Page 15 of Dangerous

Despite all those things we put in place, she still refused to sleep in our bed. This time her excuse was that we needed the practice so we’d know that we could take care of him without herbeing in the house overnight. A truth since we’d already been trying to keep her in bed while we took care of things while he’d been sleeping in the nursery. But despite her reasoning, I knew it was only an excuse, a way to keep her distance. A distance I’d allowed to grow because I’d been too scared of what her reaction would be.

But enough was enough.

I missed my Katy-bear. I’d missed holding her in my arms. And even though we’d only kissed a few times, I missed those as well. Missing her was probably a bigger cause of my moodiness than my lack of sleep.

So, when Jason and Jarrod put Liam into his stroller to take him out for an evening walk, I pounced. “Katy-bear, put on your swimsuit and let’s relax in the hot tub while they have Liam. You’ve been taking such good care of him that it’s time we start taking care of you.”

She chewed on her lower lip as her fingers tightened into fists. I knew she was about to refuse, and I didn’t know what to do.

“Come on, Baby Girl. Let Peter spoil you while we’re out. And if you do that for me, Jarrod and I will bring you home a special treat,” Jason cajoled as he led her to her old room. “If I have to, I’ll put the swimsuit on you myself and you know how much I’d like that.” He leaned in, brushing a kiss across her lips. “But if I do that then you wouldn’t be getting into the hot tub, and Liam wouldn’t be going for a walk.”

Her eyes narrowed even as her chest heaved from the warring emotions within her. Jason had neatly boxed her into getting into the hot tub with me. As much as I knew she probably wanted some alone time with him since that was something that all of us were lacking from, keeping Liam to a routine and daily walks was extremely important to her. “Fine, I’ll get into my suit, but you better be bringing me back something chocolaty.”

“Like we’d do anything else.” He kissed her again. This time he slid his hand around the back of her head, holding her securely as he plundered her mouth. My dick hardened, tenting my swim shorts as I watched envious that he was getting to kiss her in a way I’d only experienced once before if you didn’t count my dreams.

When Jason finally pulled back, both were breathing heavily as Jason rested his forehead against hers. “Just hear him out, okay Baby Girl? For me?”

She nodded, bringing a huge smile to his lips. And as he turned to face me, he gave his cock a quick jerk before adjust himself, so it wasn’t so noticeable.

“You should probably do the same,” he whispered as he walked past me, giving me a little tug.Fucking tease,but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

I waited in the hall for Katy to emerge and nearly swallowed my tongue when she came out wearing a string bikini. It wasn’t something I’d seen her wear before since she tended to be a little more covered in front of others after what happened to her last summer. Hopefully this was a good sign that despite everything, she still felt safe and comfortable in my presence.

With her hand in mine, I led her out to the hot tub and helped her in. I wasn’t sure if it was better to sit beside her or across from her for this discussion but decided it might be easier to speak if I didn’t have to see her reactions in her eyes or on her face as I told her everything. Probably a cowardly way to do it, but it also gave me a chance to feel her body next to mine in case she decided not to have anything to do with me after this.

I took her hand in mine as I stared at the way the underwater lights played with the bubbles. “I know you said that you know everything, but I don’t think you do. And this is something we really need to talk about.” I gave her hand a squeeze before loosening my grip, giving her the option to pull away if shewanted to. “Liam was an accident. I never had a relationship with his mother outside of sex.”

She pulled her hand away and my heart leapt, choking me. But I continued, knowing that if I stopped, I’d completely lose my nerve.

I told her about meeting Debbie earlier in the summer in Gimli and then seeing her again at the water park and then again at the hospital. Her body stiffened beside me as I explained what was going through my mind, about how I’d been disgusted with my behaviour and self destructing. I told her about how Jason confronted me, telling me to grow up. And then how I’d needed to come clean with Jarrod, explaining the previous rules of our earlier relationship. Up until that moment, I never realized that I’d never truly talked to her about the type of relationship I’d had with Jason and Jarrod. Sure, after the surprise public kiss I given Jarrod, I’d spoken a little bit about it to her, but never anything in depth since there hadn’t been anything deeper than friendship officially between us at that point. But even after that night when I’d kissed her and when I told her that I was going to treat her like Jason and Jarrod did, giving her all the power and control in our relationship, I’d never talked to her about how this would all work between the four of us. Had Jason or Jarrod done that or was this an area that we all had lacked in?

“So, you never saw Debbie after that night in the hospital?”

Her question surprised me, making me hesitate. Out of everything I’d told her, I expected something different. I wasn’t sure what, but certainly not something so calm, collected, and rational. Did she truly understand everything I told her? Or was her lack of reaction a sign that I just didn’t mean that much to her? No, that couldn’t be right. Jason had been hinting for years that Katy had feelings for me that were deeper than the crush everyone else used to tease her about when she was younger.

“Oh my gosh, you slept with her again, after that, didn’t you? When she came to see you.”

“What?” How did Katy know about Debbie coming to see me? I needed answers, but first I needed to reassure her, let her know that I wasn’t the same guy I’d been back then. “No. I never slept with her again. I’ve never slept with another woman since her. Jason had been right. I needed to grow up, so I spent last year making those changes. But now I need to know, how did you know I saw her again?”

Katy pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, making herself small next to me. I wanted to reach out, to wrap her in my arms and comfort her like I used to do. Even last summer, before everything went to shit, despite the selfish asshole I’d been, she’d still been my weak spot. She’d struggled one night after one of our parties, seeing things that she shouldn’t have in my carelessness, yet she’d still wanted me to hold her. But not tonight. Tonight, she pulled away and that worried me. I could only hope she needed time like she she’d needed that night after the party.

“She left you a letter.”

Her quiet and shattered voice made her words difficult to hear over the sounds of the hot tub. So, I asked her to repeat herself in case I hadn’t heard correctly. Because if Debbie had left me a letter with Liam, Katy would have told me about it, right?

But I was wrong. She had and Katy had hid it.

Katy put her feet down and stood before walking around me to the stairs. “I put it in the tiny, zippered pocket in the diaper bag. The one on the inside of the bigger pocket on the right side.”

I reached for her arm, stopping her from leaving. “I’m not upset with you for not telling me about it. I understand why you did. And I’m sorry about bringing all this upheaval into our lives.I never meant for any of this to happen. I only hope that you can forgive me, seeing all the changes I’ve made in my life.”

Her shoulders shook, but when she looked over her shoulder at me, I couldn’t see any tears, only sadness. “I know you were different then and you’ve made lots of changes. Even though it was hard for you, you were completely honest with me tonight. So, if it helps, I do forgive you although there’s nothing you need forgiving for from me. We weren’t together then.”

The soft smile she gave me as she climbed out should have given me comfort, but it didn’t. Somehow it felt like she was trying to say goodbye. And that wasn’t something I wanted. Not after all the mental anguish I’d put myself in over starting a relationship with her in the first place.

But if she needed time, I’d give it to her…

Just not too much.

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