Page 63 of Shifting Gears

“It’s fine; we weren’t close,” Nora says quickly.

“Does it bother you when I insult him?”

Nora laughs again, more freely this time. “No. I might even say my life is better without him. But I inherited a lot of responsibility.”

“What about your mom?”

“Is this really the best subject to be discussing right now?” Nora asks, her laughter turning nervous.

Dani props herself up on an elbow, looking down at Nora with a curious expression. “It’s pillow talk.”

“I don’t see any pillows here,” Nora mutters.

Dani doesn’t say anything else, but there’s a quietness in her expression that softens the anxiety.

“I don’t—” Nora starts, shifting under Dani and wishing there was a way to fidget that wouldn’t be too obvious. “My family isn’t a pleasant subject.” She feels exposed by Dani’s attention, and not just because she’s naked in broad daylight and probably glowing pale in the sun.

Dani nods softly, shifting so that she can tangle their fingers. She raises their joint palms to her lips and presses a kiss to the back of Nora’s hand. “Would it help if I talked about my family?”

Nora, happy to take any out she’s being given, nods quickly.

“We don’t have to talk at all,” Dani offers, her voice gentling in response to Nora’s clear skittishness. “We can just lie here together.”

But, despite her initial panic, Nora does want to know more about Dani. She wants to read Dani’s life like a textbook, diveinto her and suss out what shaped her into the person she is. “I can talk. I will. You first, though?”

Dani’s thumb rubs absently over Nora’s. “You know Sarah already. She and Aunt Carol are… They’re amazing. They’ve always taken care of me.”

The sensation of warm skin on warm skin is starting to lull Nora back into relaxation. “It’s clear how much you love them.”

“Yeah. I still miss my parents all the time, but Carol has been there for all the big things.”

Nora nods, running her fingers through Dani’s wet hair, but she freezes when Dani asks a very logical next question.

“Were you close with your mother?” Dani says, her eyes drifting closed as Nora’s nails scratch at her scalp. It’s clear that it’s something Dani doesn’t consider a big deal, but to Nora, the question has the potential to reveal truths about her childhood that she doesn’t dredge up for just anyone.

“I don’t remember,” Nora says finally, so quietly that it’s almost inaudible.

Dani’s brow furrows. She opens her eyes, peering up at Nora in obvious confusion.

“She died when I was very young.” Nora swallows thickly. She’s put these thoughts aside for a long time, and now, with just the gentlest of encouragement from Dani, they’re all spilling out. “I don’t really know much about her. My father didn’t like to talk about it. I don’t even think I have a picture of her.”

“Oh,” Dani says softly, putting her warm hand over Nora’s now-still fingers. “I’m so sorry, Nora.”

It’s said not with pity but with kindness. With sympathy and understanding. It brings a kind of relief that Nora has never really felt before, knowing that she won’t be judged—that even though Dani doesn’t have the exact same experience, she can relate. Dani isn’t saying she’s sorry to assuage herown discomfort. She’s saying it because she’s genuinely sad for Nora’s loss.

The way Dani looks at her with such simple, warm compassion loosens something Nora’s long kept tightly wound.

“My mom and I were pretty close,” Dani says, gently leading the conversation elsewhere. She settles back down onto Nora’s chest. “My dad worked a lot.”

“And your brother?”

Now it’s Dani’s turn to tense. Her back stiffens under Nora’s hands, but when Nora gives her time to collect herself, she takes a big, slow breath and her muscles ease. “Not anymore. He almost ended up with custody of me, but everyone figured Aunt Carol was the better choice.”

The termended up withis very telling, but Nora doesn’t want to interrupt Dani’s train of thought to say so.

“He was too young,” Dani says, tracing an abstract line of dark moles down Nora’s ribs. It sounds more like she’s justifying it to herself than explaining it to Nora. “Trying to raise me would have been too complicated.”

Nora gives in to her impulse to kiss the top of Dani’s head. “Would you have preferred to live with him?”

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