Page 19 of The Psychopath Next Door

‘I like it. After the Taylor Swift song?’

Fiona looked at me blankly. ‘Taylor . . . ?’

‘You’ve never heard of Taylor Swift? She’s the biggest pop star on the planet.’

‘Oh, yes, of course I’ve heard of her. I just don’t know that song.’ She seemed flustered – and I could feel Rose looking at me disapprovingly.

‘My dad always does this. Shames people for their music knowledge.’

‘No I don’t!’

‘It’s fine,’ Fiona said. ‘We can’t all be hip and cool in our middle age.’

Was there an edge to her voice? A trace of sarcasm? Also – middle age? I was only forty-three and Fiona certainly wasn’t middle-aged.

‘Are you going to ask him?’ Rose said.

‘Ask me what?’

Fiona smiled, any trace of annoyance vanishing. ‘I was going to make a suggestion. You and Emma are both at work Tuesday to Friday, aren’t you? Rose told me that Dylan usually has to stay home to watch her, and that you were thinking of signing her up for a holiday club.’

‘Which I really don’t want to go to,’ said Rose. ‘It’s so lame.’

‘It’s really not lame,’ I said, irritated that this word had popped up again. The club was a local scheme, run by the council, that put on activities for tweens: sports, team-building, video games, volunteering in the community. I had thought it sounded ideal for Rose. It would stop her moping around the house complaining of being bored, and it meant Dylan wouldn’t be stuck at home looking after her. ‘The alternative is having to come and hang out at the shop with me.’

Rose groaned.

‘There is another alternative,’ said Fiona. ‘I could watch her for you. I don’t start my new job until September so I’m at a loose end, and I’d be very happy to take Rose under my wing for a few weeks. And, before you ask, I wouldn’t want any money.’

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘You’re offering free babysitting?’

Rose folded her arms. ‘I amnota baby.’

‘Sorry. Childminding.’

Rose narrowed her eyes. Did she disapprove of ‘child’ now too?

‘It’s just a word, Rose.’

‘Whatever you want to call it,’ Fiona said, jumping in, ‘I’m offering my services. It would be my pleasure, and I’d make iteducational and healthy. We can go on trips, go for walks in the park, look round museums.’

‘Play with Karma,’ said Rose.

‘Absolutely. Karma is going to be a big part of it.’ Fiona smiled.

‘Please, Dad,’ said Rose. ‘I really don’t want to go to the holiday club. I want to do stuff with Fiona. It will save you money too. You won’t have to pay for the stupid club.’

That was true. It was relatively cheap for what it was, but it was still a substantial chunk of our income. Any savings would be welcome.

‘I know you can’t give a decision now,’ Fiona said. ‘You’ll have to ask Emma.’

‘I bet she’ll say no.’ Rose stuck out her bottom lip, just as she’d done when she was three. She might not be a baby anymore but she could act like one when she thought it would help her. ‘She never wants me to do anything I want to do.’

‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ Fiona said.

‘It isn’t,’ I said. ‘It’s just that Rose knows I’m a softer touch – don’t you, Rose?’

‘Can you call her now, at work?’ Rose asked, not smiling. ‘Please?’

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