Page 68 of Shifting Gears

She’s not doing anything completely unheard of. She’s not even doing anything as outlandish as some of the sex storiesAsh and Kayla used to share with her in university. She’s just experiencing it all a little later than everyone else.

She reminds herself of that when Dani very reasonably asks if she can tell Sarah what’s been going on, and as word slowly spreads throughout town, the reminder helps to curb her usual discomfort with people knowing her business. Though she and Dani were never hiding their situation, there was always a furtive energy to it. Once it becomes public and there’s no need to dance around the truth, it feels like the physical aspect of their relationship kicks into an even higher gear—if that’s even possible.

It’s like nothing Nora has ever known before, an addictive, thrilling spiral.

It also becomes clearer than ever that while Dani seems to take absolute joy and pride in fucking Nora until she’s almost comatose, she has trouble articulating exactly what she needs for herself.

“Can I ask you something?” Nora finally asks over lunch.

Dani takes a big bite of her sandwich, waving to Naomi walking past their picnic bench on the way to her office. “Yeah, sure,” Dani says around a mouthful of meatballs and bread.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t like penetration very much,” Nora says evenly.

Dani chokes on her food. “Jeez, Nora,” she rasps once she’s cleared her lungs, taking a few gulps of water. A fiery blush is shooting up Dani’s neck, and she glances around as if she’s afraid someone is listening to them from the bushes. “That came outta left field.”

“I think open, frank conversations about sex are necessary in adult relationships,” Nora says, taking a measured sip of iced coffee. She expected Dani to be a bit uncomfortable about the discussion, but she’s always found that facing things head-on and getting them over with is the best tactic—ripping the bandage off.

Nora wants—no,needs—to make sure that Dani’s desires are being met to the same level that her own are. Dani deserves that, especially considering everything Nora has been hiding.

Nora swallows down the reliable spike of anxiety.

“I just didn’t expect to do it here,” Dani clarifies, gesturing at the picnic bench. “Now. In the middle of my meatball sub?”

Nora hadn’t really considered that. A bench in the middle of town on a Wednesday afternoon is maybe not the best place to have this conversation, but Nora has been working her way toward bringing this up for days.

“Right. Sorry,” Nora says, wincing. “I just said it the moment it came into my head. We can talk about it later, obviously.”

“No, it’s okay,” Dani says, putting her sandwich down and wiping the marinara from her fingers with a napkin. “You just surprised me. You do that a lot.”

Nora might have taken that last statement as a bad thing, but Dani is smiling. Nora can’t quite decipher her expression.

“To answer your question…it just doesn’t do much for me. It doesn’t feel bad, but it doesn’t get me anywhere?” Dani shrugs, fiddling with the foil wrapping around her sub. “I just…work differently, I think.”

Nora nods, her suspicion confirmed. “But you do you like it when I touch you in other ways? Hard pressure, friction?”

Dani blushes a little at the blunt wording, but she nods. “I’ve always just waited until after, and then…did it myself, you know?” The blush rises to tinge the tips of her ears. “Easier than explaining exactly what I need. People sometimes get upset.”

“Why would anyone get upset?”

“Because I didn’t like what they were doing. Or what I wanted was too much for them. Or because they were disappointed they couldn’t get me off,” Dani says, shrugging again. She looksterribly self-conscious. “Lots of reasons. Eventually I stopped asking.”

Nora can’t imagine not being absolutely, mind-meltingly enthusiastic about what Dani wants. Her occasional desire for roughness is never too much, never without check-ins and large accompanying doses of gentleness, and it makes Nora’s chest ache to think of Dani putting herself aside for so long.

Resting her hand lightly on top of Dani’s, Nora frowns. “If I’ve ever made you feel that way, I’m very sorry.”

“No! You haven’t at all,” Dani says quickly, grabbing for the hand Nora offered and squeezing it tight. “Honestly, you’re sort of the only person who hasn’t. It’s been amazing.”

While that makes Nora feel somewhat accomplished, she wants more for Dani. She wants to make up for the years Dani spent unsatisfied. She wants to make up for everything, her own mistakes included.

“Would you be willing to experiment a little? Find other things that work for you, too?” Nora asks.

Dani’s brow furrows, and she squeezes Nora’s hand again. “Yeah, I think so? But the way we do it is really good. I promise.”

Nora does believe her. In comparison to Dani’s past partners, who apparently either got upset that their efforts didn’t work or ignored Dani’s needs completely, any attention would seem fantastic. But Nora can do better.

Later that night, when Dani has passed out in Nora’s bed, gently snoring, Nora takes a deep dive into research. After about two hours of careful consideration, she places an order.

Chapter 16

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