Page 180 of Priest and his Anarchist

“And you’ll tell me if you need help?” Bishop probes, a silent conversation passing between them.

Priest doesn’t answer when he rests into the sofa. “Yeah. I will.”

Lie.

I breathe in the fresh air, closing my eyes before looking out in front of me. The lights of Riverside seem brighter tonight, what with the spray of red, green, gold, and pink lights that shine from the streets. Even this far in the distance, you can smell the spice of Christmas, the snow melting on pine cones, and the warmth of eggnog.

“I wondered where you went.”

I turn to River as she kicks off her heels and makes her way to where I stand.

“I had to get out of there. I’m going to suffocate on all the?—”

“—secrets?” River tries, an arched brow. “I feel you.” She lowers herself down into the pool and I follow her. “The question is, is it your secret or his that you’re worried about?”

Her words replay over. There have been times when I knew she was right. River is, if anything, wise.

“I can’t decide.”

“You can’t leave now.”

A smile touches my lips. “I know.”

I don’t.

There are no carols playing in this house, the slow bass of a Weeknd song drifting out to us. I turn in time to catch Stella being tossed over Vaden’s shoulder and hauled out of the living room. From outside looking in, you wouldn’t think of them all as they are.

You wouldn’t think of Bishop Vincent Hayes as a former ruthless kingpin of an organization so deadly that I can’t even wrap my head around. Right now, he looks like a loving husbandholding his wife in his lap. Brantley’s staring up at Saint as she runs her hand over the side of his cheek. His eyes are closed and his face at rest. He looks like a husband being cherished by his wife. Nate and Tillie sit opposite, where Tillie is braiding Halen’s hair as she and Deacon play what I’m guessing is poker. War is near the billiards table beside the bar with Priest.

And then there’s him.

Just him.

My throat swells. He saved me from the Ministry, but he has no idea what he cost me.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and that same pain returns. The one that feels like a knife being forged through my ribs and torn out the other side.

“—As much as I want to go for a drive and chill out on the top of Mount River.” River lies back, staring up at the stars. “I hate that I know your secret, Luna Nox.”

My stomach falls again. “Thank you for holding it for so long.”

“Self-preservation.” It’s a whisper, and I hate that I’ve put her through this. River is my best friend. There’s no way I’d want to put her in the position she’s in right now—and has been—all this time. “Don’t allow it to hurt him, Luna. I beg of you.”

I know what she’s saying, but leave the words hanging in the air between us anyway.

Pushing up from the ground, I make my way back inside, heading straight for the bedroom. His bedroom. As soon as the door is closed, I lean against it and slide to the floor. Everything feels like too much.

The air closes in around me, and I fumble in my pocket, swiping away the tears rolling down my cheeks to send a text to my family in the group chat. I need to let them know I am okay, even if Priest had filled them in.

“Madness. Come here.”

I slowly peel my eyes open onto him, where he’s sitting on a single sofa near the window. His bedroom is a minimalist’s dream. Handless doors, frameless walls, and lights that turn on when you enter, everything is effortless.

“I can’t.” The words catch in my throat.

“Why?” he asks, but it’s not a question. More of a test.

“Because I can’t seem to shake this feeling that something very bad is going to happen.”

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