Page 24 of Shifting Gears

There’s something in the way Dani says it that gives Eleanor pause. She can hear complication in every syllable. Even though her curiosity burns, Eleanor doesn’t push. “So why hold yourself back?”

Dani seems relieved that Eleanor hasn’t pursued the subject of her brother—the tense line of her shoulders relaxes. “Life isn’t always about bigger things. The next big step in your career, climbing the ladder. Sometimes it’s just about being happy. And this place…it makes me happy.”

While Eleanor technically hears what Dani is saying, she’s struggling to comprehend it. Putting happiness, genuine happiness, above ambition or responsibility has never been an option in her own life. Her father drilled a sense of duty into her from the day she could understand what it meant. He valued ambition. Purpose. Since his death, she’s taken it all on as he expected her to.

“I love it here. I love my friends, my family. I have pretty much everything I need,” Dani continues. She’s found a small rock somewhere in the truck bed, and she rolls it between her fingers. “I totally respect people who can be happy living the life I left, but it just isn’t for me.”

Eleanor frowns. The remoteness, the aging infrastructure, the lack of amenities and opportunities, none of it is enough to compel Dani to leave Riverwalk. Something here outweighs it all.

“Is there no newspaper in town?”

“Nah, not anymore.” Dani throws the stone into the field, and it disappears into a sea of green. “I’ve thought about going part-time at the shop and giving freelance writing a shot, but there never seems to be a good time. Besides, Sarah needs the help. She took over just before I left for school.”

Eleanor nods, though she’s far from understanding. None of it makes sense. Dani abandoning a promising career, an upward trajectory, to disappear into an auto shop in the middle of nowhere? If Dani had continued with journalism, they might have met each other under completely different circumstances. Dani simply chose not to. And she seems completely at peace with that decision.

“It’s just hard to believe you’d waste a journalism degree on being a mechanic,” Eleanor says without thinking.

The regret is instantaneous. Dani hardly reacts, but Eleanor can hear the condescension in her own words even as she says them. The emphasis onmechanic, onwaste. It’s the kind of thing her father would say. It leaves a bitter aftertaste.

“I’m so sorry,” Eleanor says immediately. “I didn’t mean—you’re not wasting anything. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

“It’s okay,” Dani reassures her, putting a hand on Eleanor’s thigh. Eleanor notices the warmth of Dani’s palm briefly, but her guilt supersedes it.

“No, I sounded like—” Eleanor sighs, wincing. “You’ve been very kind to me, and you don’t deserve me acting like a stuck-up…”

Eleanor trails off, searching for the right word.

“Citiot?” Dani says.

Eleanor blinks slowly, turning toward Dani.

“Like an idiot, but from the city,” Dani elaborates, grinning. “Citi-ot. It’s what we call vacationers who make asses of themselves.”

“I… Yes,” Eleanor says, chuckling as the tension breaks. “Yes. I was acting like a stuck-up…citiot.”

Eleanor is fully ready to wallow in self-deprecation, but Dani doesn’t let her. She moves her hand to Eleanor’s shoulder and shakes it gently until Eleanor makes eye contact.

“Honestly, it’s okay. I know my choices seem unconventional,” Dani says. “I get it. And I wish I could do more writing, sure—but for now, I’m happy. That’s enough for me.”

In lieu of saying something even more stupid, Eleanor nods.

“Come on,” Dani says, “I’ve got some blankets in the truck. We can lay them out, and you can teach me about celestial mechanics.”

Dani shoves her hand through a tiny hatch in the truck’s back window and pulls out a pile of fabric from behind the seats, laying the mismatched squares out over the hard plastic of the truck bed. Eleanor’s surprise must show on her face because Dani laughs as she settles on her back.

“I took an astronomy elective. You should challenge your misconceptions.”

Once Eleanor has settled beside her—with an appropriate space between them, of course—Dani pulls another blanket up over their legs, and together they look at the sky.

“Where should we start?” Eleanor asks.

Dani makes a thoughtful face, pointing upward at the moon shining brightly down. “Well, I know that one.”

Eleanor laughs. The movement brings her closer to Dani, tucking her almost into Dani’s side, and when she moves away again, the distance between them seems to have shrunk.

“You know, I realize it’s scientifically impossible, but it actually looks bigger here. Brighter,” Eleanor says, looking up at the moon’s distant surface.

“That’s why we make the best moonshine.” Dani’s arms are folded behind her head, which has left a sliver of exposed skin just above the waistline of her jeans.

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