Page 7 of Dangerous

With Peter away for the weekend and completely unplugged, I couldn’t respect his privacy and leave the—hopeful information containing—envelop alone.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, I flipped the envelop upside down, allowing all the papers to slide out. The first piece was a copy of the baby’s birth certificate naming Peter as the father to baby Liam and some woman, named Debbie, as the mother. According to it, Liam had been born at the end of May, making him about six weeks old. Also in the pile was his health card and a letter signed by Debbie and written on paper containing the letterhead for a lawyer, giving up all her parental rights to Liam.

But it was the last stack of folded papers that worried me. Through the papers, I could see they’d been handwritten. Probably a letter explaining everything and by rights, I didn’t need to read it since I already had the baby’s name, age, and health number, but something inside me pushed me, telling me I needed to know.

So I did…

And wished I hadn’t.

Peter,

I told you in March that I didn’t want to be a single mom. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a mom which was why I was always meticulous about using a condom and my diaphragm until that surprise afternoon of sex in the bathroom at the waterpark and then again that night in hospital bathroom when you were there with a sick friend. I remember all the pleasure you gave me fondly—I’ve used my vibrator numerous times to those memories—knowing that I won’t experience it again since you refused to offer to marry me in March when I told you about our child. Not that I want to marry you, but that would have been better than being a single mom.

So, I’m leaving Manitoba. I’ve met someone new, and he wants to take me travelling. He wants to show me the world and treat me like a princess. But he doesn’t want Liam. And being honest, neither do I. I’m tired. I never wanted to be a single mom or even a mom without the help of a nanny. It’s been six long weeks, and my new guy is growing impatient. Since I’m not breastfeeding, he’s old enough to be weaned from me.

Tell him what you want about me as he grows up. I don’t really care as he’s no longer legally mine.

Debbie.

With shaking fingers and a stomach ready to revolt, I folded up the letter and hid it inside a secret pocket in the diaper bag. Somehow, I’d let Peter know it was there without revealing that I read it. Not when it brought up too many raw and painful memories. I didn’t want to think about the implications of what she’d written, about how he’d been with her, leaving me alone at the waterpark where I was sexually assaulted. And then to know he left me, at the hospital, to be with her… no wonder Jason took the big job away. This knowledge explained their fight. Jason knew what he’d done.

I raced to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth as my stomach erupted. Bile burned as it made its way up and out since I hadn’t had anything to eat except my Tylenol. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I continued to retch. My heart broke. How could he do that to me? I mean, I know we weren’t dating or anything, but still, any decent human being wouldn’t leave someone alone like that while they snuck away to get laid. And then at the hospital… that was even worse.

Why did I always make friends with guys who did that? Peter did it. Jarrod sort of did it. My best friend Mason did it at the party. Guys were always taking me places, inviting me to be withthem, and then leaving me to go have sex with someone else. Was there something wrong with me? Was I the problem?

Before I could fall to far into despair, I heard Liam cry out. His mom might not have wanted him, and his dad might be a miserable excuse for a human, but he was innocent. I wouldn’t let my feelings, my anger and frustration with his dad to interfere with how I cared for him. I could break down and deal with it all later. Right now, I needed to focus on Liam and make him feel secure and loved.

6

Katy/Katherine

By the time, I’d cleaned up, Liam was back asleep. With only one bottle left and a couple of diapers, we needed supplies. Mom would have some at work, but she wouldn’t be home until she picked me up from work.

“Shit. Work. What am I going to do?” I glanced at the clock and figured it would be safe to call mom. Another nurse answered the phone but told me she’d grab mom right away.

“Katy? What’s wrong? Why are you awake?”

I wanted to laugh. Even mom knew my sleep habits and being awake at eight am on a weekend without having an event planned just wasn’t normal.

“Mom, do you have emergency spare car seats there? Rear facing ones for an infant?” To get the needed supplies, I’d need to drive if I had any hope of making it to work a little late. But to drive meant I needed a car seat. Even just grabbing diapers and formula locally would be difficult without a car since I wouldn’t be able to carry both Liam and the items.

“We have one or two, why?”

“Um, I found an abandoned baby on Peter’s doorstep.”

“You what?!”

Before she could launch into how I should be calling the police, I told her the whole story, minus everything in the letter.

“Did you say Debbie Linton?” Before I could confirm the name, mom carried on, “So that’s why she quit suddenly at Christmas. She was knocked by a teacher instead of one of the doctors she was trying to trap.” I wasn’t sure if knowing that about Debbie made her revelations about what Peter did better or worse, but I didn’t have time to think about it since mom continued to talk. “Can you get to the hospital? We should probably have one of the docs check the baby over, make sure there’s nothing wrong with him. And we’ll need to keep him until Peter returns and decides what to do. I’m sure there’d be lots of willing couples to adopt him. Although Peter might want to keep him if he and Jarrod were thinking about having kids. It would save them from having to adopt or try to find a surrogate. But it might be too soon for them to be thinking about things like that. I mean, neither one of them were exactly the poster child for someone wanting to be in a serious, committed relationship. Who knows how long it will even last between them since I don’t think either of them have ever been with a man before. Them coming out as a couple was a huge shock.”

Not wanting to listen to anymore of mom’s ramblings about Peter and his relationships, I pulled her attention back to Liam. “I’ll figure out a way to get there. But first I need to call Geoff. Hopefully he’ll let me bring Liam to work.”

“I’m sure he will. Or maybe he’ll give you the weekend off,” Mom said hopefully. Even though I aced all my exams, she still wasn’t too happy about my decision to work.

After saying goodbye, I called my boss, explaining a little about Liam. After reassuring me that it would be perfectly fine to bring Liam and to arrive late—just needed to let him knowthe timings so he could let Sasha know—he offered to pick me up and take us to the hospital by lunchtime if I hadn’t found another way there by then.

As soon as he hung up, the doorbell rang, making me jump. With the guys gone and my girlfriends working, there was no one who should have been dropping by. A flicker of hope sprang to life as I stood. Maybe it was this Debbie chick returning to pick up Liam, saying this was all a practical joke and that she only just found out that Peter was away.

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