Page 115 of When Stars Fall

The asshole in me wants to finish this conversation quickly. I’ll say whatever the hell I want to say—no more holding back. Her addiction almost killed my daughter. But the brother in me worries this might be the last conversation I have with my sister. Anna came out of the womb a fiery, directionless mess. Even still, I love her. We’ve had each other’s backs, one way or another, for a long time now.

I text Camila to say that everything is set, and then I take a seat at the back of the round table. From here, I can see the door, but when Camila and Anna get here, it’ll make storming out in a rage impossible. That may be for the best, depending on what Anna says. Seeing this conversation through is the only way I get the future I want, and the one Jamal deserves.

Camila knocks and then enters without waiting for a reply. Anna follows. They take off their winter gear before joining me at the table. My hands are clasped in front of me. They’re at war over whether to strangle Anna or hug her.

My sister quakes as though she can’t control her own body, and she pulls the sleeves of her shirt over her fingertips. Perched on a chair, she’s ready to dart away at any moment.

“I’m so sorry,” Anna whispers. “Can I—I want to talk to Ellie too. I need to tell her how sorry I am.”

With my jaw clenched, I stare at my clasped hands. A “sorry” isn’t going to cut it this time. There aren’t enough words in the world to balance out what happened to Haven.

“Wyatt, do you need a minute?” Camila asks.

“I’m not playing around anymore, Anna.” With a last squeeze of my hands, I release them.

“Never thought you were playing before.” She sneaks a sideways glance at me.

“Really?” My anger is barely in check. “Come on. For three years now, we’ve been doing this dance. You screw up, and I clean up the mess.”

“I don’t do it on purpose,” Anna says.

I bob my head in agreement. Spoken like an addict. The language is one I understand. “I think part of you didn’t believe you needed to get clean once you came to live with me. I got clean enough for the both of us.”

Anna breaks our eye contact and tugs on the sleeves of her shirt again.

“Anna,” Camila prompts.

“Jamal was safe with you.”

“Was he safe with you?”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you I’m a shitty mom? Is that what you want to hear?”

Ah, there it is. That’s the Anna I’ve been expecting. Her words are blistering with fire.

“Anna,” Camila says again.

“What? He can speak to me however he wants, but I can’t say anything back?”

“Yeah,” I say. “That’s exactly what’s happening today. I’m not pussyfooting around you anymore. You—your addiction, your irresponsibility—almost got my daughter killed.”

“I didn’t mean for Haven to get hurt. It was an accident.”

“It’s always an accident with you, isn’t it? You’re never to blame for anything.”

“Wyatt,” Camila breathes out my name in a rush.

This conversation could so easily spiral out of control. Other times we’ve talked, I avoided anything confrontational. Pissing Anna off wasn’t worth the consequences. I wanted Anna to stay. Jamal needed to live with me, and I couldn’t take over full-time custody. He needed a mother, even if she wasn’t a good one. The situation and my life are different now with Ellie, Haven, and the baby. For the first time, I can offer him the stability Anna can’t.

“Look.” Camila holds up her hands. “You both need to calm down. Wyatt, you mentioned you had a plan.”

“I do,” I say.

“A plan,” Anna scoffs. “As if I don’t understand what that is. You can’t have him. I’ll fight to the death for Jamal. Tomydeath.”

“At this point, I have to do what’s right for my family and what’s right for Jamal. I’m going to make you an offer. If you ask me, it’s pretty fucking generous considering what happened. You can thank Ellie for it later. It’s more than I would have offered without her input.”

Camila places her hand on mine. She takes one of Anna’s too, stilling her jiggling motion.

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