Page 85 of Seeing You

“Okay, fine. Not helpful. But it’s the truth.”

“Max…” he whined. “Come on.”

“What do you want me to say? It sucks. I know it sucks. But the only one who can change things is you. Obviously, you already know you’re the problem—helpful or not, there it is—so you’re the one that has to fix it. But I guess the most important question is whether or not you want to. Is that what this is all about? You want Billie to be in your life?”

“I really do.”

“Okay, that’s a start, but…for what? Your girlfriend? A casual sex buddy? Your wife?”

“She wants marriage and kids…she wants it all,” he said quietly.

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s what I always wanted. It’s what I thought we were working toward ten years ago until she walked out the day before our wedding.”

“What?!Are you freaking kidding me? You never mentioned the two of you were going to get married! And…wait a minute. You were getting married without telling anyone? Why?”

Ugh…me and my big mouth.

“I didn’t want to deal with all the wedding planning and thought it would be fine for us to go to Hawaii and elope.”

“Look, I don’t know Billie the way you do, but even I know she’s very close with her family. How did you convince her to go along with that plan?”

“I didn’t, Max. That’s why we’re not married!”

His brother laughed softly. “Oh, yeah. Right. Okay, so…if she wants all the same things that you do, what’s the problem? You know, other than you violating her trust and then getting mad at things you had no reason to be mad about.”

“Logistics. It boils down to logistics. Lame, right?”

“I’m glad you said it,” Max mumbled. “I’m guessing she doesn’t want to live in D.C. and you don’t want to live in Sweetbriar Ridge.”

“Exactly.” He paused. “At least…I didn’t think I did.”

“I’m going to say something that you’re going to probably think is dumb, but I’m saying it anyway, so brace yourself.”

“Great. Consider me braced.”

“When you moved away for college, you used to say how you couldn’t wait to live in a big city. You’d come home to visit and we would have a lot of fun doing stuff around town. Then you graduated and moved to D.C. You came home a lot less—even before Mom died—and you became a lot less fun. After Mom died, it was like a part of you died too. And after you and Billie broke up? If we weren’t brothers, I wouldn’t want anything to do with you.”

Marcus let out a long breath and fought the urge to say something snarky.

“So here’s the thing, bro, how great is your life—how great is living in the big city—that it’s worth throwing away the woman you love? Is it worth it? Really?”

“For years, I told myself this life was great. I bragged about where I live, what I drive, the things I can do, when it’s not any of that. The house and car are great, but the rest? It’s non-existent. I don’t have any real friends and I spend a lot of time by myself. I don’t mind being alone, but sometimes it genuinely sucks.”

“So why lie about it?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone to know how wrong I got it—how big of a mistake I made. I thought…I thought I needed…”

“Back to what I was saying,” Max interrupted. “When you left, people weren’t working remotely. That sort of thing wasn’t the norm. Now it is. Why can’t you keep doing what you’re doing from Sweetbriar Ridge? Why can’t you do what everyone else is doing these days and start your own firm? And lastly, why can’t you get out of your own damn way and stop being so stubborn? Jeez, you are the dumbest smart guy I know! The answer is so flipping simple and yet it's like you need it spelled out for you! You’re exhausting!”

“I know, I know…but…how do I make this right? Billie has zero reason to trust me, zero reason to give me another chance, and zero reason to believe I can change. I don’t even know what I would say to her…or where to begin to explain my behavior.”

“Words are easy. Actions speak way louder. If you’re going to do this, you can’t just walk into the coffee shop or show up at her house and tell her you want to talk. You need to show her you’re putting in the work. You have to actuallydothe work.”

“How? I can’t just…” The words died in his throat because suddenly he had a plan. Or…part of one.

Looking at his calendar, Marcus knew exactly where to start and whose help he was going to need.

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