Page 26 of Outlaw

Two hours in the pool had worn her out. We showered, and then I dried her hair and put her in one of her more comfortable outfits that Jayda had bought her before lying down with her on her new canopy bed for a short nap. She needed to be rested before I told her about Linc. When she was tired, things were more dramatic. She fell asleep quickly, but I lay there and stared out the window while running my fingers through her soft locks.

It felt as if I had accidentally jumped on an out-of-control, speeding train and couldn’t get off. My decisions and choices had been snatched away. I wanted what was best for Stevie, and although Linc seemed very taken with her, I couldn’t see him being what was best for her.

Getting up, I tucked the covers around her before leaving her room to go over to the one given to me. I needed to call Hudson. I’d barely responded to his text, and before facing him tomorrow, I wanted to talk to him. Ease his mounting concern. Tomorrow would be bad. At least for tonight, I could let him rest easy.

Taking my phone, I stepped onto the balcony and pressed his number. I knew he’d had left the office by now and should be home. Unless his mother had called for him to come eat with her this evening. That happened a couple of times a week. She wasn’t very fond of me or Stevie, no matter how much Hudson claimed otherwise. I was a single mom, saddling her son with a kid that wasn’t his. She made comments that, somehow, Hudson misinterpreted differently. His mother could do no wrong in his eyes. It was something I had come to accept and live with.

“Hey,” Hudson said, sounding relieved. “I was just about to call you again. What happened with the car? I could come get you.”

I’d told him that the car’s engine light came on and I had to leave it at a repair shop overnight while they ordered a part. That was the last form of communication we had before I finally fell asleep last night. Now, I had to admit to that being a lie as well, but I would do so to his face. Even if that made it all the more difficult.

“I’m sorry. Things have been, uh, busier than expected. We will be home tomorrow.”To tell you that I am a liar and am moving in with Stevie’s very alive father for a year.Guilt weighed heavy in my chest.

“Good. I miss you,” he said, sounding as if he truly meant it.

“I miss you too,” I replied.

“I should have gone with you. I’ve felt bad about it since you left.”

That, too, was my fault. I’d told him I was going to the one thing I knew he wouldn’t want to attend. My secret had been carefully covered up.

“You can’t close down the office for something like this,” I replied.

“Branwen, I would do anything for you. If you’d have asked me to, I would have gone. Even though I hate funerals, I would have been there for you.”

I closed my eyes, wanting to weep at the sincerity in his tone. A man like this didn’t come along every day. I’d found one who not only loved me, but also loved my kid. The idea of losing him and what we had was painful. I doubted anyone would ever love me like this. Give me the safety and security that he provided.

“I know.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “It’s why I didn’t ask you.” Every word out of my mouth tasted sour because, tomorrow, this moment would never come again. I would have to look him in the eyes and tell him everything.

I heard his mother’s voice in the background, asking him if he wanted tomato gravy on his biscuits. She’d be happy when she found out. I wasn’t good enough for her son, and she’d known it all along.

“Yes, ma’am,” he called back. “Dinner is ready. Mom is fixing my plate. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you then.”

“I love you.” The three words he used so easily that I struggled to say.

“You too,” was the best I could do.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

The call ended, and I stood there, holding the phone to my ear, wishing there were another way. That I didn’t have to tell him about Linc or leave him. But wasn’t this the way that it always was? Those who loved me were taken away from me.

Twelve

Linc

Stevie’s face when she saw the macaroni and cheese placed in front of her for dinner secured Jayda’s future employment for as long as she wanted the job. Jayda winked at Branwen and gave her a small nod. She must have asked what Stevie’s favorite meal was. I didn’t much care for mac and cheese, but after the way my daughter reacted, I’d fucking learn to love it.

“Do you go to school yet, Stevie?” I asked her as I watched her take a drink of her oat milk. I knew this answer, but I wanted to hear her talk. Reading about her and Branwen from a report wasn’t the same as hearing Stevie’s version of her life.

Her eyes widened. “I’m going to go to school in…Septembah, wight, Mommy?” she asked, looking uncertain, as if she wasn’t positive she had told me the correct information.

Branwen started to nod and stopped. Her brows drawing together, as if she wasn’t sure how to respond. “Uh, yes—well,you were going to go in September, but things, um, well, they might change.”

There was nomight. They would change.

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