’t think Ellie has ever met sober Anna. “When you let the person I know you can be shine through, she’ll love you too. I know she will.”

“Why would Ellie agree to this? You’d have done anything to keep her and to keep your family.”

I sink back into my chair, and Anna does the same. “She loves me, Anna, and I love you,” I say in a rusty voice. Saying those words out loud to someone else is cathartic somehow, like they’re finally true. “She understands what it’s like to be a mom, to love a child. She doesn’t want to take that from you.”

“I’m not a good mom.” Her voice catches, and another sob threatens to escape. “But I do love him. I really do.”

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