Page 17 of Devoted to the Dragon

My finger traces the edge of a white ripple that cuts through the sodalite stone's deep navy and warm purple.Should I add it for truth or the amethyst sitting next to it for peace?

I grab both from the shelves cut into the cave’s walls and add them to the circle of gems lining the floor’s chalked center circle. I’ve amassed piles of crystals and spent hours combing through Shadow Books, hoping to find something Vandera and I missed. I’ve read about stones for health, dangling charms to ward off evil, a poultice to draw infection, a hex for a human goat thief… Nothing is clearly marked “save the shifters from extinction” or “bond without a horde.”

A beam from the rising moon hits a piece of malachite, making the green sparkle like the surface of shallow water at dusk. It draws my eye again and again as I rearrange the crystals in the circle. I refuse to look directly at it, but it mocks me from its place on the shelf. It’s the stone for insight, allowing what was previously suppressed to awaken. It’s also the first step in the Moon Circle used to invoke a true mating Thunder.

I blow out a steamy breath.I’m getting nowhere.

“Water,” Vandera croaks.

I turn, watching her round the last stair leading into the library of my outer nest chamber. She holds her hip, panting heavily.

“Must have water,” she croaks, pretending to faint dramatically against the stone wall.

“I regret ever telling you about the human entrance,” I grumble.

She is winded from her climb, her tank top damp with sweat and her patchwork skirt clinging to her. My dragon’s nest is not easily accessible. It’s a hefty hike followed by a steep climb to the hidden cave on the back side of Moon Lake. Dragons are territorial of their space, and I only allow Vandera access to the nest because of her need for the Shadow Books and crystals kept in the library. Vandera’s workshop on the estate only houses her Shadow Book, but I have amassed as many of the dragons’ grimoires as I could.

“But you did, and there are no takebacks.” She grins smugly, resting her hands under her chin to mimic an angelic pose. “And I swear one day I’ll find a flying spell or figure out how to enchant a broom.”

I laugh at her regular complaint. Try as she might, she hasn’t unlocked a magic that can mimic a dragon’s flight yet. “Did Fennik send you?”

Vandera digs around in her backpack for her water bottle, holding it triumphantly before guzzling half the jug. She wipes her mouth, then points an accusing finger at me. “No. I came because you’re officially hiding. It’s been more than a week, and you’re supposed to be leaving for the North in two days, but no one has seen you.”

I turn back to my gathered pile of stones, wishing I had a moment of divine inspiration. “I’m not hiding. I’ve gone to the trainings, but I’ve also been busy trying to find a solution to the wolf problems.”

Instead of a solution, I’m on the verge of a breakdown.It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t been able to sleep in days. Or eat really. Ever since the other night with Fennik, I’ve been unable to keep myself together. I’ve resorted to shifting so I don’t give in to him. He’s suddenly decided to be bold, and all the reasons I need to remember to keep him away seem to disappear when he’s around.

And then there is the sexy, funny, eager pup, Gunnar. He showed up and caught me completely off guard. My dragon is enamored with him, though she won’t claim him either, and I can’t seem to stop wanting to bring both of the wolves into my bed.

Why did I ever agree to take on a new guard member? Without that promise, maybe I could have withstood Gunnar’s temptation. But the two of them in my lair? I’m not that strong.

Vandera comes closer to the circle and winces. “Babes, I know you’re the expert on crystals, but whatever that is, it doesn’t look like it will work. What’re you trying to do? Solve the wolf problems all in one go?”

“That’d be nice,” I say with a slightly unhinged laugh.

Objectively speaking, the library is a disaster. Around the room, grimoires are open on the tables and scattered across the floor. The center of the room has become the kind of hoard human legends accuse dragons of having, glittering stones and jewels piled in haphazard shapes.

The tales say we amass piles of gems for wealth, and I do have that, but we actually collect them for crystal work. Odin made us from the first Valkyrie, his essence, and a powerful witch after he made the wolves to be the peoples’ protectors. Our purpose is to heal as much as we protect. But the crystals don’t seem to offer any solutions right now.

“Let’s see if we can narrow our focus and attack one problem at a time.” Vandera softly hums.

A sarcastic huff slips out. “Should we start with the omegas dying out? Or the fact that the Council seems to be turning on us even though we’re trying to help them?”

Vandera raises her hand eagerly. “Or, I know, we could start with the part where you’re ignoring the fact that your second mate arrived?” She blinks at me innocently.

“When you put it like that… it’s still all of them.” I sigh, feeling defeated.

She folds herself onto the floor beside me and squeezes my hand. “At least we’re acknowledging that they’re your mates.”

I rest my head on her shoulder, taking comfort in her herbal scent, even if she is trying to make me talk about my feelings when it’s so much easier to shift and fly. “They’re not my mates yet. That’s the problem.”

Her arm goes around my waist. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to fight yourself like you are. When I felt Alden and Brooks for the first time, I knew. No one and nothing could have gotten between us after that. But if one of their wolves had fought it… I don’t know what I would have done. This all sucks. I know I can’t solve this for you, but I wish I had answers.”

She pulls me closer, and we end up cuddled on the floor. I speak into her side, my voice muffled. “It does. I feel this immense connection and attraction to both of them, but I’m afraid. Without the full horde, I can’t complete the bond.”

“So, explain it to Fennik and Gunnar. Lay it all out there. What you know, what you don’t. Let them help you. You’re miserable trying to push them away. Why not try talking to them about it?”

Her words open a pit in my stomach. How do I tell my mates they can’t have all of me? That they may never have all of me? That I can’t offer them the safety of a bond in a time when it’s more important than ever?

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