Page 102 of When Stars Fall

The crease in Wyatt’s brow melts when he realizes my answer to “why now?” is to give him my heart, even though he’s had it all along. His lips meld with mine, deepening the kiss, seeking more. Our bodies are pressed so closely together I think I hear his heart beating. But it’s mine—wild, erratic, alive.

He works his way from my lips to my neck and then nips at my ear. He whispers, “I love you, Ellie. Forever. Always. Nothing’s ever coming between us again.”

I sigh, wrapping my arms around his back, and I let myself get swept away by the current of our love.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Wyatt

Present Day

The full moon shines inside the trailer, illuminating Ellie while we chat. I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as Ellie’s face as she speaks to me, really opens up, for the first time in ten years. We’ve been winding our way through the lost years for most of the night. God, I was a fool to let her go. Never again.Neveragain. Doesn’t matter what I have to do.

“Wyatt.” She presses her face into my shoulder.

“Still here.” I kiss the top of her head. Inhaling her shampoo, I want to smother her with love. If my heart was this full the first time around, the drugs must have dulled it. A damn tragedy in itself. I get Ellie. I get Haven. A fresh start with our new baby, and a chance to be a present, involved father right from the beginning.

“I should warn you about something, or ask you to . . .” She purses her lips and seems to be searching for her words. “Watch out for me.” She rotates to stare at the ceiling.

“What’s that mean?” I prop my head on my hand.

“When I had Haven, I got sick. Kinda scary-sick.” She glances at me. “My mom told me the same thing may never happen again, but if it does . . .”

“What happened?” I lace our fingers together. Ellie was sick enough to scare herself and her mother last time, and I wasn’t there to help her, to protect her.

“Postpartum depression. Quite bad.” She mirrors my pose, her head in her hand. She focuses on our intertwined fingers. “I hope I never feel that way again. It was terrible. I thought I was the worst mother ever. My mom says postpartum is common and nothing to be ashamed of, but it leveled me. I’ve never felt that low—didn’t realize those feelings existed. A maze I couldn’t find my way out of.”

When we were together, she was the rock, the tough one. In any crisis, she was the person I looked to, the one I leaned on. That I wasn’t there for her when she needed it most makes my chest ache.

“Is that why you came to see me in LA after Haven was born?”

She’s quiet for so long I’m not sure she’s going to answer. “I was mixed up, and I needed you to be someone you weren’t capable of being.”

“I can be that person now. You won’t be alone.” I tip her chin so she’s forced to look at me. “I won’t let you down.”

“I believe you.” Tears pool in her eyes and she gives a curt nod.

On the bedside table, my alarm buzzes. I hit the snooze before glancing out the window. The sun hasn’t come up yet. A damn early call time when I would give anything to stay in bed. I’m afraid to leave this room, with this bubble we’ve created over the last few hours. It’s delicate, and anything could pop it and put me—us—right back where we were before.

“Wyatt.” Her hand lands on my arm.

I turn and fold her into me. “Something else?” I squeeze her tight. If I’m a little late, no one will get too upset.

“Anna.” She skims my shoulder with her lips. “I love you, and I want to be with you. For us to be a family. But the way she behaved yesterday . . . the way she is now, I don’t want her around our kids.” She presses her cheek against my bare chest. “I don’t even want her around her own kid.”

I rub my face with my free hand and draw Ellie against me. One of her legs settles over mine. “My situation with Anna is complicated.”

“But that doesn’t mean we do nothing. That poor kid. And Haven—she doesn’t understand either.”

“What are you suggesting?” Part of me has known for a long time where Anna and I were headed. I haven’t been able to face that road.

“Custody. You and I go after custody of Jamal.”

Having her here, talking about these things with her, is good and terrible. Anna’s my baby sister. “Do you want to know why I haven’t done anything yet?” She glances up at me, but she doesn’t say anything. “Because Anna’s rock bottom comes after she’s lost him. To me, her rock bottom looks a lot like Isaac’s spiral. I can’t be responsible for someone’s death again.”

“Oh, Wyatt. What happened to Isaac wasn’t your fault. There were things going on with him we couldn’t understand because he didn’t let us.”

“But he lived with me. We were best friends from the time we were six until the day he died. If anyone should have known he was headed that way, it was me.”

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