Page 37 of Penalties and Proposals

“You’ve got some points there,” I agree. “I forgot to ask about it, but I will talk to Travis about it. But right now, can’t we be happy?”

Willa cocks her head to one side. “Of course we can, and I am happy for you. You’ve come miles from the guy I met and it’s been amazing getting to know you …”

“And kissing you,” I say, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to her seat on the bed in front of me. “I like doing that, too, you know.”

Willa stares at me, her expression blank save the twitch of a smile on her lips. “Stop that. I like kissing you, too, but the other night was a lot for me at once. Your ex, the offer, you brushing off the fact that my career could be in jeopardy because of Cecilia.”

“Okay, look, we can handle Cecilia. I can handle her.” I reach over and put both of my hands on her knees. “I’ll talk to her and ask her to back off. I don’t want her here as much as you don’t, and I hate that she showed up and burst our little bubble.”

“That,” Willa says, sitting up taller. “That’s also my issue. The bubble we’re in while we’re here right now. It’s like we’re at an extended adult camp for the young and the restless of hockey.”

“Adult camp …” I start to laugh, but Willa’s expression tells me to cool it. “What’s going on, Willa? Talk to me.”

“I know it shouldn’t bother me, but seeing her wearing your jersey—for your old NHL team, too—just made me feel less than.” She sighs, staring at the carpet. “I don’t know why, and obviously it’s a chat for me to have with my therapist, but it stung.”

“You are the only person I want to ever see wearing my name.” I point to the jersey on the bed beside her. “That’s why I wanted you to have this one. My jersey for the Ice Breakers. And I want to get you one for the Renegades, too.”

Willa holds up her hand. “I don’t need jerseys to make me feel good, I need you.”

She slumps slightly, and I want nothing more than to lean over and hold her close, but her demeanor is telling me to sit tight.

“Do you realize Cecilia could actually ruin things for me? I’m up for that promotion. Huge for me. Money that will allow me to not only help pull my mother out of debt, but keep her in the black until she can get on her own feet.” She stands up and starts pacing again as she speaks. “I’m not in the same position as you are, with funds saved for a rainy day.”

“But, that’s not an issue for us,” I say, wishing she’d sit back down.

“No, but it is.” She shakes her head, then looks at me. “Maybe not for you, but for me. I’ve had to pick up the pieces and start over once before, remember? Now my livelihood is being threatened again. If Cecilia chooses to rat me out, I’d not only loseAthletic Edge,but I’d also lose my reputation, and this time, I’d be blacklisted from working for who knows how long. No one wants to send a photographer out to work with athletes if she’s going to end up dating one of them at the end of the day.”

“Ooof,” I say, throwing myself into the back of the chair. “Willa, that’s a lot to be thinking about.”

“We’re being unrealistic, Noah.” She stops pacing and leans against her dresser. “This has been fun, right? Maybe it is what it is. Fun for a moment in time, then we go our separate ways.”

“What?” Her words actually shock my system. “I … I don’t like that thought at all, Willa. I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you, no matter how messed up I was. I spent a few years thinking about you, and then you show back up in front of me, here. Now, I’m getting a second chance, not only for myself and my career, but withyou. That’s got to count for something, right?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m trying to figure this out, too. For one thing, if you take this contract, we’ll never see each other.”

“There’s this thing called a plane,” I try to joke, but it’s not well-timed.

“Read the room, Noah. Of course I know we can travel to each other, but how long will that last?” She is sassy, and even though it does kind of turn me on, I’m also aware I’m the cause of it. “My schedule, if I get the job, will be to go where I’m needed, and that won’t be all the places you are, right?”

“I hear you,” I say, standing and walking over so I’m directly in front of her. “But, I don’t like it. I don’t want that. Not now.I’m comfortable in a lot of places. On the ice. I’m comfortable at a press event, talking to the masses. These days, I’m comfortable in my skin and a big part of that is because I’m sober. But when I’m with you, everything goes out the window. All the zen. The calm. The peace. The anger. The energy. It’s like being in a vacuum where it’s only you, and you alone that I can see.”

Willa’s eyes are wet as she drags them to meet mine. “I’m sorry, but I’m just not sure I see a clear path forward for us, and that scares me, Noah.”

“You don’t think if we’re serious wewillbe able to make this work?”

“I’d like to hope we could,” she says, taking my hand as a tear slides down her cheek. “You know, you said to me that you never wanted to let go of my hand. Ever. Remember when you said that?”

Gripping her hand, I pull her close to me, nodding. “I do.”

“Last night, when you let go of my hand and walked away to front the media, it felt big to me. Bigger than I probably should be putting weight on, but it didn’t feel good. Like a sign of things to come.”

“Willa …” I go to wrap my arm around her waist, but she steps away, taking the warmth of her hand with her.

“I think we need to stop for a minute and think, Noah. I want to have a clear head so I can wrap up my assignments here, and I need to focus on my mom and trying to get a loan.”

“We can do that together,” I murmur, reaching out for her. But she shakes her head.

“I think I want to be alone for a bit, and I think you need to be alone so you can make the choices you want to make for yourself.” She shoves her hands in her pockets. “Just a few weeks ago, we were not on each other’s radar. I kinda hated you.”

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