Page 68 of Seeing You

“It’s fairly obvious and it makes total sense. You lost the two most important women in your life, and it made you leery of opening yourself up to anyone again. Less chance of getting hurt if you don’t let anyone in.”

Damn. That took some of the wind out of his sails.

For several moments, neither spoke, but he knew he needed to get it all out there.

“I was mad at you when Mom died,” he began, holding up his hand when his father went to argue. “I was mad at you, and we’ve talked about it, and we’re good. But this entire train of thought had me questioning if my staying away was because I was mad or…if keeping you at bay meant I couldn’t get hurt again.”

“Marcus…I don’t…that’s a lot to think about this early in the morning.”

“I know, but…Iamthinking about it. I don’t know for sure if that’s what it was and I’m certainly not trying to make excuses, but…I’m looking at my life and the way I’ve been living and…I’m not loving it.”

“Okay, so change it.”

He looked across the table as if his father were insane. “Dad, you don’t just…change. It’s not like you can flip a switch and everything’s all better.”

“Why not?”

The loud sigh was out before he could stop it. “Seriously? Because that’s not how things work.”

“Why not?”

Now Marcus was fighting not to lose his temper. “People don’t just change overnight! You certainly didn’t! You’re still stubborn and refuse to listen to anyone’s opinions! You didn’t listen to me about the work on the house and ended up nearly breaking your neck! So you want to talk to me about changing?”

His father had the decency to look a bit regretful. “Fine, it’s not as easy as flipping a switch. So where does that leave you?”

“I don’t know. I have a job and clients that I’m committed to. I have a home and a life…”

“That you hate.”

“I don’t hate it,” he corrected. “I just don’t love it the way I used to. But…I’ve worked hard for it, and the alternative—the life Icouldhave—I’m not sure it would make me happy either.”

“But it could.”

“But it might not.”

“But it could.”

“Would you stop doing that? Please?” he huffed. “God, you’re insufferable sometimes.”

“And you’re a pretentious snob. What else you got?”

Then the greatest thing happened. They were staring each other down when they both just started to laugh—full-bodied, hearty laughter.

It felt amazing.

“Woo, now that’s a hell of a way to start the day!” John said when they both calmed down. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that. Thank you.”

Marcus knew exactly what he meant because it was the same for him. “I was about to thank you. Few people call me out on my behavior.”

“Not to your face, but I’m sure they’re saying it a lot behind your back. Don’t you think that’s a problem?”

“I never did before, but…like I said, I’m seeing things a bit differently lately.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

The answer was both incredibly easy and impossible. He could quit his job today and say screw it to his life in D.C. so he could stay here and be with Billie, but he knew he’d come to resent it. And really, what the hell would he do with himself here in Sweetbriar Ridge? If he had to work at the local bank, he’d go crazy. If he had to drive an hour to work as a financial advisor in a bigger city, he’d be miserable with all the commuting.

But wouldn’t it be worth it to be with her?

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