Page 25 of Devoted to the Dragon

The wall of muscle tightens around me, his scent swelling with calming sage, almost as though he can feel my desire to flee. I suck in the scent, breathing into the hollow of his neck and trying to let his warm presence settle my nerves.

When we return to the truck, Fennik and Gunnar make a pallet in the back. I let Fennik pull me up. Gunnar unloads snacks from his bag, and I eye the spread.

“What? I told you Henry likes me, and I like snacks.” He takes a bite of a sandwich and follows it with a loud crunch of chips.

Fennik pops the back of Gunnar’s head playfully, trying to hide a grin. “Listen.”

“I can still hear. It’s either chips or my stomach.”

I laugh at Gunnar’s put-out expression. “It’s fine. I just don’t know what to say.”

Fennik leans back against the truck cab and pulls me between his legs, wrapping his arms around me. “Dragons have hordes. You’re worried you have mates who won’t come. Explain to me why it matters if they don’t.”

After a deep breath, I lay it out for them. “I’ve told you about the Thunder and what it meant to wolves. When I said it awakened an omega and that I’m not awakened, I was talking about what it means for a dragon.”

“What does it mean?” Gunnar asks around another bite.

“All dragons are female. They awaken into their omegas when all their horde mates are together. Horde contenders would?—”

“Wait!” Gunnar cuts in with a wave of a chip.“What’s a horde contender?”

“If a shifter thinks his mate is a dragon, he approaches her and asks her to play. Other wolves do the same. When the dragon senses that all her mates have gathered for courting, she chooses them by giving them a mark. That signals a horde contender, but only the contenders she accepts a bite from become her horde mates.”

“A mark like our tattoos?” Fennik guesses.

Begrudgingly, I shake my head. “No. A mate must wear the claw. Once mates have been marked as contenders through a claw mark, my dragon offers them a challenge. If they succeed, I will awaken into my omega and go into heat. I have to acceptall contenders’ mate claims before the end of the full moon for the bonds to take. Without the awakening of my omega, a bond won’t hold.”

“So, until your other mate or mates arrive, we won’t be able to bond. That’s why you’ve kept me out?” Fennik’s scent turns sour, and my stomach drops. “You thought I might be one of your mates this whole time, yet you kept your distance? Why?”

I twist in his arms, straddling his lap. “It’s dangerous. Until my dragon is ready to bond, it’s a huge risk. A failed mate bond can kill a wolf.”

Fennik studies me before his expression turns stern. “No. That isn’t the only reason. I want the truth, Randi. I deserve it after all this time.” His voice quakes like thunder, demanding an answer. Before I can give one, he keeps going. “Did it ever occur to you that I would wait? That I’m capable of controlling my wolf?” His voice is flinty, his anger vibrating between us. “Or that I have been waiting? And that together we could face it?”

My eyes sting as he holds my gaze. The urge to hide from him is strong, and even though a layer of ice cracks at the devastation on his face, I can’t help the rise of panic in my gut.He will leave. He will die. I’ll give him and Gunnar everything, and they will?—

“You should have told me, let me make a choice. You pulled away after we lost the guard. Why? When we were both so miserable?” his demanding voice drops even lower, sending a shiver down my spine.

I fidget in his lap, turning away from the censure in his eyes so I can get the words out. “The idea of living like we were mates, of giving you everything even though we couldn’t bond…” My voice cracks with my shame at my cowardice, barely a whisper between us. “I don’t know how to lose you, Fennik, and keep going. Every time I survive, but the thought of losing you, of you growing old without me while I watch. I can’t?—”

“You already have!” he says, voice so quiet and calm that I wish he had screamed.

It would be better if he shoved me off his lap. Cursed. Raged. His anger would be justified.

He doesn’t. He gives me another haunted look, leaning in to murmur in my ear, “Years, Randi… we lost years!” He sets me aside gently and hops down from the truck, hands fisted at his sides.

I watch, my stomach twisted in knots of shame, as he takes off into the forest. A moment later, his howl pierces the air.

Gunnar’s voice calls, wobbly and closer than before, “I’m coming in,” before he curls around my back.

“I really, really fucked up,” I admit, the regret so thick it feels like chalk on my tongue.

“But he’s crazy about you and he’s gonna give you a chance to fix it,” Gunnar adds, his sage scent rising to soothe me.

“How?” I don’t know what I can do to change time. That’s always the problem.

“I don’t think there is a right answer.” Gunnar rests his chin on my shoulder, his hands tangling with mine as he holds me. It doesn’t feel fair that he’s keeping me together when Fennik is hurting because of me. “You need to show him you’re committed. Maybe start by talking. It seems like he knows about as much as I do about how to mate a dragon.”

We stay like that, him holding me while we watch the woods. The sun sets and the stars come out. The night passes as I sit with the discomfort. The churning regret in my stomach tears me up inside.

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