Page 129 of Chasing Sparks

“What can I do?”

I lift my head and scoff. Is she serious? “You’ve done enough.” I jab a finger toward the door. “Ori loved me. I didn’t deserve that love. I didn’t deserveher. And thanks to you, she’s gone. I hope you’re happy—you’ve cost me more than I can even fathom.”

Lucille’s lower lip quivers, but I’m done playing nice. Twice, this woman has stomped on my dreams. The first time, it was just my heart that broke, but this time, she destroyed Ori too—and I won’t abide anyone hurting my woman.

I can’t blame Ori for walking away. This situation is beyond fucked, and if the roles were reversed, I’d be insane with jealousy. Hell, I’ve damn near punched Eddie out just for standing closer to Ori than I deem acceptable.

It’s the strangest thing—I was never a jealous guy. How could I be? I had fun with the women I hung out with, and most of them were having fun with other guys, too.

It made sense because I always swore I’d never settle down.

Now, those words taste like acid.

“I really messed things up, didn’t I?” Lucille asks, her gaze drifting to some far-off point. “Seems that’s what I’m best at—screwing shit up. But I’ll fix this. I promise.”

“How? The woman I love hates me. Wants nothing to do with me. I told her I’d give her everything—marriage, babies, the whole damn fairytale. She doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want me anymore, and I can’t fucking blame her.”

I pitch my water bottle across the room, the cap flying off as water sprays everywhere.

“Answer me this,” I snarl, my temper barely leashed. “Do you love destroying things? Because you are a goddamn train wreck, Lucille. Have you ever loved anyone, or was it all just a game to you?”

“You love to hit people when they’re down, don’t you?” Lucille whimpers, her body trembling.

“This isn’t some long-lost reunion. You dragged me into your mess, and now my entire world is upside down. Forgive me if I’m not rolling out the red carpet for you.”

“I know.”

Her blasé response snaps something inside me. “That’s all you have to say? I know I fucked up your life, but here’s my half-assed apology? You have got to be kidding me.”

“I didn’t mean to mess up your life.”

I laugh bitterly. “Sure you didn’t. But I’m the asshole for agreeing to help you. I should’ve left you to your own devices. No doubt you could have handled Kevin Duncan just fine.”

“Yeah,” she spits out, her voice cracking. “Those bruises proved how well I handled Kevin Duncan. You think I’m enjoying this? My life has been uprooted too. But Trace thought this was the only way out, and I trust him.”

I cut her off, my chest heaving. “Enough. I don’t care to hear any more of your sob story. The woman I love walked away this morning. I’ve lost her, Lucille. And you helped make that happen.”

Her hand trembles as it drifts to her belly. “Everyone, you and Trace included, thinks I’m a horrible person. A screw-up.And I’ve earned that title. I don’t deny it. But this little life …” She rubs her stomach gently, her voice breaking. “He doesn’t know that. He only knows that I love him. And I just want a chance to show the world I’m more than the home wrecker people see. I can be a good mom, Ash. But not if I’m running for my life.”

I’ve never seen Lucille this raw. She hides her emotions behind a tough-as-nails exterior, never willing to admit when she’s scared. What she doesn’t realize is that vulnerability makes her human.

“You don’t owe me anything, Asher Hammond,” she continues, running a hand through her hair. “You have every right to call Trace and tell him it’s done. Kick me out of the farmhouse. I deserve it. But I think I finally realize how fucking scared I am. How goddamn alone.”

Part of me wants to keep raging at her, to let her feel every ounce of anger I’ve been bottling up for a decade. But you don’t kick someone when they’re down. At least, I don’t.

Doesn’t mean I forgive her for what she’s done. Not even close.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a noisy sigh. “I might live to regret saying this, but you’re not alone.”

Lucille’s features crumple as fresh tears spill down her cheeks. “Yes, I am.”

I could feed her a few lines about hope and friendship, but the truth is, she’s right. Sheisalone. Without Trace and me, she’d be pushing up daisies.

This stress isn’t healthy for her or the baby. It’s hell onallof us.

Lucille wipes her eyes and straightens, her shoulders squaring like she’s readying for battle. “I’m going to fix this, Ash. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure it out. Let me help you winOri back. She’s a good woman, and I’d like to have her on my side.”

She leaves my office on that note, but her words linger in the air, pressing down on me.

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