Page 25 of Dangerous

He ushed us into his nearly empty classroom, removing Liam’s diaper bag from Ethan’s shoulder with a quick thank you.

“What happened?” Peter hoovered behind me, looking over my right shoulder. Without thinking—I’m sure—he reached around me, almost hugging me as he pulled the cloth from the sling away from Liam’s face. My heart thudded as I felt his breath on the side of my neck, reminding of how it felt to be in his arms, to be kissed by him.

I cleared my throat and tried to shuffle a little to the left, opening a little space between us. This was why I’d stayed away. I didn’t trust myself to be in his presence, in their presence. The moment we were together, I could feel an invisible bungy cord, pulling us intrinsically together. It felt like I was living in one of my romance books where the characters were fated to be with each other. As stupid as it sounded, that’s how it felt.

“He wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t settle for his nap. When they tried to cuddle him, he cried even harder, so they sent for me. Susan thinks it’s early teething issues.”

“Poor little guy.” Peter stroked Liam’s cheek, making him squirm a little. Thankfully I’d been holding him despite the sling as I still wasn’t sure that I trusted he wouldn’t fall. “Do you want me to take him? I think I can teach this class while holding him.”

I glanced around the classroom, taking note of all who was in this ELA 40S Literary Focus English class. None of them were people I’d had issues with since all of them were focused more on their academic achievements than climbing their way to the top of the social standings. In fact, most of them would probably be in the AP English Literature and Composition class Peter was teaching in the second semester. “It’s fine. I can keep him since he’s finally resting comfortably.”

“If, you’re sure?”

“I am.” I walked over to a seat towards the back of the classroom, where I hopefully wouldn’t disturb anyone if Liam began to fuss. Ethan followed me, plopping into the seat next to mine.

“I know he’s your neighbour and everything, but don’t worry about missing any notes. You can copy mine with this class as well.”

Ethan’s act of kindness might have been small to most people, but it made me want to cry. Letting me copy his notes and sitting beside me after what we’d just gone through, knowing that people would continue to say that he was mybaby daddywas the biggest hand of friendship anyone had ever offered me. Even Mason chose to become a player, sleeping around with our classmates at the parties, just to prove that he wasn’t under my spell. And even though I never felt that way towards him, never wanted more than friendship, his actions hurt. He acted the same way Peter and Jarrod—and to a small extent Jason—did, but in their cases, I didn’t know that they liked me unlike with Mason. But having so many so-called friends chose to sleep their way through the masses to put space between us had made me wonder if something was wrong with me, if I was the problem.

Instead of answering, I continued my bobblehead impersonation and nodded too worried that I’d embarrass myself by crying if I opened my mouth.

The bell rang, signifying the beginning of class. Peter stood at the front, looking dashing in his dress pants and button up shirt where the top two buttons were undone. And when he lifted his hand to write on the whiteboard, I bit my lower lip. He’d rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, showcasing his muscular forearms. How was I ever going to get through this class? Each time I glanced up at him, I wanted to throw myself at him and beg for forgiveness for walking away.

But within a few minutes of him teaching, none of that mattered. I saw first-hand what I’d always known. Peter was a gifted teacher. I soon found myself lost myself in his voice and the subject matter.

19

Peter

This was the very definition of torture, having to watch Katy take care of my—in my mind our—son and not be able to do anything. I couldn’t walk over and touch her. I couldn’t walk over and hold her in my arms. And I most definitely couldn’t walk over there and kiss her. No matter how much my body, my soul cried out to do those very things. To do so would ruin everything. Not only would I lose my job, possibly my freedom, but I’d also lose Katy for not respecting her wishes, her boundaries. And that wasn’t something I was willing to do. I might have been an idiot for years, but now that I’d stopped denying my feelings and recognized my mistakes, I wasn’t about to make them again.

So, despite how difficult it was, I pushed all thoughts of Katy and Liam to the side, trusting she’d let me know if anything changed with his condition, and focused on teaching. The first class of the semester tended to be boring, focusing on the syllabus and review. For most people, discussing the various literary terms we’d already covered was the height of mind-numbing boredom, but I’d discovered a way to get the students involved and somewhat excited. My methods weren’t the same for every class, but I knew the students in this one. Some I’d never taught before, like Katy, but many of them had been in my class before or were like Katy and had been taught by Dr. Stone before she retired. Most of this group were signed up for my AP class next semester so I knew they knew their stuff.

“Now class, we’re going to play a little game. I’m going to name a literary term. The student I choose will have to give an example using a piece of literature that we haven’t studied in class. And while we might not have all read the same the same things, challenging the claim is permitted which means the person who gave the answer must pull out a valid example of the term from the work cited and make their case as to why it applies. No one can use the same example.” As the noise level rose at my instructions, I held up my hands to quiet them. “And please try to remember that my son, who isn’t feeling well, is sleeping.”

A hand shot up into the air.

“Yes, Hannah?”

She glanced back a Katy, giving her a sly look that had my nerves endings standing up before turning back to face me, wearing an innocent smile that didn’t fool me. “Mr. Evans, is it true that you adopted your son from a teenage mom to spare her from social ridicule because that’s what everyone’s saying?”

I didn’t have to glance at Katy to know how she’d gone rigid in her seat. Comments and rumours like this had been something that’d crossed my mind, but since Katy had been a cheerleader last year, wearing her small uniform, and doing acrobatic feats right up until the end of school, I’d dismissed them, thinking our students were smarter than this. Clearly, I’d been wrong. And once again, I’d made a choice—this time thecorrect one for my son—and still ended up hurting Katy. Fuck me.

I leaned back, resting my ass on the edge of my desk and stared out at my students. “Not that this is anyone’s business since it deals with my private life but let me dispel the rumours. And feel free to correct your fellow students when you hear them spouting such nonsense. I’d like to remind you of our no-tolerance for bullying policies. And if you think that we’re joking, that we won’t take action, I’d like to remind you all what happened at our Fall Harvest Dance last year.” I waited, glaring, until the students before me sobered up, understanding the gravity of what I’d just said and was about to say. “Liam is my biological son. His birth mother is someone I had a very brief encounter with before Jarrod, and later Jason, and I became official. He’s the result of what happens when you don’t use protection. So let this all be an example to you. If you’re having sex, you need to be prepared to be a parent.”

“And his mom?” a voice called out. I had my suspicions as to who asked, but I let it slide. This was my chance to hopefully make things better for Katy.

“Someone who doesn’t live in Voyageur Bay. And someone who won’t ever be in his life because she wasn’t ready to be a parent. Katy is watching him because, as my next-door neighbour and with all her babysitting experience, she helped us when he first arrived.” I clapped my hands together and stood. “Now, let’s get on with the game.”

I wasn’t stupid and knew this wouldn’t be the end, that it would take a little time to for this issue to die down, but it would. And hopefully it wouldn’t cause any lasting damage to Katy’s reputation.

By the time the bell rang, signifying the end of the school day, I was wiped, ready for bed, and it still wasn’t over. Liam was supposed to still be in daycare until Jarrod arrived to pick himup as I had a staff meeting, I needed to attend. What the fuck was I going to do?

The students left the classroom, leaving Katy and the new guy, Ethan—who’d been the one to wait with Katy at the party until Jarrod and I were able to get to her—at the back where Katy was feeding Liam his bottle. He’d woken up towards the end of class, but she’d pulled what looked like a baby facecloth from a Ziplock bag and let him suck on the cloth, keeping him quiet for almost twenty minutes before deciding to feed him.

I made my way over to her and slumped into a seat in front of her. “Do you think he’s okay to go back to daycare? I have a staff meeting and since it’s the day one meeting, I don’t know how long it’ll be. Jarrod’s supposed to pick him up in an hour when his meeting is finished.”

Katy took the bottle from his mouth and deftly shifted him so that she could burp him. She was such a natural with him that watching her with him was like a shot to gut every time. She should have been his mother. Not Debbie. And as much as I loved my son, looking at him was a constant reminder of my failures, of my mistakes. Not that I’d ever let him know that or feel it in my actions because now that he was in my life, I was never giving him up. It was just something I’d learn to live with.

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