Page 103 of When Stars Fall

She feathers kisses meant to comfort across my skin, and her fingers graze my nipple. I cover her hand with mine, stilling her exploration. I can’t concentrate when her hands roam my body. Sinking into her and forgetting the rest of the world exists is too tempting.

“I see the signs in Anna. If I take Jamal, she might end up dead.”

“That’s what you think?” Her hand flattens on my chest.

“There’s a thin cord named Jamal keeping Anna from going too far. Without him, Anna won’t have a reason to stop.” Now that I’m clean and sober, I recognize the reasonable logic, but I understand how an addict thinks. The addict in me knows how Anna will respond. This isn’t a leap.

Without Jamal, any reason she may have to get clean is gone. Pain and regret can so easily be buried under a pile of pills, hard drugs, and alcohol. I did the same with Kabir, with Isaac, and then I did it again when Ellie left. The spiral and I are well acquainted.

“What if you talk to her? Ask her to go to rehab or whatever else she needs to do?”

“You think we haven’t had those conversations?”

Her shoulders rise and fall almost imperceptibly. “Maybe she didn’t believe you meant it.”

The day Ellie left me I didn’t mean my threat. I didn’t want her to leave. The cracks in my chest that were starting to seal over begin to re-open.

She squeezes me tight as though sensing the shift in my mood.

My alarm sounds again. Kissing the top of her head, I slide out of bed. At the edge, I sit for a minute with my back to her, feet pressed into the floor.

“Is Anna a deal breaker?” The trick will be totellAnna I’m taking Jamal. The consequences of that conversation make my heart stutter. There’s a light touch on my shoulder, but I don’t look at her. I can’t. There’s nothing I won’t give up to keep her, Haven, and this baby.

“My priority is our kids. I love you, and I’ll probably love you until the day I die. That’llneverchange.” Her hand withdraws from my back. “Our kids deserve to grow up happy and safe.”

My skin tingles from her touch, and I don’t want to leave this room. I can’t face the idea of sending my sister to her grave.

Over my shoulder, I say, “I’ll talk to Anna tonight. I’ve gotta work through how to do this. If I can stop her from hurting herself, I need to do that. You and the kids are my family, but so is she.”

“If Nikki were in the same position, I’d move heaven and earth to save her. What can we do if she doesn’t want the kind of help she needs?”

I need to make her want our help. Seems simple. Except I understand how impossible it is. Right about now, a little divine intervention would be amazing.

“I’ll see you on set in a couple hours.” Her smile is tired but genuine. “Right now, in this moment, I’m really happy.”

“Me too.” But there’s a dark cloud swirling. No matter how I approach Anna, the outcome is clear. What I do next, I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ellie

Present Day

Before my own call time, there’s a knock on Wyatt’s trailer door. It’s still early, and no one else is awake yet. Cautiously, I peer out the window.

Please don’t let it be Anna.

A tall woman, bundled to the hilt, is outside, bouncing up and down on her toes, and her face is almost completely obscured by a scarf.

Nothing about her is familiar. After security let us down last night, I’m wary. “Who’s there?”

“Camila Silva. Wyatt asked me to come. I’m an addiction specialist. Anna’s here somewhere?”

I open the door and usher her out of the cold. As each layer is removed, I get a clearer picture of the woman who saved Wyatt from himself. She’s older than I expected, but attractive with her shoulder-length dark hair, dark eyes, light brown skin, and muscular stature. She must work out a lot.

With the winter clothes gone, she thrusts out her hand. “Camila. It’s nice to meet you in person, Ellie. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Last night, Wyatt admitted Camila wasn’t sure he should come after me. I’m a trigger. That part of the discussion hadn’t been fun. My presence, my existence, might be harmful. No one wants to hear that.

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