He blew out a breath slowly. “Okay. I, uh…I deserve that.”
A hard laugh fell from my lips as my heart, which he’d shattered internally, lay in shards around me.
Whatever he came here to say, I didn’t want to hear it. If it was an apology for last night, why? There was no point. It had served a purpose.
“Last night—” he began, actually looking remorseful.
I held up a hand and shook my head. “No. I don’t care, Linc. I get it, okay? I also get that I am just a fuck for you. One of many. I don’t want to talk about it.”
I started to walk around him, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. Seeing him only made the damage I’d allowed him to cause me roar back to life.
His hand shot out and grabbed my arm to stop me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep, calming breath. I could not yell at him and call him names outside our daughter’s door.
“What?” I snapped, not looking at him again, but keeping my gaze straight ahead.
With one hard tug, he pulled me against him, causing me to lose my balance and fall onto his chest. He inhaled sharply, and I realized I’d probably just hit his cracked rib. Well, good. He deserved it. He was the one who had pulled me over here.
Angrily, I glared up into his eyes, only to momentarily forget to breathe. His hands cupped my face, and I had no time to process the look in his eyes before warm lips pressed against mine. The tip of his tongue flicked out to trace my bottom lip, and I opened. The need to have this kiss, know what it felt like, was far greater than my common sense and self-worth.
A low growl vibrated through him as he began to plunder andexplore with hungry strokes, as if I tasted like a treat he couldn’t get enough of. My hands went to his biceps, and I held on, needing something to steady me. The pads of his thumb brushed over my cheekbones. I could no longer tell if the quickening beat I felt was my heart or his. This went beyond any connection I had experienced before. It was far deeper.
This could destroy me.
That thought was a cold splash of reality, and I pulled back, breaking the kiss, but Linc didn’t release me. He continued to hold my face, and the darkened gleam in his blue eyes held me transfixed.
Why was he doing this to me?
The gentle touch of his thumb ran underneath my eye, as if he saw the shadows I had tried to hide.
“Even when you were a kid, you tugged at my soul.” The corners of his mouth quirked beneath his beard.
“Drunk and high in Vegas, I was drawn to you, but when I looked at you the next morning, the threat that you could own my soul sent me running.”
He leaned down and pressed another soft peck against my lips. “And even when I wanted to hate you, when I wanted to hurt you, I couldn’t. Because it was you.” He lifted his head, and his eyes met mine. “It was always you.”
We stood there for several moments, and the things I saw in his eyes confused me. I wanted so much from him, but I had been fooled too many times before, and I knew my wishful thinking misread him every time. His hands fell away, and his eyes felt like a caress as they drifted over my face.
“I’ll have Doc come here for the STD testing,” he told me, his voice raspy and deep.
Then, he turned and walked away.
Forty-Eight
Branwen
I was sure I looked completely engrossed in the episode ofBlueyplaying on the patio television to anyone else, but that was so far from the case. My head was spinning with so many different thoughts that I didn’t know what to focus on first.
Stevie was curled up beside me with her hair still damp from her bath, wearing her pajamas. I’d gone ahead and bathed her early because we’d spent the afternoon at the pool after she woke up from her nap.
During that time, Jayda had come to get me, and she stayed with Stevie while I went inside to meet Dr. Burl.
He was pleasant and took my blood quickly, telling me he was sure there was nothing to worry about, but that I was smart to be safe. Feeling the need to defend my request, although he hadn’t been negative at all, I mentioned Linc’s variety of women.
Burl smiled and nodded, as if he understood. He then said thatLinc was tested monthly and that he’d never known him to not use protection with a female. That this was unlike him, but my wanting to be tested was smart. That one could never be too careful.
The knowledge that Linc was tested regularly had eased my concern. The thing about Linc always using protection though? Nope. Didn’t believe that. He might lie to the doctor, but I knew that when Linc was worked up, it was easy to get him to go without one. I’d pleaded once, and he’d sunk into me.
His kiss this afternoon had messed me up for a few hours. My lips warmed at the memory. Dammit. That had been…well, I’d never felt that before with just a kiss. As with everything when it came to Linc, my body only responded to him that way. I had actually made a grocery list in my head once while kissing Hudson. With Linc, I was sure there had been a moment when I forgot my own name.