Page 33 of Dangerous

I put Liam down on the floor on his tummy and then I sat down a few feet from him. He’d done this today at lunch when no one was in the room, so I hoped he’d do it again. “Li-am,” I called, stretching out his name as I shook a rattle. “Come get it, sweet boy.”

He lifted his head, pushing up on his hands as he pulled his little legs up to his side. I held the rattle out to him. He started to rock, lifting one hand and then the other as he tried to move. I repeated the process. His face scrunched up in concentration as he stared at me.

And then he did it.

He inched forward. It wasn’t a complete crawl on his hands and knees, but it was a crawl. It looked like how soldiers did it when they crawled under the barbed wire on their obstacle courses.

I continued to hold out the rattle, but he crawled right past it, not stopping until he climbed into my lap. I lifted him, kissing his head. “You’re such a big boy.”

“I can’t believe he did that. You’re amazing with him, Katy.”

At the sound of Peter’s voice, I jumped, startling Liam and causing him to cry out. I shushed him, telling him I was sorry for scaring him as I stood. “Ho-how long have you been here?”

“Since his belly laugh. I didn’t get it on video, but I did get him crawling.” He stepped into my personal space, filling my nostrils with the scent of his cologne. The one I purchased for him last Christmas. I hadn’t smelt it in class since he’d been at the front while I continued to sit towards the back, keeping my distance even when I didn’t have Liam in class. The scent intensified as he pressed a kiss to Liam’s head as Liam snuggled against my chest.

“He didn’t nap as long today. A couple of the other babies were having a bad day and kept waking him up. But he was a trooper and didn’t really cry.”

“Thanks Susan. I’m glad he didn’t give you any problems.”

“Him?” Susan scoffed. “He’s a sweetie. I just have to keep Missy away from him and he’s perfectly fine.”

I swallowed my laugh, making me snort which in turn made Liam treat us all to another belly laugh. I knew there was some old saying about babies knowing the character of people and it sounded like Liam was certainly one of them since he had Missy pegged.

“Well, that’s good to know. I guess I should get him home. Katy, do you need a ride?”

“Please. Mom left me a voicemail, saying that she was sorry, but she was called in early for her shift tonight.”

“Not a problem. And since you’ll be all alone, you should just stay and eat supper with us. Maybe you can get him to crawl some more so Jason and Jarrod can see it live.”

“If you haven’t already baby proofed your house, now’s the time, because he’s going to be getting into everything,” Susan threw out, reminding me that it was something I’d wanted to talk to them about. Maybe while we were working on that, I’dgrow the courage to talk to them about the dance. Probably not, but at least I could hope.

Once we were seated in the car, Peter placed his hand on my thigh. “What’s wrong, Katy-bear? You’re looking tired and I swear you’re losing weight.”

I shrugged, not knowing what to say or how to start even as tears stung my eyes, wanting to fall. Despite the time and distance between us, nothing had clarified in my mind. I still couldn’t sort through all my feelings. I’d thought about calling Diane, my old therapist, but what could I say to her? I couldn’t tell her about Peter because his job would have been on the line. I wasn’t even sure I could say anything about Jason or Jarrod because I worried that she’d think they were taking advantage of me or that I was acting out in response to the attack. I mean, why else would I be lusting over men who were twelve years older than me? It certainly couldn’t be because they were amazing, caring men who treated me like a queen. Sure, they weren’t perfect, they’d hurt me, but that could have happened with anyone. Mason hurt me as well and he hadn’t treated me half as well as they did, do. And he’d been my age.

“You know you can tell me, us, anything. We’re here like we’ve always been even if you needed some distance from us, from me. I, we, won’t ever turn you away.” He started the car when I didn’t answer. “I miss you, Katy.”

As he drove through the town to our houses, a stray tear or two defied me, forging a path down my cheeks. I was tired. So very tired. It felt like everything was closing in on me, weighing me down, and I needed an outlet. A safe one or it was all going to explode out of me, injuring people. And that wasn’t something I wanted to happen.

By the time, Peter parked the car, I knew I needed to tell him everything. And since his was the only car, I knew now was thetime. Maybe telling just one of them instead of all three would make it easier.

“Are you coming over for supper?” Peter squeezed my thigh, pulling me out of my head.

“Can we talk?” I asked, not answering his question, mostly because I didn’t know what my answer would be. It would all depend on how our conversation went.

“Of course. Come in and we’ll get Liam sorted. Then we can talk. If we don’t already have something prepared for supper, I’ll order. That way we won’t have to worry about that while we’re talking.”

I nodded.

Within ten minutes, I sat on the couch, holding Liam as I fed the tired boy his bottle.

“We’d planned on cooking pork chops tonight so pizza it is, unless you’d like some Chinese food. We hadn’t had it in a bit.”

At the mention of Chinese food, my stomach grumbled, making Peter laugh. “Chinese it is.”

He sat down beside me, turning so that he was facing me. “Now tell me what’s going on. What’s got you so worked up that you’re not sleeping or eating properly?”

“It’s…” I took a deep breath as I berated myself. I was stronger than this. Despite everything, this was Peter. The man who held me after my father was killed. Never letting me go until I started to speak again. “It’s the dance next week.”

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