Page 19 of Dangerous

“That’s not true, Kitty-Kat, we’ll always need you… to help” I nodded, agreeing with Jarrod, but held my tongue. From the things Jason told us this morning after he woke up, I was expecting something like this. And as much as it would devastate me to lose her, I wanted her to be selfish, to put herself first for once.

“What exactly are you meaning, Katy-Bear?”

She glanced at Jason as her lower lip tucked into her mouth as she chewed on it. I gave her hand another little squeeze to remind her of my presence. I wanted answers. We all wanted answers. And while I wanted to give her all the time in the world to explain things, I also couldn’t handle all the adrenalin running through my system. Katy wasn’t the only one who was exhausted. Caring for a baby was tiring work, made all the more difficult when you had no warning, when the baby wasn’t a newborn, giving you the chance to learn with them, and when you had to learn everything from how to make formula, how to wash their items, on top of learning how to take care of them.

“I-I need time. This is all so much. It’s like I told you”—she nodded towards Jason—“last night. I’m only seventeen. I have a job that I’m committed to, fundraisers to prepare for, school to get ready for. So, while I was happy to help get Liam settled in and you comfortable with him, I need some time to get all my stuff done. Sometime without allthis.” She motioned around the room, encompassing us.

I pushed myself off the counter and with my other hand, I cupped her cheek. “You take all the time you need. I’m so thankful for all the help you’ve given us so far. We would have never made it to this stage without you.”

“You would have,” she reassured me, ever the giving and forgiving soul.

“Maybe,” I conceded, “but you made it easier and less painful.” I stroked the soft skin under her eye with my thumb, catching the tiniest bit of wetness that escaped. The presence of tears made my heart clench. Did this time away mean time away from us as in our relationship? Not that I’d blame her if it did after all I’d done. Every morning and every night, I thanked God that Jason and Jarrod—and Katy, too—were still sticking with me because I had a lot to make up for, a lot to prove. But one thing I had learned was that communication was the key,the basis of all healthy relationships. My lack of communication had been part of my earlier problems, and it was something I was working on. So, before I went off half cocked, accidentally pushing her away or hurting her again, I wanted—no, needed—to know what she meant. “Are you meaning time away from us, from our relationships?”

The tears fell a little as she stared up at me. My heart ached for her, for us. This is what I’d done to her. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and then each of her eyelids before wiping away her tears. She’d cried too many times over things I’d heartlessly done, I was bound and determined that this, her taking a stand for herself, for her mental wellbeing, would not be one of them. “You, Love, take all the time you need, okay? But I’m going to ask you one thing…” She nodded. “Don’t stay away. Don’t avoid us. Come, and spend time like you used to with no pressure about anything, no pressure about a relationship or a former one.”

“B-but?—”

I lowered my thumb, placing it over her lips. “No buts. I know that Jason, Jarrod, and I have both you, and now I’m telling you again, I—we—are following your lead. You’re the one in control. If you want a break from the relationship, whether it’s temporary or permanent, then that’s what we’ll do. But we, me and the guys, we won’t change the way we feel about you or how we treat you. I have a lot to make up to you, a lot to prove to regain your trust, and I will. I—we—will always be here, always caring for you.”

All my regret, all my self-loathing, all my love for her, I let it all out through my eyes as I continued to hold her gaze, wanting her to see, to understand, to believe despite all the times I’d betrayed her trust. It had been wrong to kiss her. Wrong because the law said so. But in matters of the heart, in the world of romance and soul mates, kissing her had been the right thing to do. The perfect thing. Going forward, when doubts would strikeout at her, making her question everything about my intentions, my feelings, maybe that kiss would refresh her memory, remind her how I agonized about giving in when all it would do was to complicate her life and hurt her in the long run. Maybe it would be my saving grace.

Soft mewling sounds came over the baby monitor, pulling all our gazes as we held our breathes, waiting to see if Liam was waking or just making noises. When he settled, gratitude ran through me at the reminder. The grimace on my face had Katy shifting as if to pull away, but I tightened my grip on her hand, keeping her near me. “I lied.”

From my peripheral vision, I watched as Jason and Jarrod hulked out, wanting to jump to Katy protection. I released her cheek and used those fingers to brush a few whisps of hair away from her temple, tucking the strands behind her ear. “I said there was only one thing I wanted to ask, but it really was two.”

Jason and Jarrod deflated, relaxing their poses a little, but it was Katy’s slight rolling of her eyes and the barest hint of a smile that had me counting my actions as a win despite the seriousness of the topic. A topic I hesitated to bring up, unsure about her reaction… actually that wasn’t true. I knew what her answer would be because her heart was just that big. I just didn’t want her to feel forced or coerced in any way. That more than anything would pose the biggest stumbling block to her possible forgiveness to me.

With nothing and yet everything to lose, I decided the band aid approached would be the best. “When school starts, Liam will be in the daycare there. And I was wondering if I could put you down as one of his emergency contacts. There will be times when I can’t leave my class to get him if he needs me and Jason or Jarrod might be busy or too far away to be there immediately. But you, he loves you. He’s comfortable with you. And you’re the only person we completely trust with him.” I stepped closer,nearly brushing our chests together. “It wouldn’t be for much. Jarrod or Jason or I would still come if he needed longer than a few minutes, but until we arrived, until we could make arrangements, I wouldn’t want him to be with people he didn’t find complete comfort in. People he didn’t feel as family.”

I held my breath, wondering if I’d taken things too far with the comment about family. But she was. Always had been and always would even if it didn’t match the idea of a conventional family. Even if we never returned to being a—couple? polycule? Whatever the correct term was.

She glanced towards the primary bedroom where Liam currently napped. Again, she chewed on her poor, abused lower lip. With gentle care, I freed her lip, not wanting her to have a physical reminder of all the shit I’d put her through. Her gaze returned to me, examining me before moving on to do the same to the other who’d moved a little closer during my latest request. Whatever she saw in them must have proven to her that despite evidence to the contrary fo things we’d withheld from her, we’d never used our words to lie.

“I-I can do that. Be his other contact at the school daycare.” Under my fingers, I felt her body relax. “And I promise to come by like normal. He’s a cutie-pie and I can’t just stop spending time with him.”

“Thank you.” And this time, I didn’t hang back. I pressed a simple, chaste kiss on her lips, lingering there as I try to memorize the feel of her lips on mine, the taste of them, everything about the whole experience in case it’s the last time I get to. How I managed to keep from touching her, from kissing her for the past year I wasn’t sure—well, I did know, I just wished I hadn’t been so stupid by denying my feelings which led me down a toxic path.

When I pulled back, Jarrod was there, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth. “Thank you.”

And then Jason pushed his way in, dislodging me from my spot directly in front of her, but I kept a hold of her hand, not wanting to lose all contact just yet. “Remember what I said.” She nodded. “Then go sleep and relax, Baby Girl. We’ll be here, waiting, for when you’re ready.”

He pressed a swift kiss to her forehead and gathered her close. But the minute he released her, he pulled me away, giving her room to walk away and out the door. Just hopefully not out of our lives… forever.

15

Peter

School loomed large before me. Diaper bag slung over my left shoulder along with my messenger bag, containing my lesson plans and lunch while Liam, in his car seat, was in my right hand. It wasn’t my first day walking into this building since Liam came into my life, but it was my first time with him. And it felt like every eye in the vicinity was trained on me, examining me, judging me.

“Well, bud,” I said as I looked down at my son. “It’s the first day. I know it’ll be a new place and new people, but I’m only a call away. And Katy will be even closer.” At the sound of Katy’s name, Liam grinned—you and me both, kid.A skill he started doing a couple of weeks ago when Katy, who’d needed a ride home from work when her mom was called in, stayed to play with him and have supper with us. Something we’d all been thankful for since it had been her first contact with us since she’d essentiallybroken upwith us and walked out.

After that evening, she’d spent with us, she had stopped by a few times for a visit or with some food she’d made. She’d spendthe time primarily playing with and feeding Liam, but she did talk with us, telling us what had been happening with her, in between whatever she was doing with Liam at that moment.

I glanced around the parking lot, looking for Marie’s car. Since Marie was working nights this week, Katy had opted to drive herself to school instead of accepting my offer for a ride. It had hurt a little when she turned me down since it had been something I’d been doing since I’d started as a student-teacher at the school, but I understood. And even if she never took me up on the offer again, I’d always offer, just like when Jarrod showed up at Vet’s Pets to pick her up when her shift had finished after her mom had been called in. He hadn’t demanded that she come home with him. Instead, he’d told her what had happened and offered her a ride.

When I didn’t see her, I shrugged and started towards the building, knowing she’d meet me at the daycare when she arrived. I entered the school through the staff entrance, relieved when I didn’t see Ashley in the staff room. Once she heard about Liam last week, she renewed her attempts to entice me into sleeping with her. Something that had stopped after I’d outed my relationship with Jarrod. Even informing the staff that my relationship didn’t just include Jarrod, but also Jason didn’t seem to slow her down. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get her to stop, but I needed her to. I didn’t want to spend the year fending off her advances again. Maybe Greg would be able to help or even run some interference. It was something I’d need to think upon.

“Ahh, Mr. Evans, Peter. I was told to expect you this morning… with your new son.”

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