Page 36 of The Psychopath Next Door

‘Emma got involved with someone else,’ I said.

‘No way.’

‘Yeah. A neighbour, in fact. The guy who lived a few doors down. Michael.Mike.’ I realised that I wasn’t telling this story properly. ‘She didn’t sleep with him – she swears she didn’t, anyway. It was an emotional affair. God, I hate that term. Lots of intense feelings, anyway.’

Fiona waited patiently for me to go on.

‘I think that was even worse. Maybe. I mean, at least I don’t have images of her naked with him to haunt me, of the two of them in bed. But they had a “special connection”.’ I made air quotes with my fingers.

Fiona shook her head. ‘How did you find out?’

‘There was a party on our street and I saw them talking to each other. I could just tell from the way they were looking at each other. The way they kept touching each other’s arms. At one point he reached over and pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. A really intimate gesture, you know? Later, when she was in the bath, I checked her phone. She had her WhatsApp locked with an extra layer of security, and I confronted her. Asked to see her messages. That’s when she told me what had been going on.’

‘Shit. How did it feel?’

‘Like someone had put my guts in a spin dryer. Like my world had cracked apart. All those awful, overwhelming emotions ... I’m sure you’ve been through similar yourself. We’ve all had our hearts beaten up a few times, haven’t we?’

Her eyes went far away for a few moments before she nodded.

‘Then we had all the long conversations. The tears and the arguments. She said it was because I was distant, that I put all my energy into the shop and my “stupid records”, that we had become co-parents rather than friends or lovers. I was almost embarrassed when we started seeing the therapist, because it was all so unoriginal.

‘We decided it was something we could get over, but only if she broke all contact with Mike, and to do that we needed to move. So here we are.’

Fiona swirled the wine in her glass. ‘I bet you’re tempted to check her messages every now and then, aren’t you? Just to make sure she’s not still in touch with him.’

I must have looked alarmed because she said, ‘Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about whatIwould do. Ignore me. I guess I’m not as trusting as you.’

It hadn’t even occurred to me that Emma might still be in touch with Mike. She wouldn’t be. Would she?

‘I need to go home. My bed is calling.’ She stood up, and I stood too. The conversations about first Tommy and then Mike had well and truly killed the mood from earlier. Now I felt flat and depressed.

‘Need a hug?’

She pulled me into an embrace before I could respond. Her body was surprisingly cool to the touch but it still felt nice. I closed my eyes, and the image of Fiona and me kissing entered my head again.

I pulled away quickly, flustered, hot with self-loathing. I looked at Fiona, wondering if she’d noticed, if she could tell what I’d been picturing, half expecting to see amusement, or maybe even horror. But she looked serious.

‘You deserve better,’ she said before walking away. ‘Let’s hope Emma has learned to appreciate what she’s got.’

12

Rose was drawn to the taxidermied animals, just as Fiona had known she would be – especially the dogs. There was a collie, a bulldog, a greyhound – just their heads – attached to the wall, like hunting trophies in a country house. They stared out from the display cabinet, eyes glazed, impervious to all the little kids who ran around shrieking and leaving finger marks on the glass.

‘What do you think?’ Fiona asked.

‘It’s kind of ... beautiful?’ Rose replied.

Dog heads on a wall. Not gross. Or weird, or scary.Beautiful.

That’s my girl, Fiona thought.

‘She’smy favourite,’ Fiona said, gesturing to the wolf at the centre of the display. The head was so much larger than the surrounding dogs’. ‘What big teeth she has.’

‘She looks a bit like Albie and Eric’s dogs.’

Fiona scoffed. ‘Those German shepherds? They’re pussycats compared to this lady. Top of the food chain, the wolf. Well, almost.’

‘Apart from humans, you mean?’

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