Page 75 of Seeing You

A dinner with her siblings? He brought the wine.

And when she asked him to stay an extra day? He didn’t even make a fuss.

Glancing over at his sleeping form, she frowned.

What is your deal, Calloway? Where was all this agreeableness ten years ago?

It was a stupid thing to even ask herself because they weren’t those people anymore, and wasn’t she the one who talked about how she couldn’t keep looking back?

Yes, dammit.

Her alarm was going to go off any minute and she hated that she was already awake almost as much as she hated missingout on a few more hours with him. Something had to give—soon. Living in limbo wasn’t something she could do for much longer. Being with Marcus had made her feel alive in ways she didn’t think possible anymore. Knowing it was temporary was devastating, but she’d started to make her peace with it.

Except now she wasn’t sure what they had could be described as temporary.

Looking at him again, her heart ached. She loved him. She still loved him and had never stopped loving him. But in the end, it didn’t matter because being with Marcus would mean giving up herself.

Don’t let that happen again. You deserve more.

Billie knew she could give herself a thousand pep talks, but, at the end of the day, her heart was going to want what it wanted.

Marcus.

There was a part of her that felt responsible for the reconciliation he was having with his father and she feared if she broke things off with him, he’d take that out on John.

Excuses…

There was also a bit of fear over ending things with him. She knew how much she wanted what her siblings had, but breaking things off with Marcus was going to put her in a funk again and she’d swear off dating. Then where would she be?

More excuses…

But more than anything, knowing he was here in Sweetbriar meant he wasn’t working himself to death like he always did. So really, she was helping him.

Ugh…seriously, more excuses! I’m pathetic.

Maybe she was, but…she was also beyond confused and conflicted.

Just then, Marcus rolled toward her and gently guided her into his arms. Tears stung her eyes because she knew she was going to miss this feeling.

“Don’t go to work today,” he whispered. “Stay with me.”

He was killing her. If he was awake and asking her that, she’d be beyond tempted. But…he was half asleep and just talking crazy.

Marcus kissed her shoulder. “Stay with me always, Billie,” he said quietly. “Don’t leave me.”

Tears fell in earnest, and she was glad her back was to him. It took everything in her to not break out into a full sob, so she carefully moved away from him, turned off the alarm before it could go off, and tiptoed to the bathroom.

It wasn’t until she was in the shower that she gave in and let herself cry.

Hard.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t the type of person to sit for too long feeling sorry for herself. She had to get to Books & Beans and get started on today’s baking, so that meant there wasn’t time for crying in the shower.

“I might have to start scheduling that,” she mumbled as she turned off the water.

By the time she dried off and had her robe on, she felt a little more in control of her emotions. Going through the rest of her morning routine, she knew Marcus would be awake and waiting for her as soon as she stepped back into the bedroom. That meant she definitely needed to be in control of her emotions so he wouldn’t suspect anything.

Sure enough, he was awake, but he was sitting up in bed waiting for her.

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