Page 33 of The Psychopath Next Door

‘It was a relief, actually. My boss was a massive dick.’

‘Seems to be a common trait among bosses.’

‘Not you, though, I bet.’

‘He’s way too soft on his staff,’ Emma said. ‘He hires them according to their taste in music rather than how reliable they are.’

‘It’s a record shop. They need to have some kind of good taste in music – don’t you agree, Fiona?’

She put her hands up. ‘Don’t get me involved. You know I’m completely ignorant about music.’

‘I’ll make you a playlist,’ I found myself saying. ‘If you like.’

‘Educate me, you mean?’

‘Please don’t do that, Dad,’ said Rose. ‘It’s so cringe.’

I turned to see Emma both rolling her eyes and shaking her head at me. The double whammy of marital disgust. ‘I’m going inside to check on Dylan and then I have some work to finish off. Rose, I don’t want you staying out after dark. I know it’s the school holidays, but you still have a bedtime.’ She turned to me. ‘Can I leave you to clear up?’

‘Yeah, of course.’

‘Sorry to be unsociable, Fiona. I just need to get this work done.’

Fiona raised her glass. ‘Totally understood.’

Emma went inside and I turned to Rose. ‘I’ve got an idea. Shall the three of us have a little chess tournament?’

I went in to find the chess set, which was somewhere in my study. As I reached the top of the stairs, Emma came out of Dylan’s room. ‘How is he?’ I asked.

‘He’ll be fine. He ate too much, like he said. I think he might have caught the sun too. What are you doing?’

I explained that I was looking for the chess set.

‘Don’t go all “competitive dad” with Rose,’ she said. ‘You know how she gets when she loses games.’

Ever since she was a little girl, Rose had hated not winning. She had been known to throw snakes and ladders boards across the room, and had even broken a Switch controller after a frustrating game of Mario Kart.

‘I’m sure she’s better than me now anyway.’

I headed for my study and Emma said to my back, ‘Just try not to embarrass yourself with Fiona.’

‘What?’

‘Flirting with her in front of Rose.’

Heat entered my cheeks. ‘I wasn’t flirting.’

‘Come off it. You even offered to make her a flipping mixtape.’

‘A playlist.’

‘Oh yeah, that’s completely different.’ She folded her arms. ‘Don’t get me wrong – I’m pretty sure she’s not going to want to have an affair with you. I just think it’s embarrassing, and hypocritical.’

There were so many things I could have said. Ugly things about how I wouldn’t feel tempted to flirt if my own wife showed any interest in me. I could tell her she was being the hypocrite. But perhaps I knew there would be no coming back from either of those statements, so I managed to bite my tongue. After taking a deep breath, I said, ‘I have no interest in Fiona.’

‘All right. Whatever. I need to get this work done.’ She turned to go, then stopped. ‘Did you know her former partner died? A woman.’

‘Really?’

---